Location: Driving from Tennesse to Southwest Virginia
~note: not sure why all these are getting terribly out of order
I think I'm learning that so far I'm having more respect for the older people in community. Maybe its becasue they don't have the "hippie look." Maybe its because I feel more accepted and the peopel seem more friendly to me.
Another thing I'm learning is that I love interviewing people. Maybe its a part of me that likes prying for the core of someone's being, or at least getting to understand some part of their experience. Is it just b/c I enjoy the subject, people talking about faith?
I wonder if it's an information hunger inside of me--I;d be really reluctant to call myself a good listener, or at least someone who can listen for the total sake of just listening. Can you make a career/future/calling out of a love for interviewing?
Sunday, June 18, 2006
PAPA (People Against Poverty and Apathy) festival 6/22-6/25
Location: Meryville, Tennesse
I just spennt four days at a festival that would likely resemble a Christian woodstock to any outsider--no showering, everyone in tents, shared food and lots of rock bands.
At first I struggled with feeling that in order to be a Christian choosing to living in Christian intentional service community (what I've been studying, sorry for the plethora of buzz words), I needed to buy into this accompanying culture--the dred locks, the self-made clothing, obssession with organic foods, the ultra thin body, lack of showering for days, not shaving, etc. I felt so much pressure to be of the "festival type" the out-doorsy person who loves outdoor-music and that whole scene.
Ad of course this was two-fold, once I realized that I didn't need to be of that strain to rightly follow Jesus--I easily saw myself judging and looking down on those who fit so easily into this culture. I prayed throughout my time there that I would stop being so judgmental and being to see the purity of heart in these people that the world would see as overly pierced, tatooed and apathetic (ironically).
The last morning I watched as we centered around the communion, everyone--whether dreded hair, preppy, conservative dressed-Bruderhod or openly bisexual Christians---and we all were humbled. I was finally able to look around and see followered of Christ. A man with a cow/bull-like pierced nose, tatooed face and body and long dreded blond hair and a biker vest passed by me quietly singing "alleliuia" to himself. It was beauitufl, as strange as it was, as juxtaposed as so much felt this weekend.
I felt like a stranger to this crowd--but loved and cared for by the group I came with, the wonderful Lewises who have been introduced into my life again (couple from Shreveport), this group I met up with that fed/housed/drove me. It was a day I had to reflect that I really know no one here--but yet I did, the bond of Christ and a common pursuit of attempting to follow Jesus had blinded me from remembering just how out of place I was in this place.
Do I stop liking things when they become trendy? When it seemed the mobs who'd read Shane's book and had their "world wrecked" or believed it to be the greatest book of our generation.....all came to this conference seeking out community living, or wanting to join the simple way like every philadelphia groupie.....I don't know, do I want community living? do I want to be a servant?
However, Jesus isn't trendy, though he might have felt that way this weekend.
I am fairly confused, not knowing whether I really desire to be a part of any of this anymore. Another subtle feeling that this whole figuring out what's next in my life just won't be that easy. But i take it as God's little way of showing me with all these quiet "nos" in the stirrings of my heart this summer that he will take care of me, like he has each time before, that this slightly uncomfortable feeling I get looking at the stated options for my future, that I just need to learn to trust.
I just spennt four days at a festival that would likely resemble a Christian woodstock to any outsider--no showering, everyone in tents, shared food and lots of rock bands.
At first I struggled with feeling that in order to be a Christian choosing to living in Christian intentional service community (what I've been studying, sorry for the plethora of buzz words), I needed to buy into this accompanying culture--the dred locks, the self-made clothing, obssession with organic foods, the ultra thin body, lack of showering for days, not shaving, etc. I felt so much pressure to be of the "festival type" the out-doorsy person who loves outdoor-music and that whole scene.
Ad of course this was two-fold, once I realized that I didn't need to be of that strain to rightly follow Jesus--I easily saw myself judging and looking down on those who fit so easily into this culture. I prayed throughout my time there that I would stop being so judgmental and being to see the purity of heart in these people that the world would see as overly pierced, tatooed and apathetic (ironically).
The last morning I watched as we centered around the communion, everyone--whether dreded hair, preppy, conservative dressed-Bruderhod or openly bisexual Christians---and we all were humbled. I was finally able to look around and see followered of Christ. A man with a cow/bull-like pierced nose, tatooed face and body and long dreded blond hair and a biker vest passed by me quietly singing "alleliuia" to himself. It was beauitufl, as strange as it was, as juxtaposed as so much felt this weekend.
I felt like a stranger to this crowd--but loved and cared for by the group I came with, the wonderful Lewises who have been introduced into my life again (couple from Shreveport), this group I met up with that fed/housed/drove me. It was a day I had to reflect that I really know no one here--but yet I did, the bond of Christ and a common pursuit of attempting to follow Jesus had blinded me from remembering just how out of place I was in this place.
Do I stop liking things when they become trendy? When it seemed the mobs who'd read Shane's book and had their "world wrecked" or believed it to be the greatest book of our generation.....all came to this conference seeking out community living, or wanting to join the simple way like every philadelphia groupie.....I don't know, do I want community living? do I want to be a servant?
However, Jesus isn't trendy, though he might have felt that way this weekend.
I am fairly confused, not knowing whether I really desire to be a part of any of this anymore. Another subtle feeling that this whole figuring out what's next in my life just won't be that easy. But i take it as God's little way of showing me with all these quiet "nos" in the stirrings of my heart this summer that he will take care of me, like he has each time before, that this slightly uncomfortable feeling I get looking at the stated options for my future, that I just need to learn to trust.
6/20-6/22: Christian Hippies #5
Location: North Lexington, Kentucky
This group was really great to me as well, hospitable of course. It is always so reassuring to feel people are excited to talk to me or are enthused to hear about my project.
This group was mostly made up of couples who lived separately in terms of separate houses but were part of a hosue church together. One couple moved out of communal living the day I was there. Several families had individuals living with them.
I was struck by how God's mark or mission looked so different on each couple I encountered. The couple I stayed with were wonderfully hospitable people. They demonstrated a humble servanthood and love for their neighbors, admitedly largely ignorant of the larger "movement" going on worldwide, they simply lived out as urban missionaries in their neighborhood, no frills attached. That kind of humility is stricking and hard for someone as prideful as I can be sometimes to grape with. They spent a few hours each night just sitting in their front yard in order to greet neighbors while their kids played around.
It was a pure love. They had so many funny almost "tricks"--picking up ants as an excuse for walking down the street, borrowing lawn equipment as a mode for building trust.
Other couples were a little more engaged in the intellectual talk several talked to me about Emerging churches alot. Many had graduate degrees.
I watched people speak honestly about whether they'd made real change, whether they were following what God wanted. I watched someone cry out that they didn't understand the cross in light of the suffering they'd seen in the world, that at this point, it was beyond their grasp.
I also love meeting people who I can look at and say--oh! I see something in what they're doing that I could purely desire for myself. I watched a young couple lead a seeker's Bible study together and in watching them pastor/minister together I was overwhelmed with a desire to someday be in that position, to be in team-ministry with someone someday, whether husband or not.
Lexington, Kentucky taught me much so many of the same lessons I've learned so far--that faith is a lifelong journet with large bumps, confusions, and adjustments that will never end.
This group was really great to me as well, hospitable of course. It is always so reassuring to feel people are excited to talk to me or are enthused to hear about my project.
This group was mostly made up of couples who lived separately in terms of separate houses but were part of a hosue church together. One couple moved out of communal living the day I was there. Several families had individuals living with them.
I was struck by how God's mark or mission looked so different on each couple I encountered. The couple I stayed with were wonderfully hospitable people. They demonstrated a humble servanthood and love for their neighbors, admitedly largely ignorant of the larger "movement" going on worldwide, they simply lived out as urban missionaries in their neighborhood, no frills attached. That kind of humility is stricking and hard for someone as prideful as I can be sometimes to grape with. They spent a few hours each night just sitting in their front yard in order to greet neighbors while their kids played around.
It was a pure love. They had so many funny almost "tricks"--picking up ants as an excuse for walking down the street, borrowing lawn equipment as a mode for building trust.
Other couples were a little more engaged in the intellectual talk several talked to me about Emerging churches alot. Many had graduate degrees.
I watched people speak honestly about whether they'd made real change, whether they were following what God wanted. I watched someone cry out that they didn't understand the cross in light of the suffering they'd seen in the world, that at this point, it was beyond their grasp.
I also love meeting people who I can look at and say--oh! I see something in what they're doing that I could purely desire for myself. I watched a young couple lead a seeker's Bible study together and in watching them pastor/minister together I was overwhelmed with a desire to someday be in that position, to be in team-ministry with someone someday, whether husband or not.
Lexington, Kentucky taught me much so many of the same lessons I've learned so far--that faith is a lifelong journet with large bumps, confusions, and adjustments that will never end.
6/19 Aging
So last semester I took a class on aging, sociology of aging.
I’ve spent the past few days with my great aunt and uncle at their retirement home in Lexington, Kentucky. It has been my first long encounter with older people since that class.
They talk about how life moves slower now, she says she is sometimes lonely, she is constantly needing something to do –to date she’s made about 215 baby bonnets for local hospitals (in the past 3-4 months). They say they have less energy. They wish they could travel more—but they can’t.
I see so many of the things we studied in that class played out—ageism against other aging people, the inner workings of nursing homes---the fact that my relatives have enough money to live in such a probably expensive, all-inclusive, well maintained place alone is amazing.
However, aging is sad, there was a blunt talk about how they’ve already bought and paid for the caskets, burial plots—we laugh someone decorated their empty grave on memorial day!
Its also sad to see the way older people begin to lose their prestige, at least in this society, or maybe its something that always goes on—I’ve just never been so close to it. There is talk about how my aunt can no longer do needlepoint—funny though, she’s working on about 7-8 project now, not up to her old quality at all, but she’ll never know people are discussing that and maybe not using her products before severe corrections…they used to be prized treasures in the family, a stocking, a pillow was coveted from her.
There’s the discussion about her memory, her ability to drive. And not to say they don’t talk about him, but he’s already blind and incapable, so its all on her.
I wrote a long paper about the sandwich generation [older generation, my parents generation, caring for their parents and their children simultaneously], made me cry often to think about my parents experiences, often how intimately aware I was of how easily I came to be a confidant as their parents in some sense “lost ground,” I would never want to say they lost respect for their parents, I would instead say there is a definite mode of coping that goes on. I wonder how often the experience, the caregiving, care-arranging experience that is, shapes their own view of aging, whether it induces fear or happiness or ambivalence. For me, right now, it makes me apprehensive. I don’t always want to have the attitude of “I’ll never be like that,” however easy that may be to adopt.
I’ve spent the past few days with my great aunt and uncle at their retirement home in Lexington, Kentucky. It has been my first long encounter with older people since that class.
They talk about how life moves slower now, she says she is sometimes lonely, she is constantly needing something to do –to date she’s made about 215 baby bonnets for local hospitals (in the past 3-4 months). They say they have less energy. They wish they could travel more—but they can’t.
I see so many of the things we studied in that class played out—ageism against other aging people, the inner workings of nursing homes---the fact that my relatives have enough money to live in such a probably expensive, all-inclusive, well maintained place alone is amazing.
However, aging is sad, there was a blunt talk about how they’ve already bought and paid for the caskets, burial plots—we laugh someone decorated their empty grave on memorial day!
Its also sad to see the way older people begin to lose their prestige, at least in this society, or maybe its something that always goes on—I’ve just never been so close to it. There is talk about how my aunt can no longer do needlepoint—funny though, she’s working on about 7-8 project now, not up to her old quality at all, but she’ll never know people are discussing that and maybe not using her products before severe corrections…they used to be prized treasures in the family, a stocking, a pillow was coveted from her.
There’s the discussion about her memory, her ability to drive. And not to say they don’t talk about him, but he’s already blind and incapable, so its all on her.
I wrote a long paper about the sandwich generation [older generation, my parents generation, caring for their parents and their children simultaneously], made me cry often to think about my parents experiences, often how intimately aware I was of how easily I came to be a confidant as their parents in some sense “lost ground,” I would never want to say they lost respect for their parents, I would instead say there is a definite mode of coping that goes on. I wonder how often the experience, the caregiving, care-arranging experience that is, shapes their own view of aging, whether it induces fear or happiness or ambivalence. For me, right now, it makes me apprehensive. I don’t always want to have the attitude of “I’ll never be like that,” however easy that may be to adopt.
6/18 The Big Kahuna, a vision of Evangelism
Location: Lexington, Kentucky, "hotel" portion of retirement home
If you haven’t seen this film, there is a young professional, in only his first year at a major marketing firm who is sent out with a team to represent his company. He also happens to be a particularly evangelical Christian. This character, Bob, meets Kevin Spacey’s character, a ruthless, semi-disillusioned middle-aged long-time employee of the company.
Bob is a particularly well-behaved, almost self-righteous man. I wonder whether this was meant to portray Christianity in a good or bad light through this portion of his “outer” character—not going to strip bars, drinking hard liquor or smoking cigarettes, and seemingly never associated with those who do. That is the part that has me questioning, his gasps that the world could be so bad to include those who would do all those things he would never dare, is this a good picture of a Christian?
Furthermore, Bob comes into trouble for his mode of evangelism. Instead of talking business with the major client coming into town (to his credit, he didn’t recognize him), he instead talks to him about death and life and Christ. This is relational evangelism, or is it? Honestly, we will never know. He does first talking to the man about his dead dog, finding out something personal about him. Does he twist the conversation? Is this ok?
The Danny Devito character tells him that his evangelism is nothing more than a sales pitch, a way of marketing Jesus. His suggestion is that Bob, the young Christian, instead focus on learning more about the individual, his hopes and dreams instead of “placing his hands on the conversation and steering it”—at which point he declares Bob stops being a human being and starts being a salesman.
So what is relational evangelism then anyway? Bob does find out about the man; however, he is the first to bring up the topic of Jesus—is this sales? Is marketing Jesus wrong? Is it marketing when it becomes personal? Is it only marketing when we pull out the track and 10-step points to “have a personal relationship with Christ?”
In the end the character who is criticizing Bob seems to come out on top, though the movie ends with that trendy song a few years ago with life lessons to rap music entitled something about “always wear sunscreen--”truly secular conventional wisdom and advice. We see Bob continuing to talk to the businessman—whether about jesus or business now, we don’t know. He didn’t want to get his messages mixed, make the man think he was talking about god in order to make him give them the business, but has Bob done wrong? At what point? Will he ever be able to keep a job this way?
I want to side with bob, but not having heard his conversations, its hard to know.
If you haven’t seen this film, there is a young professional, in only his first year at a major marketing firm who is sent out with a team to represent his company. He also happens to be a particularly evangelical Christian. This character, Bob, meets Kevin Spacey’s character, a ruthless, semi-disillusioned middle-aged long-time employee of the company.
Bob is a particularly well-behaved, almost self-righteous man. I wonder whether this was meant to portray Christianity in a good or bad light through this portion of his “outer” character—not going to strip bars, drinking hard liquor or smoking cigarettes, and seemingly never associated with those who do. That is the part that has me questioning, his gasps that the world could be so bad to include those who would do all those things he would never dare, is this a good picture of a Christian?
Furthermore, Bob comes into trouble for his mode of evangelism. Instead of talking business with the major client coming into town (to his credit, he didn’t recognize him), he instead talks to him about death and life and Christ. This is relational evangelism, or is it? Honestly, we will never know. He does first talking to the man about his dead dog, finding out something personal about him. Does he twist the conversation? Is this ok?
The Danny Devito character tells him that his evangelism is nothing more than a sales pitch, a way of marketing Jesus. His suggestion is that Bob, the young Christian, instead focus on learning more about the individual, his hopes and dreams instead of “placing his hands on the conversation and steering it”—at which point he declares Bob stops being a human being and starts being a salesman.
So what is relational evangelism then anyway? Bob does find out about the man; however, he is the first to bring up the topic of Jesus—is this sales? Is marketing Jesus wrong? Is it marketing when it becomes personal? Is it only marketing when we pull out the track and 10-step points to “have a personal relationship with Christ?”
In the end the character who is criticizing Bob seems to come out on top, though the movie ends with that trendy song a few years ago with life lessons to rap music entitled something about “always wear sunscreen--”truly secular conventional wisdom and advice. We see Bob continuing to talk to the businessman—whether about jesus or business now, we don’t know. He didn’t want to get his messages mixed, make the man think he was talking about god in order to make him give them the business, but has Bob done wrong? At what point? Will he ever be able to keep a job this way?
I want to side with bob, but not having heard his conversations, its hard to know.
Twangs
Short comment. Randy Travis concert. Rolling texas highway plains. I love the open highway, meaning absolutely nothing on either side, that is except some tumbleweed and some grass, quintessential texas (texas hill country, its not all that way, come and see).
But Randy and open highway make me want to listen to country music. Not only listen to country music, but to let the sound seep into my being, to become country, again. I start to get my country twang out in these parts, its a beautiful thing. I miss it. Sometimes my mother brings it out when she's talking about something funny or country, I wish I could take it with my everywhere.
But Randy and open highway make me want to listen to country music. Not only listen to country music, but to let the sound seep into my being, to become country, again. I start to get my country twang out in these parts, its a beautiful thing. I miss it. Sometimes my mother brings it out when she's talking about something funny or country, I wish I could take it with my everywhere.
Monday, June 12, 2006
Passion by Proxy?
I just finished watching the powerful film "Paradise Now." It is about two Palestinian men about to become suicide bombers in Tel Aviv. It is very compelling and discusses some of the nuances of the conflict, capturing some of the oppression of the Palestinian people. Made me consider the power of propaganda.
I had rented the film because a good friend had recommended it to me, discussing the impact it'd had on them. This got me thinking, myself who has never been to Israel or Palestine or done much more than several internet searches or reading the articles and websites and presentations that friends have sent to me.....I feel fairly passionate about this "issue." Or you could say the Palestinian people. While I say I feel passionate I have a couple of close friends who truly feel very passionate, considering how to devote their lives to this, the liberation or struggle of Israeli occupation. I guess the suicide bombers feel the same way, I wouldn't know.
But I say that I consider that I have at least some marginal sense of this passion, that in an argument I will present the case my friends have versed me in and fight for this "cause" though I know nothing first hand. Is this ok? My passion is probably greater than an enormous portion of the population. But it has not been witnessed, I am going off the words of others. The words of others I trust immensely and feel similar heart stirrings, little god pushes if you will.
Do I impart passion onto others? How many things can we all be expected to hold dear to our hearts? Is there a first passion and then lots of secondary---which is the Palestinian plight for me? Are there third-level passions? Shane would say to forget issues, their importance. To love people, that is the gospel and that is our mission, not to prioritize or focus energy.....this is a great thought, is this practical? Reality?
Are we buying into one another's propoganda or is this how social change works?
I beg for the later...to live off the passion of others, to hope to pass that passion on.......in the end it isn't my passion, my good friend's passion, if we were to each own it all separately, nothing would ever change. It's god's passion we can hope to hold.
I had rented the film because a good friend had recommended it to me, discussing the impact it'd had on them. This got me thinking, myself who has never been to Israel or Palestine or done much more than several internet searches or reading the articles and websites and presentations that friends have sent to me.....I feel fairly passionate about this "issue." Or you could say the Palestinian people. While I say I feel passionate I have a couple of close friends who truly feel very passionate, considering how to devote their lives to this, the liberation or struggle of Israeli occupation. I guess the suicide bombers feel the same way, I wouldn't know.
But I say that I consider that I have at least some marginal sense of this passion, that in an argument I will present the case my friends have versed me in and fight for this "cause" though I know nothing first hand. Is this ok? My passion is probably greater than an enormous portion of the population. But it has not been witnessed, I am going off the words of others. The words of others I trust immensely and feel similar heart stirrings, little god pushes if you will.
Do I impart passion onto others? How many things can we all be expected to hold dear to our hearts? Is there a first passion and then lots of secondary---which is the Palestinian plight for me? Are there third-level passions? Shane would say to forget issues, their importance. To love people, that is the gospel and that is our mission, not to prioritize or focus energy.....this is a great thought, is this practical? Reality?
Are we buying into one another's propoganda or is this how social change works?
I beg for the later...to live off the passion of others, to hope to pass that passion on.......in the end it isn't my passion, my good friend's passion, if we were to each own it all separately, nothing would ever change. It's god's passion we can hope to hold.
Meeting of the Minds
This morning I met with someone right here in Southlake with very similar research interests. However, he is researching Emergent. Funny how connected all of these things become thought.
First, weird that we had both interviewed the same couple. And he'd gotten my name from them.
Such a blessing to really get to vent and think out some of the similar sociological issues that are coming up with our work. The whole idea of creating the sample, what counts and what doesn't? Are we seeing similar scripts and calling them the same thing? What about all these people evading labels and definiton like its the plauge? What about when you're emotionally exhausted? How do you deal with the personal questions going on simulateneously.
Interesting though, he's a phd student. It is great to know my work is not rediculously amateur and I've created some of a respectable repuation (haha) for myself in these communities. I always believed phd people were beyond out of my league. I got some ideas about considering graduate school, I am loving this kind of research, as all-consuming as it is.
Made me wonder though how many people are out the researching what I'm researching I don't even know about. Could we pick more trendy topics within christian culture?
First, weird that we had both interviewed the same couple. And he'd gotten my name from them.
Such a blessing to really get to vent and think out some of the similar sociological issues that are coming up with our work. The whole idea of creating the sample, what counts and what doesn't? Are we seeing similar scripts and calling them the same thing? What about all these people evading labels and definiton like its the plauge? What about when you're emotionally exhausted? How do you deal with the personal questions going on simulateneously.
Interesting though, he's a phd student. It is great to know my work is not rediculously amateur and I've created some of a respectable repuation (haha) for myself in these communities. I always believed phd people were beyond out of my league. I got some ideas about considering graduate school, I am loving this kind of research, as all-consuming as it is.
Made me wonder though how many people are out the researching what I'm researching I don't even know about. Could we pick more trendy topics within christian culture?
A nice visit
I spent the weekend with my best friend from high school in Houston. It was so great to not only see the life she's built for herself there but also how she's embraced the surroundings.
I just find it facinating to see what the people I've been so close to for so long end up doing. She's been semi-fluent in spanish for almost 4 years now, giving her the opportunity to work with spanish speaking group working with education in houston (another one of her passions, education). And beyond that, she was contacted by someone about consulting while I was there. For one, amazing that her talent was that evident from one meeting to the point she got a job offer off of it....but also, yet another use of something she's really interested in, seeing psychology put to use.
I am continually facinated with the way the mosaics of our lives are coming together to make one beautiful picture. I think I fall into the misperception that we all have our own mosaic in the making. Maybe its one big human-kind mosaic though, not even the individualistic American way. All interconnected....yeaa sounds like hippie philosophy, but really think about it!
Other comments on the weekend: getting to meet her boyfriend who just fits with her, hard to explain but it just makes sense......and that TEXAS IS HOT! 2 outdoor baseball games.......99+degree heat, yuck, Texas is hot. And its only the 2nd week in June.
I just find it facinating to see what the people I've been so close to for so long end up doing. She's been semi-fluent in spanish for almost 4 years now, giving her the opportunity to work with spanish speaking group working with education in houston (another one of her passions, education). And beyond that, she was contacted by someone about consulting while I was there. For one, amazing that her talent was that evident from one meeting to the point she got a job offer off of it....but also, yet another use of something she's really interested in, seeing psychology put to use.
I am continually facinated with the way the mosaics of our lives are coming together to make one beautiful picture. I think I fall into the misperception that we all have our own mosaic in the making. Maybe its one big human-kind mosaic though, not even the individualistic American way. All interconnected....yeaa sounds like hippie philosophy, but really think about it!
Other comments on the weekend: getting to meet her boyfriend who just fits with her, hard to explain but it just makes sense......and that TEXAS IS HOT! 2 outdoor baseball games.......99+degree heat, yuck, Texas is hot. And its only the 2nd week in June.
An inherited wandering spirit
So maybe its the devotional I've been reading lately (Beth Moore's Breaking Free) which talked this past week about family history and family traits and their effects on our lives....or maybe I'm just thinking too much.
But I think I've inherited my father's love/habit/knack for wandering. Some would call it a love for random road trips. Others, probably my brother, would call it an annoyance. We like to drive long distances to go see some landmark/scene/place, stay for maybe 30 minutes, walk around and then drive back. Generally we go alone. By that I mean we both do this, separately I've found....though we've done it together too [the random road trip to go find Crawford and Bush's residence, protestor house]. Most of the time we don't even talk to anyone.
At least it makes for a good story....and often some good pictures as well.
I took a stop by Texas A&M/College station the other day. This is another trait of my father's, wandering aimlessly around college campuses for no particular reason. I wandered, took a good lap around the campus for about an hour, took a picture of the water tower, walked up and down what seemed to be the main drag in town, a hour later, was on my way.
There's a love for the peculiar. I remember a trip I planned to go see where an alien sighting had been 100 years before. My father has a special liking for family history. Once we hopped a stranger's fence and ended up in their backyard in a family cemetary.
Regardless, this spirit also makes for a love for loner vacations. Possibly why going to new york alone was a great experience for me. Makes me excited about all the places I will get to explore this summer.
But I think I've inherited my father's love/habit/knack for wandering. Some would call it a love for random road trips. Others, probably my brother, would call it an annoyance. We like to drive long distances to go see some landmark/scene/place, stay for maybe 30 minutes, walk around and then drive back. Generally we go alone. By that I mean we both do this, separately I've found....though we've done it together too [the random road trip to go find Crawford and Bush's residence, protestor house]. Most of the time we don't even talk to anyone.
At least it makes for a good story....and often some good pictures as well.
I took a stop by Texas A&M/College station the other day. This is another trait of my father's, wandering aimlessly around college campuses for no particular reason. I wandered, took a good lap around the campus for about an hour, took a picture of the water tower, walked up and down what seemed to be the main drag in town, a hour later, was on my way.
There's a love for the peculiar. I remember a trip I planned to go see where an alien sighting had been 100 years before. My father has a special liking for family history. Once we hopped a stranger's fence and ended up in their backyard in a family cemetary.
Regardless, this spirit also makes for a love for loner vacations. Possibly why going to new york alone was a great experience for me. Makes me excited about all the places I will get to explore this summer.
Christian Hippies #4
On my drive down to Houston, I took a detour to visit a group affiliated with a local church in Waco.
From the beginning I wasn't really sure not only what I was getting myself into but also whether this group qualified as New Monastic. This begs the question of what qualifies. They were affiliated in a Baylor newspaper article, so that seemed to be enough to constitute a visit.
No one in the community had ever heard of New Monastic communities or the article. The church runs what they call "discipleship houses" of an older church member and usually a few college people of one gender that people can choose to live in for a year. Some of the houses are located in disadvantaged neighborhoods and engage the neighborhood. The only part that is missing largely is the long-term commitment.
However, it was interesting to see how remants of my past played out here. For one, this group was only here for a month, living as a home missions project through the church. It was through Baylor, the school I once would've loved to go to. It was interesting to see that for the most part people were much more about the church than the social justice aspect, I wondered if mentioning the phrase would be taboo. That could've just been a vibe though.
However the reallly weird blast from the past came with the neighborhood summer camp they were running. The director there had worked at KAA (kid's across America, Kanakuk's inner city kid kamp (yes, with a K) the same summer I did for older kids. The kids from Waco were going up at the end of the month. I hadn't heard those cheers or "get hype for Jesus" in 2 years.
I hated that summer, absolutely hated it. I couldn't have felt more out of place among jock Christians who seemed like the popular kids from high school all again. However, God continues to use little reminders of some good lessons I learned there, like seeing yet another connection in this mosaic in the making that is my life. I guess all things really do work out for the good.....
From the beginning I wasn't really sure not only what I was getting myself into but also whether this group qualified as New Monastic. This begs the question of what qualifies. They were affiliated in a Baylor newspaper article, so that seemed to be enough to constitute a visit.
No one in the community had ever heard of New Monastic communities or the article. The church runs what they call "discipleship houses" of an older church member and usually a few college people of one gender that people can choose to live in for a year. Some of the houses are located in disadvantaged neighborhoods and engage the neighborhood. The only part that is missing largely is the long-term commitment.
However, it was interesting to see how remants of my past played out here. For one, this group was only here for a month, living as a home missions project through the church. It was through Baylor, the school I once would've loved to go to. It was interesting to see that for the most part people were much more about the church than the social justice aspect, I wondered if mentioning the phrase would be taboo. That could've just been a vibe though.
However the reallly weird blast from the past came with the neighborhood summer camp they were running. The director there had worked at KAA (kid's across America, Kanakuk's inner city kid kamp (yes, with a K) the same summer I did for older kids. The kids from Waco were going up at the end of the month. I hadn't heard those cheers or "get hype for Jesus" in 2 years.
I hated that summer, absolutely hated it. I couldn't have felt more out of place among jock Christians who seemed like the popular kids from high school all again. However, God continues to use little reminders of some good lessons I learned there, like seeing yet another connection in this mosaic in the making that is my life. I guess all things really do work out for the good.....
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
The Southlake Flea Market
A brief stint with the Southlake Flea Market.
The Southlake Flea market seems to be the brush with culture that Southlake is missing. Granted most people there are most likely not from Southlake, it was an interesting morning.
For one, going to school in a high school probably 95+% white, I believe I saw more minorities in my time there than I have during all my time at home. Almost everyone there spoke spanish. The "taco trucks" were out. I bought cut cocconut from a vendor. Small latino children everywhere.
Some other interesting things at the flea market....2 Buddhist monks in full dress (largest buddhist temple in texas is a town over), and always some sort of bird for sale, today pretty normal, ducks and chickens.
Sadly though there are some kind of tragic things that do come to mind there. Why are people reselling cheap cereal and shampoo, there's a definite desperation in that. I wonder if its cheaper than in the store, I wonder if some families buy their "groceries" here. Some trucks look like they are selling nothing but truly junk, old electronics or furniture, or knock off clothing. Does anyone every buy from these people? Is this a lifestyle or a hobby? Do they have a home or are they living in their trucks?
How long the Southlake flea market will survive, its hard to tell. Rumor has it its still around because the ex-mayor's mother owns the whole enterprise and wanders around in her golf cart collecting renters fees from people. 114 front property, probably soon to be another commercial enterprise, strip mall. Then what? The people of the flea market will just get pushed out again, to some other place for their Tuesday mornings at least.
The Southlake Flea market seems to be the brush with culture that Southlake is missing. Granted most people there are most likely not from Southlake, it was an interesting morning.
For one, going to school in a high school probably 95+% white, I believe I saw more minorities in my time there than I have during all my time at home. Almost everyone there spoke spanish. The "taco trucks" were out. I bought cut cocconut from a vendor. Small latino children everywhere.
Some other interesting things at the flea market....2 Buddhist monks in full dress (largest buddhist temple in texas is a town over), and always some sort of bird for sale, today pretty normal, ducks and chickens.
Sadly though there are some kind of tragic things that do come to mind there. Why are people reselling cheap cereal and shampoo, there's a definite desperation in that. I wonder if its cheaper than in the store, I wonder if some families buy their "groceries" here. Some trucks look like they are selling nothing but truly junk, old electronics or furniture, or knock off clothing. Does anyone every buy from these people? Is this a lifestyle or a hobby? Do they have a home or are they living in their trucks?
How long the Southlake flea market will survive, its hard to tell. Rumor has it its still around because the ex-mayor's mother owns the whole enterprise and wanders around in her golf cart collecting renters fees from people. 114 front property, probably soon to be another commercial enterprise, strip mall. Then what? The people of the flea market will just get pushed out again, to some other place for their Tuesday mornings at least.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Christian Hippies #3
Wow, this has been such a trip. Common Ground, Shreveport, Louisiana. www.lvoe.org
This group of people differed, haha, yet again from anything I'd seen before. I don't know if it's the amount of time I've spent here, the personalities involved here, or our general relationship (I told them by age, lifestyle as well) to one another....but the people of this community have welcomed me and shown me hospitality in ways I had never imagined.
To begin with, everyone in the formal "community" is middle aged, most with children almost my age. This created an immediate parent-child like bond. However, I never felt demeaned or belittled. Beyond that, I felt welcomed as a peer who was also along "the journey" of discovering what this Following Jesus was all about....for the long haul.
They were not radical but practical people who in their own words had "woken-up" mid life and decided to change their lives. I don't know if I could do it like they are doing. They have such great hearts and a wonderful love for one another and the community that they have been spending a lot of time in. They have bought 2 houses there, cook dinner weekly, and created a garden. They started a health clinic. However, every one of them would tell you that that is not important at all. What has "wrecked their lives" and been the greatest blessing all at the same time has been the relationships with the people they've met and learned from. They've become real friends.
No one's a vegetarian and no one obsesses over fair trade/organic. They fight with themselves, their peers, and the institutionalized church to discover the best way to love their friends.
Amongst the group, some personality traits. One woman had my bed spread (she let me sleep in her huge bed!) and my same birthday. One man is more of a Shane fanatic than I can ever hope to be. One woman seems like a few years older version of me, struggling constantly with feelings of inadequacy when she doesn't do enough. Some have seen their children go off and become monastics. Others struggle with their kid's spending habits (which they allowed and have sustained so long).
What a testament that being a Christian is a lifelong journey. We're never too far gone. Never too far gone for Jesus to "wreck our lives" and throw us back on the right path, straight to him. What a blessing its been to learn from their many trials. Sharing in the joy and pain of common discovery. We laughed and even cried some together.
This group of people differed, haha, yet again from anything I'd seen before. I don't know if it's the amount of time I've spent here, the personalities involved here, or our general relationship (I told them by age, lifestyle as well) to one another....but the people of this community have welcomed me and shown me hospitality in ways I had never imagined.
To begin with, everyone in the formal "community" is middle aged, most with children almost my age. This created an immediate parent-child like bond. However, I never felt demeaned or belittled. Beyond that, I felt welcomed as a peer who was also along "the journey" of discovering what this Following Jesus was all about....for the long haul.
They were not radical but practical people who in their own words had "woken-up" mid life and decided to change their lives. I don't know if I could do it like they are doing. They have such great hearts and a wonderful love for one another and the community that they have been spending a lot of time in. They have bought 2 houses there, cook dinner weekly, and created a garden. They started a health clinic. However, every one of them would tell you that that is not important at all. What has "wrecked their lives" and been the greatest blessing all at the same time has been the relationships with the people they've met and learned from. They've become real friends.
No one's a vegetarian and no one obsesses over fair trade/organic. They fight with themselves, their peers, and the institutionalized church to discover the best way to love their friends.
Amongst the group, some personality traits. One woman had my bed spread (she let me sleep in her huge bed!) and my same birthday. One man is more of a Shane fanatic than I can ever hope to be. One woman seems like a few years older version of me, struggling constantly with feelings of inadequacy when she doesn't do enough. Some have seen their children go off and become monastics. Others struggle with their kid's spending habits (which they allowed and have sustained so long).
What a testament that being a Christian is a lifelong journey. We're never too far gone. Never too far gone for Jesus to "wreck our lives" and throw us back on the right path, straight to him. What a blessing its been to learn from their many trials. Sharing in the joy and pain of common discovery. We laughed and even cried some together.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
2 Emergent Experiences
I've been to two Emerging Churches today.....just to show the diversity of "the Emergent Church," let me tell you about where I went.
The first, "Pause." A subsection, community effort of my home mega-church. Its an attempt to fill the gap in ministry between high school seniors and married couples/young couples with children. Whether this qualifies as an "Emergent" community or not....well if I've learned much of anything about being Emergent, its just that there is no definition and beyond that, the people/groups who would fit the definition refuse the definition profusely.....funny how that works.
Well Pause is a service that takes place in the same room as the weekly youth service--its a gym, turned into an all-black room with a stage, couches, a band, tons of bohemian candles.....basically, if you pick up the book "the Emerging Church," this service models the back of the book, exactly. Creepy. Haha, well all in all, its a very nice service. Great band, normally a very 20s something-oriented sermon. Both communion and offering can take place on your own time.....during the ending song "set" you can visit both the "commune" station where you give yourself communion......or the "contribute" section where there is a box for offering (someone put in a snickers bar today....), not to mention the "connect" section that includes a place to pray and write down prayer requests.
While this whole thing seems so close to form, it is done fairly well. If only there were the people-resources to keep it afloat. Southlake Texas is just not a hot spot for the 20-30 crowd, no matter what you do. Sad. In the spirit of community; however, instead of just the passing of the peace/hand shaking session, they do encourage "real conversation" which could last as long as 4-5 minutes. Actually have to get to know someone--community, a strong part of this whole postmodern church thing.
Trial #2
Searching off the "Emerging Church" directory website, I found "Mars Hill," named independently but still somewhat remaining connected to Rob Bell's Emergent Church. Funny enough, I'd already interviewed the pastors at their home.....part of my Christian Monastics series. This group, qualifiying for "true Emergent status" looks very different from Pause.
There was little attempt to appear cool---the black room, bohemian look, couches and dimmed light of Pause was replaced by a house--where we gathered in the living room. I ran late, getting there at 5:20, 20 minutes late.....to only find out that the "service" began at 6:30pm. Before then, we stood around and talked, I had a couple of great talks about the Emerging church, Evangelism, and my research. Very friendly people. All in all, about 20 people came.
Today's service was about "Stewardship." Apparently last week they talked about stewarding, giving in terms of relationships, money, "words" and service. This was much more fluid and hippiesque in nature than anything I'd really ever seen. However, seeing the direction of my own life lately, I easily fit in and played along.
The pastor talked about how the time before we started served as a time to steward our relationships with others in the community---and how afterwards we weren't going to close in prayer for the sake that our stewarding would not end, whoa. Cool but just very different.
Instead of a formal teaching time, he had asked everyone in the community to go back and spend the week considering what God would have them bring back this next week. One guy had us speak out the names of the trinity (God, Jesus, Holy Spirit) in prayer, one guy had a psalm to read, and a woman talked about aching for the body of Christ. It felt much like my other almost-Emerging community in Newport news where we did a Quaker like exercise one time.
Results, I don't know about the whole House Church thing. People surely have a greater chance of being really connected, loved, and cared for, really experiencing community. However, there is some difficulty in the 1st time. I could handle it, being fairly friendly and really familiar with religious settings.....however, a true seeker, would they feel welcome? Is church the place for the "seeker" to come? Or would they be invited? Is it bad to place a greater burden on the believer to have to personally invite the seeker to come? hmmm....
comment!
The first, "Pause." A subsection, community effort of my home mega-church. Its an attempt to fill the gap in ministry between high school seniors and married couples/young couples with children. Whether this qualifies as an "Emergent" community or not....well if I've learned much of anything about being Emergent, its just that there is no definition and beyond that, the people/groups who would fit the definition refuse the definition profusely.....funny how that works.
Well Pause is a service that takes place in the same room as the weekly youth service--its a gym, turned into an all-black room with a stage, couches, a band, tons of bohemian candles.....basically, if you pick up the book "the Emerging Church," this service models the back of the book, exactly. Creepy. Haha, well all in all, its a very nice service. Great band, normally a very 20s something-oriented sermon. Both communion and offering can take place on your own time.....during the ending song "set" you can visit both the "commune" station where you give yourself communion......or the "contribute" section where there is a box for offering (someone put in a snickers bar today....), not to mention the "connect" section that includes a place to pray and write down prayer requests.
While this whole thing seems so close to form, it is done fairly well. If only there were the people-resources to keep it afloat. Southlake Texas is just not a hot spot for the 20-30 crowd, no matter what you do. Sad. In the spirit of community; however, instead of just the passing of the peace/hand shaking session, they do encourage "real conversation" which could last as long as 4-5 minutes. Actually have to get to know someone--community, a strong part of this whole postmodern church thing.
Trial #2
Searching off the "Emerging Church" directory website, I found "Mars Hill," named independently but still somewhat remaining connected to Rob Bell's Emergent Church. Funny enough, I'd already interviewed the pastors at their home.....part of my Christian Monastics series. This group, qualifiying for "true Emergent status" looks very different from Pause.
There was little attempt to appear cool---the black room, bohemian look, couches and dimmed light of Pause was replaced by a house--where we gathered in the living room. I ran late, getting there at 5:20, 20 minutes late.....to only find out that the "service" began at 6:30pm. Before then, we stood around and talked, I had a couple of great talks about the Emerging church, Evangelism, and my research. Very friendly people. All in all, about 20 people came.
Today's service was about "Stewardship." Apparently last week they talked about stewarding, giving in terms of relationships, money, "words" and service. This was much more fluid and hippiesque in nature than anything I'd really ever seen. However, seeing the direction of my own life lately, I easily fit in and played along.
The pastor talked about how the time before we started served as a time to steward our relationships with others in the community---and how afterwards we weren't going to close in prayer for the sake that our stewarding would not end, whoa. Cool but just very different.
Instead of a formal teaching time, he had asked everyone in the community to go back and spend the week considering what God would have them bring back this next week. One guy had us speak out the names of the trinity (God, Jesus, Holy Spirit) in prayer, one guy had a psalm to read, and a woman talked about aching for the body of Christ. It felt much like my other almost-Emerging community in Newport news where we did a Quaker like exercise one time.
Results, I don't know about the whole House Church thing. People surely have a greater chance of being really connected, loved, and cared for, really experiencing community. However, there is some difficulty in the 1st time. I could handle it, being fairly friendly and really familiar with religious settings.....however, a true seeker, would they feel welcome? Is church the place for the "seeker" to come? Or would they be invited? Is it bad to place a greater burden on the believer to have to personally invite the seeker to come? hmmm....
comment!
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Christian Hippies #2
Today I drove about an hour east of my home to Garland, Texas to visit my second "monastic community."
Many differences came out of this community, most that I would say are evidence of adapation to the Texas environment. Beyond that, however, they are a younger group, not so much by age as much by vocation. They had only begun living in community--and nominally calling themselves an abbey 8 months ago.
They mentioned how their neighbors were not very friendly(indicative of the middle class, mobile North Texan)....so the outreach bit, well they're waiting until they move to a larger home in a slightly "rougher" section of town. Interestingly, their strong interests in both the arts scene and beer tasting (mentioned several monastic communities that made wine/beer....how would the CC's respond to that one?), has provided for most of their ministry.
I did not really identify as much with the background of these folks. The married couple I spoke with, one had grown up in community in some part, offspring of true hippie parents (the whole deal) and the other a child of a divorced couple. At the other communities, the disatisfaction with "boring" middle class, white life seemed to fuel alot of common interests and stories. However, their background seemed to create a way of understanding with their families that was absent in the other communities and people I've spoken with.
I wonder about this idea of "community." Does it draw the broken? Today we spoke about how it drew people who were often "easy going" in nature, or at least those were the people that survived living in community (aka living with non related people in very close quarters, both physically, emotionally, and spiritually). But there was also this expressed element that those living in community somehow "needed" each other, as though they could not make it on their own.
Are we all in need of others? Are those living in community just the only ones to recognize it? Drawing the broken, what kind of "sin" or hurt are we talking about....must it be overt, the public/"big time" sins we all talk about....or what about the relational sin? the social sin? Sometimes we talk about the longer we have a relationship with God, counterintuitively, we become more and more dependent on him. Maybe this whole community thing is like that too, we become increasingly dependent on one another, in a good way....we hope, the more we are willing to open up to one another.
The achievement-minded, individualistic person in me questions whether I could really "die to myself" enough to join something like this. Its so much more than an outreach program. Its a very different lifestyle behind closed doors.
Many differences came out of this community, most that I would say are evidence of adapation to the Texas environment. Beyond that, however, they are a younger group, not so much by age as much by vocation. They had only begun living in community--and nominally calling themselves an abbey 8 months ago.
They mentioned how their neighbors were not very friendly(indicative of the middle class, mobile North Texan)....so the outreach bit, well they're waiting until they move to a larger home in a slightly "rougher" section of town. Interestingly, their strong interests in both the arts scene and beer tasting (mentioned several monastic communities that made wine/beer....how would the CC's respond to that one?), has provided for most of their ministry.
I did not really identify as much with the background of these folks. The married couple I spoke with, one had grown up in community in some part, offspring of true hippie parents (the whole deal) and the other a child of a divorced couple. At the other communities, the disatisfaction with "boring" middle class, white life seemed to fuel alot of common interests and stories. However, their background seemed to create a way of understanding with their families that was absent in the other communities and people I've spoken with.
I wonder about this idea of "community." Does it draw the broken? Today we spoke about how it drew people who were often "easy going" in nature, or at least those were the people that survived living in community (aka living with non related people in very close quarters, both physically, emotionally, and spiritually). But there was also this expressed element that those living in community somehow "needed" each other, as though they could not make it on their own.
Are we all in need of others? Are those living in community just the only ones to recognize it? Drawing the broken, what kind of "sin" or hurt are we talking about....must it be overt, the public/"big time" sins we all talk about....or what about the relational sin? the social sin? Sometimes we talk about the longer we have a relationship with God, counterintuitively, we become more and more dependent on him. Maybe this whole community thing is like that too, we become increasingly dependent on one another, in a good way....we hope, the more we are willing to open up to one another.
The achievement-minded, individualistic person in me questions whether I could really "die to myself" enough to join something like this. Its so much more than an outreach program. Its a very different lifestyle behind closed doors.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
The Dentist
It's funny to me how everything that consitutes being kind, politically powerful, and just Southern in Southlake, Texas is synonomous with nominal Christianity.
I love my dentist. They are the nicest people, all of them. Most everyone working there has been there for the 11 years I've gone there. The dentist and his main secretary are the uncles of one of my friends from high school...and fancy that, they're related to the family who is the mayor. Oh, Southlake politics. The family has a major road named after them.
Again the blurring of the lines of religion, though. For instance, my mayor, barely involved in my church, sang at my church at the post-September 11th service held to comfort people and pray for others. I remember feeling somewhat troubled by this. I'm not sure if I had some idea that religion and politics shouldn't mix....or what it was. Its funny though, pretty much any politician looking to get elected in this town must very publically (in flyers sent in the mail normally) announce their church membership, ususally to our church or the other mega church.
But back to the dentist. The soft-rock Christian station plays in the background. I wish they'd play the more alternative Christian station...but that might mess up their precision with their instruments. Made me think about what brands of music are "unoffensive".....well looking for a lack of curse words, hmmm instrumental? Christian? oldies? But this is Texas, so Christian music it is. Probably anywhere else in the country and Christian music might be offensive.
I wonder if they only hire Christian people here? Do they pray in the morning? hmmm the blurring of the sacred and profane......
I love my dentist. They are the nicest people, all of them. Most everyone working there has been there for the 11 years I've gone there. The dentist and his main secretary are the uncles of one of my friends from high school...and fancy that, they're related to the family who is the mayor. Oh, Southlake politics. The family has a major road named after them.
Again the blurring of the lines of religion, though. For instance, my mayor, barely involved in my church, sang at my church at the post-September 11th service held to comfort people and pray for others. I remember feeling somewhat troubled by this. I'm not sure if I had some idea that religion and politics shouldn't mix....or what it was. Its funny though, pretty much any politician looking to get elected in this town must very publically (in flyers sent in the mail normally) announce their church membership, ususally to our church or the other mega church.
But back to the dentist. The soft-rock Christian station plays in the background. I wish they'd play the more alternative Christian station...but that might mess up their precision with their instruments. Made me think about what brands of music are "unoffensive".....well looking for a lack of curse words, hmmm instrumental? Christian? oldies? But this is Texas, so Christian music it is. Probably anywhere else in the country and Christian music might be offensive.
I wonder if they only hire Christian people here? Do they pray in the morning? hmmm the blurring of the sacred and profane......
Monday, May 22, 2006
Settling into Summer
Going from my normal life speed, which is generally crazy busy to summer mode, or home mode is always difficult. First I feel like I'm lonely, maybe I need to call friends or find someone to hang out with.
This generally leads to me doing somewhat odd stuff like deciding that I will go alone to some sort of church event. Yesterday it was the May single's mixer at church, a dinner before some sort of concert at church. My mom had actually signed me up. Well, thinking this would be a place to at least hang out with some of the church staff, seeing as no one really from the college-age group does anything, I sucked it up and went. No one else came. I ate with the band.
So then after a slightly awkward social encounter, I usually retreat. During this time period I'm too shy to call anyone to do anything. Yea, I'm still somewhat bored or lonely...but by this point, I'd rather watch movies (which I generally can't sit through) or read rather than take the chance to call anyone. Not to mention I hate talking on the phone.
So here I sit in that weird balancing state, wanting to be social or busy or something.....but feeling the tug to sit out in the backyard by the pool or workout or just watch old bad tv. Summer breeds a strange brand of laziness.....or maybe just anxiety.
Regardless, I've really done quite a bit these past few days. Been to 2 concerts already, one in the biggest honkey-tonk cowboy bar I've been to in awhile. (WM, think Green Leafe size times 15 or 20). Got to check out the 25-30s singles scene.....I'm not sure if that will ever be my scene. Not sure if I can ever let myself dance like that......but someday surely that'll be what I do with friends, then it might be fun.
Had another brush with the 20s singles last night at church. Attempted a pre-concert dinner for the singles "may mixer," only to find out no one but me had signed up (this was a mixed blessing, thank God, no awkward conversations, realizing I was very different than most post-divorce 35-45 age "singles" at our church......what can I say? my mom signed me up). I hope at this age I can be identified my more than just my lack of marital status.
Other than that, joined a close-by gym for the month and had a nice lunch date with my mom to cheesecake factory today....getting used to being home.
This generally leads to me doing somewhat odd stuff like deciding that I will go alone to some sort of church event. Yesterday it was the May single's mixer at church, a dinner before some sort of concert at church. My mom had actually signed me up. Well, thinking this would be a place to at least hang out with some of the church staff, seeing as no one really from the college-age group does anything, I sucked it up and went. No one else came. I ate with the band.
So then after a slightly awkward social encounter, I usually retreat. During this time period I'm too shy to call anyone to do anything. Yea, I'm still somewhat bored or lonely...but by this point, I'd rather watch movies (which I generally can't sit through) or read rather than take the chance to call anyone. Not to mention I hate talking on the phone.
So here I sit in that weird balancing state, wanting to be social or busy or something.....but feeling the tug to sit out in the backyard by the pool or workout or just watch old bad tv. Summer breeds a strange brand of laziness.....or maybe just anxiety.
Regardless, I've really done quite a bit these past few days. Been to 2 concerts already, one in the biggest honkey-tonk cowboy bar I've been to in awhile. (WM, think Green Leafe size times 15 or 20). Got to check out the 25-30s singles scene.....I'm not sure if that will ever be my scene. Not sure if I can ever let myself dance like that......but someday surely that'll be what I do with friends, then it might be fun.
Had another brush with the 20s singles last night at church. Attempted a pre-concert dinner for the singles "may mixer," only to find out no one but me had signed up (this was a mixed blessing, thank God, no awkward conversations, realizing I was very different than most post-divorce 35-45 age "singles" at our church......what can I say? my mom signed me up). I hope at this age I can be identified my more than just my lack of marital status.
Other than that, joined a close-by gym for the month and had a nice lunch date with my mom to cheesecake factory today....getting used to being home.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Home in the Lone Star State!
5/20I love Texas. A world all its own. I struggle so much here though if I’m in nostalgia or heaven. Wow what a different world life is here. It’s nice to be pampered though. I come home and suddenly I am the owner of a new credit card, gym membership….and my parents also gave me about 10 gift certificates (my brother’s Christmas gifts he never bothered to use). But hey, means I get some free trips to American Eagle, Jamba Juice, Chipotle, Starbucks, about 3 movie theaters, and a thrift store. Wow. I’m set.
Our recreated “town square” has opened up another phase since I’ve been home last. Now we’ve got some sort of arbor-like fountain area surrounded by such exciting stores as J Crew, Coach, Barnes and Noble, Cheesecake Factory, Toll House Cookies (huh?), and about 20 others. Classy. Geez, consumerism is going to take me over.
In other good news, the period of freezing at Rockbridge is over. It’s now a pleasant 95-100 degrees everyday which makes for wonderful Texas summer nights at about 80 degrees. And really, I do think that's fairly pleasant. I love Texas. Let me say that again. I love Texas.
Our recreated “town square” has opened up another phase since I’ve been home last. Now we’ve got some sort of arbor-like fountain area surrounded by such exciting stores as J Crew, Coach, Barnes and Noble, Cheesecake Factory, Toll House Cookies (huh?), and about 20 others. Classy. Geez, consumerism is going to take me over.
In other good news, the period of freezing at Rockbridge is over. It’s now a pleasant 95-100 degrees everyday which makes for wonderful Texas summer nights at about 80 degrees. And really, I do think that's fairly pleasant. I love Texas. Let me say that again. I love Texas.
A Long Trip Before Home
5/10-5/19
So traveling again. A wonderful night trip around Washington DC and Northern Virginia with Sara. We practically swam to get to a neat coffee shop somewhere around there. I just know I’d been there before with another “native.”
Next came a day shadowing interns at a place I might want to go after I graduate. That was an interesting and long day. It’s amazing how many people in Washington are willing to work for free. I’m not sure I get it yet.
A couple of days with Alex before she goes off the France for the next year. That was great to spend some solid time together and really get a chance to get to know her family even better. We talk for hours. It’s amazing to see who she’s become.
Next I went onto Rockbridge camp with InterVarsity. While this week was not exactly earth-shattering or pivotal, it was wonderful to have a few days to spend with some of my best friends in a relaxed place.
I took this mini-class (like 3-4) days called Kingdom Living. Kind of like discussing what it means to live properly in God’s Kingdom, that one coming on earth. Some of the topical sessions included multiethnicity, sexuality, wealth& justice, and politics. We also did a great study of the sermon on the mount. I am continually impressed with the way Intervarsity handles difficult issues.
So traveling again. A wonderful night trip around Washington DC and Northern Virginia with Sara. We practically swam to get to a neat coffee shop somewhere around there. I just know I’d been there before with another “native.”
Next came a day shadowing interns at a place I might want to go after I graduate. That was an interesting and long day. It’s amazing how many people in Washington are willing to work for free. I’m not sure I get it yet.
A couple of days with Alex before she goes off the France for the next year. That was great to spend some solid time together and really get a chance to get to know her family even better. We talk for hours. It’s amazing to see who she’s become.
Next I went onto Rockbridge camp with InterVarsity. While this week was not exactly earth-shattering or pivotal, it was wonderful to have a few days to spend with some of my best friends in a relaxed place.
I took this mini-class (like 3-4) days called Kingdom Living. Kind of like discussing what it means to live properly in God’s Kingdom, that one coming on earth. Some of the topical sessions included multiethnicity, sexuality, wealth& justice, and politics. We also did a great study of the sermon on the mount. I am continually impressed with the way Intervarsity handles difficult issues.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Visiting Christian Hippies #1
5/9
Wow, has it been an intense 48 hours. The people of this community. Well at first I didn’t think they would like me, I was too naïve, or too much of a girl at a rock concert for her favorite band; however, being aware, and really deathly afraid of coming off as this girl, I instead tried to play it somewhat cool. However, this is a hard task to do when you are constantly having to ask questions, but for sociological reasons, of course. Well, there are some odd lifestyle points that do stick out to me that I found particularly challenging. For one, the place is always clean. For some reason, the like to keep all the doors to rooms open, meaning the beds must be more than made. This could be difficult. Doable, though I’m sure. I was relieved to find that it really seemed like everyone showered every day. However, one guy was definitely wearing exactly the same outfit the second day. It was an extraordinary outfit, tunic, and cut out finger gloves and all, but wow! Another interesting point—of those who talk about dating in the house, they are both engaged to either seminary students or people living in similar communities, aren’t these people all of the same breed? A little weird? Do they have any other friends? I wonder if this lifestyle repeals people.
I have had a semi-revelation, well at least for a day. I was going to buy an ipod this summer for this project but convictions I gathered from my time here that I did not really “need” this frivolous item. Besides, trying to be someone to engage with the people around me, is difficult to do with head phones in your head.
Wow, has it been an intense 48 hours. The people of this community. Well at first I didn’t think they would like me, I was too naïve, or too much of a girl at a rock concert for her favorite band; however, being aware, and really deathly afraid of coming off as this girl, I instead tried to play it somewhat cool. However, this is a hard task to do when you are constantly having to ask questions, but for sociological reasons, of course. Well, there are some odd lifestyle points that do stick out to me that I found particularly challenging. For one, the place is always clean. For some reason, the like to keep all the doors to rooms open, meaning the beds must be more than made. This could be difficult. Doable, though I’m sure. I was relieved to find that it really seemed like everyone showered every day. However, one guy was definitely wearing exactly the same outfit the second day. It was an extraordinary outfit, tunic, and cut out finger gloves and all, but wow! Another interesting point—of those who talk about dating in the house, they are both engaged to either seminary students or people living in similar communities, aren’t these people all of the same breed? A little weird? Do they have any other friends? I wonder if this lifestyle repeals people.
I have had a semi-revelation, well at least for a day. I was going to buy an ipod this summer for this project but convictions I gathered from my time here that I did not really “need” this frivolous item. Besides, trying to be someone to engage with the people around me, is difficult to do with head phones in your head.
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