Sunday, October 28, 2007

Jim Meets Leadership Theory

The character "Jim" from the Office: who is he? how does he fit in with Leadership models and culture, where are Christian fellowships missing students like him?

OK. So in August a fellow InterVarsity staff said that many students now want to be like the character Jim from the office--Jim isn't the boss, he doesn't make too many waves, he's an opinion leader and a generally funny and likeable guy. However is Jim a leader? What would need to change to empower Jim to be a leader?

This contrasts with another form of leadership, a more traditonal leadership model when in (at least dominant culture)....leaders are those who take risks in public, speak for groups, have a lot of self-initiative and change the direction of a group. That's probably an incomplete model....but in contrast to Jim, a way of seeing leaders as those who continue to "stick their neck out" and put themselves away from the crowd.

I believe many first year students are somewhat like Jim. When I visited last week at William and Mary several students talked about lacking the general motivation to overly involved in much of anything on campus---not only Christian organizations but also fun events or seemingly-interesting sounding campus lectures. They hear about them, they sound good---but then somehow they lacks the motivation. It seems much better to hang around where you are known, loved and well respected among dorm friends.

I think we all have times where we're like the character Jim. Many of my friends in college were like this. They valued time with one another over most everything else--organizational involvment, grades, "outside" relationships. I think this was a good lesson for me in commitment. Probably the Jims of the world--as I stretch the metaphor to oblivion--are very good husbands, fathers, friends?

This must be clarified---to be like Jim is not bad!!! The character of Jim represents a different kind of student, thus who will be a different kind of leader.

But what do we do with this person? InterVarsity and similar organizations have a strong focus on leadership development. But really--when we sit back and think critically about this type of leadership development--it's under the guise that almost anyone can be a leader.

So what kind of leader is the character Jim? Not just how he acts currently---but how could he be grown and molded into a more effective leader? Not one that would look like the boss of the group who was constantly sticking his neck out looking like a fool--but a leader that would be more true to Jim's personality? How do organizations first get someone like Jim involved (remember, he'd rather spend time with those he knows, trusts, cares for)...and retain his membership. What programming and focus makes him interested?


Where's the intersection here though? A friend of mine is doing a study on leadership development, in particular including a case study on a christian leadership conference. The theorized that maybe we have it all messed up--Christians go to leadership conferences really for reasons of personal development rather than for leadership skills. It makes them feel good--but also just focuses on making us all better individuals, more self-aware. It's all about the cultural fascination with the idea of the "self."

So we have: Jim....then traditional enterprenurial leader.
---are these a false dichotomy?
---two different people?
---part of a development continuum?
---do we culturally value or assert one over the other? In different situations?

Does Jim represent the "Bowling Alone" (famous book written recently) theory that Americans now would rather write a check to charity than participate in a bowling league?


SOOOO if everyone can be a leader....what kind of leader will Jim become?

A Prayer Place: Fall Conference 2007

I just came back from our InterVarsity Fall Conference. We had about 150 students from various DC schools come together in the colorful hills of Virginia to hear a speaker talk about Christian living--yes, it sounds broad, but it was about that broad. But not to say that was bad--he just did a really great job of hitting all fascets of Christian life--personal, justice, DC issues, school work, relationships. He spoke for each of four sessions on different Biblical people--Daniel, Ester, Ezra, and Ezekiel.

I got a little push feeling from God a few weeks ago to contribute something to the weekend. Each InterVarsity staff person from the area attends the conference and between us we do a lot of the "putting together" of the details--one person volunteers to put on the coffee, another volunteers to gather books to sell, another organizes the worship team. As the new person, I didn't volunteer for anything.

But I felt like God was wanting me to put together a "prayer room" for the weekend. I've been really blessed by prayer rooms before both at the Urbana missions conference and Orientation for new staff put on by InterVarsity. In a prayer room--well mostly it's set aside as a guaranteed quiet place to meet God. Others have gone before and prayed a lot in the room.

However, it's also a place to set aside some other forms of prayer. I gathered pillows, blankets, art supplies and candles from several staff members for this portion. The candles allowed students to light a reminder of God--or several reminders of God even. Pillows and blankets allowed students to literally "rest" with God if necessary. I also gathered art supplies. Students could write out verses, make a clay model, or create a piece of art to God. Several wrote out bible verses or prayer--complete with visual reprentations. Crosses, crowns, birds, fires, hands, hearts.

We also put up some poster boards--one with "God is" and space to add on the names of God. One with Psalm 100 and space to add things we were thankful for. Another with a generic prayer request and space to add on post-it note names and places.


Overall, I was very pleased with the outcome. Many students--especially those who were less familiar with the idea of a "quiet time" or prayer I think really found sollace in the ability to "do" prayer rather than have their mind wander or sit confused. I hope to be able to put something like it together again.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Two way Street?

The other day I let a student buy me coffee.

This isn't how these things are supposed to go--as part of my fundraising for InterVarsity, I have an expense account which I can use to take students out for coffee, lunch, buy snacks for our evening meetings, etc. Essentially, I'm supposed to be giving towards them in many ways--food, time, my love, thoughts and care.

But when she offered--I accepted. Why? Because I think I'm needing to learn some lessons about reciprocity, especially in relationships where I often want to just be the giver, rather than the receiver.

This applies to my life on many levels. On campus, I'm struggling a lot with finding that line of vulnerability/friendship/divulgance with students I didn't ever have a peer relationship with--at a school unfamiliar to me. How much do I share with them? How can I expect them to share with me when I won't talk about myself? Of course, those who know me, know I'm probably more likely to fall into saying too much rather than too little on this front.
But maybe I'm not being as open as I could be on campus, open to being blessed by students and letting them do for me.

However, when I was doing my honors thesis research I think God did a lot of work on me about receiving gifts from others. While I expected to go and listen, research and learn from each community--I never expected to be treated so well, cared for and given hospitality to the extent i was. I learned to humbly allow others to serve me much more than I had before.

But it also applies in my neighborhood. When I sit back and take a hard look at myself and my motivations. I see that often I am much more comfortable with a charity relationship with those in poverty. I give, they receive, we understand our roles and everyone goes home relatively unchanged. However, I think I'm missing something there. Before I can hope to sincerly give to others around me, especially where i live where racial and economic divisions are pronounced--I need to become familiar with a friendship, two-way relationship with those around me. What that would look like? I'm not quite sure yet. But probably rather than dolling out money or volunteer hours--it would mean asking to borrow things from neighbors, telling them my stories. Essentially the way that relatonships naturally develop.....or something like that.

Getting a Car?

Lately--at the prompting of friends, coworkers and close advisors I've been seriously considering acquiring a car.
I got back from a weekend to Williamsburg where a good friend lent me his car for the weekend. Not only was I able to stay much longer than usual--I also had the freedom of leaving at 8:30pm Friday night, and arriving in Williamsburg in almost 2 hours! During the weekend I got to see some missionary friends from Louisiana in Richmond--without the car, this wouldn't have happened.

This is something that's left me very conflicted....let me explain.

Reasons in the pro-column:
-It would ease my commute back home late nights from campus from about 1.5 hours to about 20 minutes. This would be safer sometimes--but also just improve general quality of life. Getting home at 10:30pm is much more pleasant than 12am in terms of my sleep.
-But also the sheer blessing that a car can be to others--I find often the only thing I ever need to ask others for is a ride. With a car, I could be very giving with the car--allowing students to borrow it, giving people rides to target, carrying supplies to campus, moving things from the house.

However, many reasons some together that convict me about not getting a car...
--Cost. I find it to be an issue of stewardship right now with my resources. Having a car would likely raise my monthly expenses by at least 33%--currently I have that money to spend. I probably would still end up taking the metro to work most days so that money would not necessarily all be rechannelled.
--Having my own vehicle--like the other 3 vehicles our hosue already has, would in some ways only allow me to be even more independent and evade community, getting to come and go as I please.
--parking. In georgetown, parking near campus I'd literally have to move the car every 2 hours to avoid getting a parking ticket--on a day-to-day basis this is simply not practical.
--I moved to the city to avoid having a car--at the cost of higher rent, inconvenient parking.
--Environmental issues--I am concerned about the witness of just adding another carbon dioxide producing box to the system--shouldn't I be instead buying into these systems like zipcar or things like that?
--This weekend I got to borrow a car--there are many instances, where I could enter into similar car sharing arrangements with others. This would keep us likely more dependent on others and would better utilize a resource that every single person doesn't necessarily have to own for themselves.

Just some of the thoughts swimming in my head, please add an other thoughts in the pro or con box.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Quote on Proximity and Stereotyping

I've been thinking a lot about race. It's something I'd normally not want to mention on this forum--despite my life experiences and readings, etc that have equipped me to be more comfortable talking about race....I still feel that American desire to ignore the issues, be embarassed to talk about it--or try to convince myself it "doesn't really matter anymore." However, I know this is a lie.

I've been reading a blook, "Blink" about how we should often trust our first instinct on decisions, learn to understand our snapshot thinking and hone it. Part of honing it is recognizing when our first thought is being shapped by stereotypes and judgment rather than skilled information intake.

This quote made me think about some of my aims living where I live....

"Our first impressions are generated by our experiences and our environment, which means that we can change our first impressions--we can alter the way we thin-slice--by changing the experiences that comprise those impressions.

If you are a white person who would like to treat black poeple as equals in every way--who would like to have a set of associations with black s that are as positive as those that you have with whites--it requres more than a simple commitment to equality. It requires that you change your life so that you are exposed to minorities on a regular basis and become comfortable with them and familiar with the best of their culture, so that when you want to meet, hire, date,or talk with a member of a minority, you aren't betrayed by your hesitation and discomfort.

Taking rapid cognition seriously--acknowledging the incredible power, for good and ill, that first impressions play in our lives--requires that we take active steps to manage and control those impressions."
-Malcolm Gladwell, p. 98

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

I love you THIS much

This week all the first three-year InterVarsity staff in our region (PA, Delaware, DC, Maryland) came together for a 2.5 day conference/training time. It’s called New Staff Training.

As with many InterVarsity staff events, we began with personal reflection time. At first this practice appeared a little quick to me—getting serious and spiritual from the beginning instead of waiting until the end when people’s lives had been changed by messages, ideas, etc. But now, we enter the time here hopefully centered in God and—for many of us this kind of reflection time acts as our time to do “our business” with God before engaging any other topic. Normally they give us an idea/passage to prompt us….and then give us about 1.5 hours alone with the Lord.

Today we were given 1 Thessalonians 1 which is a chapter where Paul writes to the Thessalonians about how much he loves and values them—and he gets specific. He values their works prompted by faith, labor from love, things like that.

We were then give the prompt to consider who in our lives would talk about us this way. Mentors? Spiritual guides from early in our lives? Who would pray for us in this way—thank God for us? What would they say about us?

For me, several names came up right away—a woman who’d worked at our church at home, the staff worker at William and Mary and Bangkok, a girl who’d mentored me through college. People who had watched me grow, prayed for me and I knew took a lot of joy in me. On a different plane, I’d also put my parents into this.

We were then supposed to think---wow, well these “human encouragers”—what they were/are thinking and praying about us this way was possible because they saw us through God’s eyes. What if God felt this way about us? What if God took that kind of joy in us or gave thanks for us similarly?

I had a difficult time entertaining that thought—it was hard to place myself into the shoes of those who had cared for me. Instead, I found it much easier to think on those people who I had watched grow and learn from God. I found it much easier to understand and identify with the emotions and desires I had for their lives than to consider how others thought that way of me.

During my time at William and Mary I was given several special relationships—people who I got to closely watch God work in their lives, develop them as people and transform their character. When I think of them still—I well-up with love and excitement. I love them with a love that I can’t understand, a love that supersedes what I probably thought possible. I smile when they come to mind.

I started listing the characteristics of how I felt about these people……
-deeply involved in their lives
-loved, cared for them, sought ways to serve them, cried with and for them
-believed in their potential
-strong desire for them to meet others I love…..and to understand/experience things that bring me joy or I’m particularly passionate about
-prioritizing their relationship over others
-eagerly listening to their thoughts and reflections
-patiently waited for them, waiting when pushed away, when meeting stubbornness
-keeping no list of wrongs/short list mentality—not holding any kind of grudge
-unchanging in my feelings, love not held in their performance, negative actions didn’t change that I loved them
-fight for their good, defend them when they’re not there
-searching out opportunities for their betterment
-willingness to go out of my way/look like a fool to demonstrate my love for them

And it hit me—hard. God had given me a bit of a glimpse into how he felt about these individuals, how He loved them very deeply. Possibly how a parent loves a child. And when I reflect that this isn’t exactly how God loves these people either---it’s only a very, small, small slice. My love is imperfect, often self-serving and ignorant of these people’s real needs. But God’s love is flawless and unchanging.

So step back……and consider that all these characteristics are instead a list of how God loves and cares for me. What if God felt these emotions about me? And not just when I did really “good” or had a sinless moment—but instead all the time—when I messed up, was really stubborn, or said hateful things to HIM?

Wow. Pretty radical, crazy love that is.

How does it change a person to be loved with that kind of love?

Sunday, October 07, 2007

The Spiritual Discipline of Picking up Trash

Yesterday several Georgetown students came into my neighborhood to do a trash clean up.

At first I'd tried to be fancy--I called all the formal area Watershed societies and tried to set up something official, something where they would send out a staff member to share information with us. Hopefully then we'd also get a very neat project--something where we could feel accomplished at the end and really help change the place.

But in the end all the societies were booked for the date I needed to choose--and I felt God leading me again and again to simply go out and pick up trash on the street.

Several reasons--it's simple. It's also very needed--there is often---as we found trash bags full of litter lining just one of our neighborhood streets. I think it's also a lesson in humility. For one---we're cleaning up a mess we didn't make. One person reflected that this happens at Georgetown all the time--someone else cleans up our mess that they didn't make!

But one of the most significant things I find about picking up trash is that it's completely overwhelming. You can never be done. And if you are---well in two days the problem will look just like it does now again. I think it's a great lesson for social activists. A good reminder--you can make a small dent in a social problem--hunger, poverty, homelessness.......but at the end of the day, the problem is still daunting, and will likely resurface when you stop paying attention.

I don't see this as a reason to lose hope--except hope in ourselves as saviors of the world and instead to reconsider our means of social activism and social change to reflect the reality of Christ's ability to be the only one to really change the world--even if through us sometimes.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Nikki!

One of my best friends from middle school/high school/life has been "studying away" from UTexas Arlington this semester in Washington DC.

I'm sooo thankful to have her here. We've gotten to do a lot great things together--she's seen my house, I've seen her's. She came to my birthday party, we've been to a festival, and 2 concerts.

She's been the saving grace of my social life this semester.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Training Events

The past two days we've been to InterVarsity area training events.

Monday all the area InterVarsity staff members (from DC, Baltimore, Northern Virginia area) came to Baltimore for speaker training. We were each supposed to come with a prepared talk ready to give, manuscript in hand.

It was great to have the ability to focus for a whole day--I find often in staff life that we're trying to balance the needs and intiatives of an entire group of people--the fellowship. Finding time to give a whole day to something like speaking seems otherwise impossible.

We also talked about important issues--how to communicate Biblical truth about God in a way that's memorable. When we were students, what did we remember? We talked about bumper sticker phrases and concepts that stick out to us ("friends plus"...."chest of drawers"...."spiritual bulimia"). These things conjure up ideas and images for us. Using these will help our students learn....and also doesn't place all the pressure on us. One of the most important issues we discussed was who are we trying to glorify? Us? or God? When we're glorifying God in a talk--we're less likely to have to be showy or worry about being funny, likeable, etc.


This was good. Tuesday was also a good day of staff training. We met in our "area teams"--for me this meant meeting at my boss in Maryland's house along with the other 11 DC-area staff (from George Washington University, University of Maryland, Howard University, NOVA, St. Mary's). We talked about how New Student Orientation had gone, hopes for changes to make in the future.
Next--as is the InterVarsity staff way--we did scripture study. This lasted until lunch time. We studied from Genesis about Jacob---when God forms a covenant with him about the land--and when Jacob wrestles with God.
The ultimate question we came to pray about was "where in our personal relationships with God are we wrestling?"....meaning, where are we in a struggle with God, wanting for something in our lives to change--demanding that God bless us. The exciting thing was that God honors Jacob in his stubbornness and wrestling, demanding of the blessing, still blessing him and making a promise to be with him and not leave him.
For many of us it related to personal issues with staying in the job, romantic relationships, or uncertainty about placement or calling. I think I answered that I felt like I was wrestling with God over most of my life right now--the transition and hoping that God will meet me in my struggle, show me blessing and help it to work out.

The afternoon was a bit different. We talked about plans for our fall conference coming up, divided up responsibilities. We talked about potential scripture passages to choose for the spring conference.

Then we just got some significant time to pray for our campuses--specific students, issues where we felt we were wrestling with God.

By the evening we were all back to our campuses for Tuesday evening large groups. It was great to have the time away though--to get some perspective on the movement at large--but also to refocus that it's all about God's work on campus, not our own.