Settling into Summer

Going from my normal life speed, which is generally crazy busy to summer mode, or home mode is always difficult. First I feel like I'm lonely, maybe I need to call friends or find someone to hang out with.
This generally leads to me doing somewhat odd stuff like deciding that I will go alone to some sort of church event. Yesterday it was the May single's mixer at church, a dinner before some sort of concert at church. My mom had actually signed me up. Well, thinking this would be a place to at least hang out with some of the church staff, seeing as no one really from the college-age group does anything, I sucked it up and went. No one else came. I ate with the band.

So then after a slightly awkward social encounter, I usually retreat. During this time period I'm too shy to call anyone to do anything. Yea, I'm still somewhat bored or lonely...but by this point, I'd rather watch movies (which I generally can't sit through) or read rather than take the chance to call anyone. Not to mention I hate talking on the phone.

So here I sit in that weird balancing state, wanting to be social or busy or something.....but feeling the tug to sit out in the backyard by the pool or workout or just watch old bad tv. Summer breeds a strange brand of laziness.....or maybe just anxiety.

Regardless, I've really done quite a bit these past few days. Been to 2 concerts already, one in the biggest honkey-tonk cowboy bar I've been to in awhile. (WM, think Green Leafe size times 15 or 20). Got to check out the 25-30s singles scene.....I'm not sure if that will ever be my scene. Not sure if I can ever let myself dance like that......but someday surely that'll be what I do with friends, then it might be fun.

Had another brush with the 20s singles last night at church. Attempted a pre-concert dinner for the singles "may mixer," only to find out no one but me had signed up (this was a mixed blessing, thank God, no awkward conversations, realizing I was very different than most post-divorce 35-45 age "singles" at our church......what can I say? my mom signed me up). I hope at this age I can be identified my more than just my lack of marital status.

Other than that, joined a close-by gym for the month and had a nice lunch date with my mom to cheesecake factory today....getting used to being home.