So this Monday, in the spirit of trying to take only 12 credits this semester, I decided I would try out another 1-credit course. My goal originally was to get 3 1credit classes....and that would take the place of a regular 3-hr class.
So I have percussion ensemble, pilates/conditioning, America in the World--a seminar class that meets 4 times, and now Performance Art Ensemble. So yes, that's actually 4 1-credit courses. I want to get rid of one--but the one I want to be rid of--well its the one I should probably stay in the most.
I went to Performance Art Ensemble Monday night from 7 to 9:30pm, expecting to get some pointers on how to be a better musician--even getting to work with dancers, etc...but all in the context of me behind my marimba.....and without having to really do much more work. The goal here was to score some for-sure practice time for my upcoming solo performance later this spring.
However, this is not what I encountered. This class has about 20 people in it, who for one, all appear to be friends with one another--but also are very artsy-performing types. This I am not, I am a shy and reserved---well largely inhibited person. Normally this doesn't embarass me--I don't dance much, I don't make loud displays of myself. And I consider this to be my personality. And to be ok.
So here's what we had to do--first, everyone says why they're in the class. Some people are there because of music,....well me and like 1 other person, but most are there because of general art interests in certain movements, etc. I tell them now that i am shy--just to get my comment out there for my own benefit at least. Next, we need to get into partners and do something that's relatively easy that will shock people, this....well not so easy for me. I don't think on my feet. So my partner drops his pants, exposing his boxers....shocking. I sit and well do nothing. It didn't differ too much from the other displays.
The most intense part of the class we worked individually--and had to consider something that we did not like to talk about, made us uncomfortable or we didn't like. And then we had to get up and talk about it nonstop for 1 minute. This was very interesting--we had confessions of love affairs, people confronting others in the class, talk about poo, orgasms, and myself talking about why I was afraid of taking this class. That it made me embarassed that I couldn't just be free and let go and do stupid things---and its one of the things I least like to talk about--who wants to admit that they're not laid back and cool?
But what about when I'm thrown into a situation that causes me to have to reconsider that part of myself--maybe I need to learn to be able to let it loose sometimes, act and be silly a little---and in the context of performance, being vulnerable to criticism....instead of just around friends as I would usually consider myself to be silly or uninhibited.
This class began to represent much of what I have spent my past 3.5 years being validated at NOT being...I am organized, scheduled, precise, opinionated--and well, put together. I have succeeded at doing the right things, at the right times....and climbing the social and otherwise campus ladder in other ways. But this was all called into question--the fact that I have an excell spreadsheet of my life---well, that will not make me a more successful student in this class. I'd venture ot say I'm the only one in there who walks around with such a thing.
SO I'm not completely sold--in some ways it feels like a waste of time, like an immature use of 2.5 hours....but I know that it will challenge me deeply to sit through this weekly....and stand up and put myself out there, attempt to act, or speak or sing......it will be hard. So maybe I should take it......even if it does require me to be in 13 credits instead of 12.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Back at school
Gosh this keeping up with this blog thing is harder than I thought it'd be.
Well school has started.
I can't decide for the life of me what classes to take....to be honest, I'm currently signed up for 20 hours...I need to keep 12. That's just sad. I am feeling very indecisive. Maybe its that senior feeling that I need to make the most of all of my opportunities while I'm still an undergraduate.
Oh boy, how nostaligic I'm already beginning to sound.
----
Well recently I've also had a sort of "freak out" point on my major. Feeling maybe....in lieu of the LSAT that, considering my career goals (as if I know what they are), maybe I choose the wrong major. ). I really do believe in no regrets though....so I guess I'm more considering whether I'm going in the right direction for further studies.
An excerpt from that discussion....
I've come to realize I am not very good at the LSAT, or for now about 1/2 of it. Some have said this kind of training came through philosophy classes or something like that. --And of course it brings the subsequent jokes from friends of mine who are preparing for the exam with me and consistently making 10-15 points higher than I am, that I have chosen a "fluff" major and that my "knowledge" is not really "knowledge" at all.
This lead me to questioning the "value" of my sociology training.
But in terms of the "value" of a sociology education...
Do people often question sociology because it studies current life often, and leaves students examining their daily practices. I tend to think of sociology more as a way of rethinking what we already "know"--less of craming information as other disciplines might be.
Of course, sociology though has lead me to check out tons of books over breaks, read lots of case studies which give me a chance to get more "concrete" realistic type knowledge. But if we're just learning how to think...and I'd say the greatest lessons I've learned from William and Mary in sociology are critical thinking skills...does that make us "less" than the other disciplines?
I'm walking away from college with a lot less knowledge on specific social policy or laws or history than I believed I would...but I think I'm going to also have a different lens to encounter what I will in the future. It came up last year when I was applying for that Truman scholarship as well, realizing that I didn't have much to offer to a public policy perspective. I couldn't quote charity giving by Americans or propose a sound policy idea. And I wonder if other disciplines offer some kind of "training" that leads other people to feel confident doing that.
------
is it a midlife crisis?
or maybe just test anxiety to an extreme.........
or just senior year regrets or 2nd thoughts...........
hmmm
Well school has started.
I can't decide for the life of me what classes to take....to be honest, I'm currently signed up for 20 hours...I need to keep 12. That's just sad. I am feeling very indecisive. Maybe its that senior feeling that I need to make the most of all of my opportunities while I'm still an undergraduate.
Oh boy, how nostaligic I'm already beginning to sound.
----
Well recently I've also had a sort of "freak out" point on my major. Feeling maybe....in lieu of the LSAT that, considering my career goals (as if I know what they are), maybe I choose the wrong major. ). I really do believe in no regrets though....so I guess I'm more considering whether I'm going in the right direction for further studies.
An excerpt from that discussion....
I've come to realize I am not very good at the LSAT, or for now about 1/2 of it. Some have said this kind of training came through philosophy classes or something like that. --And of course it brings the subsequent jokes from friends of mine who are preparing for the exam with me and consistently making 10-15 points higher than I am, that I have chosen a "fluff" major and that my "knowledge" is not really "knowledge" at all.
This lead me to questioning the "value" of my sociology training.
But in terms of the "value" of a sociology education...
Do people often question sociology because it studies current life often, and leaves students examining their daily practices. I tend to think of sociology more as a way of rethinking what we already "know"--less of craming information as other disciplines might be.
Of course, sociology though has lead me to check out tons of books over breaks, read lots of case studies which give me a chance to get more "concrete" realistic type knowledge. But if we're just learning how to think...and I'd say the greatest lessons I've learned from William and Mary in sociology are critical thinking skills...does that make us "less" than the other disciplines?
I'm walking away from college with a lot less knowledge on specific social policy or laws or history than I believed I would...but I think I'm going to also have a different lens to encounter what I will in the future. It came up last year when I was applying for that Truman scholarship as well, realizing that I didn't have much to offer to a public policy perspective. I couldn't quote charity giving by Americans or propose a sound policy idea. And I wonder if other disciplines offer some kind of "training" that leads other people to feel confident doing that.
------
is it a midlife crisis?
or maybe just test anxiety to an extreme.........
or just senior year regrets or 2nd thoughts...........
hmmm
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Absent
Well, to me, at least its been awhile since I've written on this blog....however, 3 days, of course that isn't that long.
Life's been moving a little slower around here.
This past weekend my grandmother died. I haven't had any idea what to say, because, well first, what is there to say? And second, while this is a place for personal thoughts, when I've got my family and others related watching, I feel reluctant to pour out my heart.
She's had alzheimer's most of my teenage-and-plus life, making it difficult to remember the person that she was, or her specific personality. And in someways this lacks the total-life interruption some deaths have brought to our family. But also this was sudden, when my grandfather died 7 years ago, it turned our lives upside down for at least a month. Sometimes, that feels more real.
Because of the crazed snow and ice winter weather hitting Texas this week, we've postponned the funeral--we're heading to Abilene (my parent's hometown) for a visitation and graveside service. It's been at least 2 years since I've been out there, and likely the next few times I go it will be for similar circumstances, funerals. Its a place that reminds me of older people, always associated with grandparents to me. But really, its West Texas in all its glory.
Life's been moving a little slower around here.
This past weekend my grandmother died. I haven't had any idea what to say, because, well first, what is there to say? And second, while this is a place for personal thoughts, when I've got my family and others related watching, I feel reluctant to pour out my heart.
She's had alzheimer's most of my teenage-and-plus life, making it difficult to remember the person that she was, or her specific personality. And in someways this lacks the total-life interruption some deaths have brought to our family. But also this was sudden, when my grandfather died 7 years ago, it turned our lives upside down for at least a month. Sometimes, that feels more real.
Because of the crazed snow and ice winter weather hitting Texas this week, we've postponned the funeral--we're heading to Abilene (my parent's hometown) for a visitation and graveside service. It's been at least 2 years since I've been out there, and likely the next few times I go it will be for similar circumstances, funerals. Its a place that reminds me of older people, always associated with grandparents to me. But really, its West Texas in all its glory.
Monday, January 15, 2007
Work, work, works
Sometimes I just get tired. And then I start to lose my passion for everything.....even those things I am supposedly most passionate about.
Not even a physical tiredness.....more of a soul-tiredness. I guess they'd call that being "weary."
Well I beginning to feel weary. I sometimes feel weary when I lack a lot of social interaction and changing atmosphere as well I notice.
I've been living a routine here. Up every morning about 8:15, make breakfast. Go to the gym, stay about 1.5 hours. Drive back....sit at computer all day long. Work on LSAT stuff for about 2-3 hours. Thesis in front of the fire for 3 or so hours. Making green tea all day life. Break out the wine with the family at 5, still working on the computer. Somtimes some TV at night. Physical therapy determines the rest of the day--funny when those become some of my most-seen people. Some shopping as well, trying to spend off the gift certificates.
Nikki came home yesterday. I was really thankful for the break in the routine. And just her joy for life. I long for having a good group of girls like her to live with.....and just have "girl time" regularly. One of my friends, he would call that an estrogen-fest or something like that. But girls know what i mean....sometimes our apartment dinner can be this way. Being around Catherine and Sara can be that for me too. Our small group. Girls sitting around, laughing......saying the honest things we don't tell anyone else.....not really deep, dark secrets......but more the funny little intricacies of life. It reminds me of my mom and her "quilt cult"--they get together weekly and just enjoy life and one another.
My last Beth Moore tape started with her saying this one was just a "woman thang"--in that Houston accent of hers. There is just sometimes a deep understanding and love amongst women. Of course sometimes we are awful and catty and hateful to one another....but I think that's been one of the redemptive things about becoming more of a "real Christian"--or a 2nd rebirth, whatever you'd call it.....in the past few years, learning to live with and love women.
that entry started about one thing and became about another.....I think in tangents sometimes...but its interesting to see my thoughts flow out onto the page.....its a cleansing process.
Not even a physical tiredness.....more of a soul-tiredness. I guess they'd call that being "weary."
Well I beginning to feel weary. I sometimes feel weary when I lack a lot of social interaction and changing atmosphere as well I notice.
I've been living a routine here. Up every morning about 8:15, make breakfast. Go to the gym, stay about 1.5 hours. Drive back....sit at computer all day long. Work on LSAT stuff for about 2-3 hours. Thesis in front of the fire for 3 or so hours. Making green tea all day life. Break out the wine with the family at 5, still working on the computer. Somtimes some TV at night. Physical therapy determines the rest of the day--funny when those become some of my most-seen people. Some shopping as well, trying to spend off the gift certificates.
Nikki came home yesterday. I was really thankful for the break in the routine. And just her joy for life. I long for having a good group of girls like her to live with.....and just have "girl time" regularly. One of my friends, he would call that an estrogen-fest or something like that. But girls know what i mean....sometimes our apartment dinner can be this way. Being around Catherine and Sara can be that for me too. Our small group. Girls sitting around, laughing......saying the honest things we don't tell anyone else.....not really deep, dark secrets......but more the funny little intricacies of life. It reminds me of my mom and her "quilt cult"--they get together weekly and just enjoy life and one another.
My last Beth Moore tape started with her saying this one was just a "woman thang"--in that Houston accent of hers. There is just sometimes a deep understanding and love amongst women. Of course sometimes we are awful and catty and hateful to one another....but I think that's been one of the redemptive things about becoming more of a "real Christian"--or a 2nd rebirth, whatever you'd call it.....in the past few years, learning to live with and love women.
that entry started about one thing and became about another.....I think in tangents sometimes...but its interesting to see my thoughts flow out onto the page.....its a cleansing process.
Friday, January 12, 2007
OLD-er people
Tonight we had dinner with our neighbors from across the street. Truly wonderful people. I'd say like grandparents--but really, maybe more like aunts and uncles. Come to find out one of them is 70 years old this year!
70, well it sounds old doesn't it? And when I say that, doesn't old sound bad? But really old of course is so incredibly relative--and more based on physical and emotional and mental capabilities--and disabilities than anything else (inherent bias there too).
But I was reminded again how much I value being friends with people, or at least close to people a generation--or even a good 10-years older than me. It reminded me of the long list--I feel compelled to publish this list sometime) of the people who challenged me and changed me this summer. From people only 4 years older...to people newly married in their early 30s to people my parent's age......to be in the more-equal company (differing from the true parent-child relationship) of older people--its a priviledge to be privy to their more private thoughts and wisdom.
To accomplish this goal, I hope to join a church that is either small enough where I can't get away without knowing older people....or forcing myself to spend intentional time with the older women my said-church. I can't wait to learn from older women.
Besides, they're always just so fun. Being in the company of older women always reminds me that my best times are those spent laughing and spending care-free time with groups of good girlfriends and women......yes, some would say estrogen...or just love and mutual understanding.
70, well it sounds old doesn't it? And when I say that, doesn't old sound bad? But really old of course is so incredibly relative--and more based on physical and emotional and mental capabilities--and disabilities than anything else (inherent bias there too).
But I was reminded again how much I value being friends with people, or at least close to people a generation--or even a good 10-years older than me. It reminded me of the long list--I feel compelled to publish this list sometime) of the people who challenged me and changed me this summer. From people only 4 years older...to people newly married in their early 30s to people my parent's age......to be in the more-equal company (differing from the true parent-child relationship) of older people--its a priviledge to be privy to their more private thoughts and wisdom.
To accomplish this goal, I hope to join a church that is either small enough where I can't get away without knowing older people....or forcing myself to spend intentional time with the older women my said-church. I can't wait to learn from older women.
Besides, they're always just so fun. Being in the company of older women always reminds me that my best times are those spent laughing and spending care-free time with groups of good girlfriends and women......yes, some would say estrogen...or just love and mutual understanding.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Where did they go?
Today my senior Bible study experience came to some form of full-circle--my senior in high school Bible study that is.
I was a part of my church's Senior bible study which is a special bible study the senior pastor holds in someone's home for about 20-50 seniors at a time. I went my senior year and felt like for the first time I was able to express some of my opinions about faith....and begin the process of "coming into my own" in terms of faith.
Also accompanying this bible study, I did a weekly group with about 5-6 other senior girls, today I saw one of them for the first time in about 4 years.
I'd contacted her because of facebook--found out she new people I'd studied in Durham this summer. The Lord had been working on her life, first bringing her to faith....and then beginning to give her a heart for urban ministry and caring for the inner-city. It was absolutely amazing to sit there and listen to God's faithfulness......and how it had worked out in her life. And of course, it was great to hear we had some similar passions, given our upbringing and home church.
This was also significant because I don't have many Christian friends at home with which to discuss issues of faith....I can talk issues of social justice to death....but to think of them in terms of God and the holy spirit working out fruits of change in our lives....well it hadn't been a part of my experience until college. It gave me so much hope to find someone here who spoke with that kind of conviction and obvious knowledge and personal experience with the Lord.
It often makes me feel so confident and inspired to see other Christians willing even to speak the name of Christ, or name the Lord....the LORD and to attribute action to him......because duh, he acts! But it takes a lot of courage to actually say that: "God is changing my life" "The Lord is doing a work inside my soul".......these can be very brave things to say.......often people think you're crazy........what kind of person talks about God that way........well someone who knows him and knows that he can do....that he can be the subject of a sentence and the do-er of a verb.
--------
Well then this evening I went with my senior in high school brother to our church's current senior bible study. It was so interesting to see these seniors living out so many of the similar experiences I had at that time......listening to the pastor give out his opinions......not too many people challenging what he says or asking too many questions......how different that seems from college to me sometimes.
I was a part of my church's Senior bible study which is a special bible study the senior pastor holds in someone's home for about 20-50 seniors at a time. I went my senior year and felt like for the first time I was able to express some of my opinions about faith....and begin the process of "coming into my own" in terms of faith.
Also accompanying this bible study, I did a weekly group with about 5-6 other senior girls, today I saw one of them for the first time in about 4 years.
I'd contacted her because of facebook--found out she new people I'd studied in Durham this summer. The Lord had been working on her life, first bringing her to faith....and then beginning to give her a heart for urban ministry and caring for the inner-city. It was absolutely amazing to sit there and listen to God's faithfulness......and how it had worked out in her life. And of course, it was great to hear we had some similar passions, given our upbringing and home church.
This was also significant because I don't have many Christian friends at home with which to discuss issues of faith....I can talk issues of social justice to death....but to think of them in terms of God and the holy spirit working out fruits of change in our lives....well it hadn't been a part of my experience until college. It gave me so much hope to find someone here who spoke with that kind of conviction and obvious knowledge and personal experience with the Lord.
It often makes me feel so confident and inspired to see other Christians willing even to speak the name of Christ, or name the Lord....the LORD and to attribute action to him......because duh, he acts! But it takes a lot of courage to actually say that: "God is changing my life" "The Lord is doing a work inside my soul".......these can be very brave things to say.......often people think you're crazy........what kind of person talks about God that way........well someone who knows him and knows that he can do....that he can be the subject of a sentence and the do-er of a verb.
--------
Well then this evening I went with my senior in high school brother to our church's current senior bible study. It was so interesting to see these seniors living out so many of the similar experiences I had at that time......listening to the pastor give out his opinions......not too many people challenging what he says or asking too many questions......how different that seems from college to me sometimes.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Muddling with Western Medicine
So for all of you who have seen me hobble around tiny-Tim style this semester.....taken me to get MRIs, X-rays (thank you janelle), or given me ice-packs or ankle braces......I think I have finally figured out the source of my pain.
As originially suspected, I do in fact have anterior compartment syndrome....often only found in cross country runners, I had a very successful trip to the physical therapist today which showed this. (basically my calf muscle was tight....caused the front shin to be tightened as well, pulls up the bottom of my foot and makes walking hurt....and in turn, all of it more tight and painful).
But why does having an "answer" signal completion to me? I just now have some actual stretches to do....and some more physical therapy before this all gets settled out. It is not complete at all.....I just now have some language to use.
Is it because of human nature's need for some sort of clarity....or is even that itself a western concept, looking for an "answer" or "diagnosis" that makes medicine into a I have a problem...you have an answer....boom, fixed! kind of mentality?
I have a lot of friends who think "alternatively" about medicine.....well as Donna Haraway would say.....or would that be some other crazed technocrat....?.......well to look at medicine outside of the scientific model or to get out mindset into thinking of medicine as just as faliable or potentially uncertain as any other "soft science" or thing in life.
I think before this time, I've felt like no one really understood me or was really listening to what was going on.....so maybe in that way this also touches on patient-doctor interactions....Well regardless.......I think there's an end to all this madness.
As originially suspected, I do in fact have anterior compartment syndrome....often only found in cross country runners, I had a very successful trip to the physical therapist today which showed this. (basically my calf muscle was tight....caused the front shin to be tightened as well, pulls up the bottom of my foot and makes walking hurt....and in turn, all of it more tight and painful).
But why does having an "answer" signal completion to me? I just now have some actual stretches to do....and some more physical therapy before this all gets settled out. It is not complete at all.....I just now have some language to use.
Is it because of human nature's need for some sort of clarity....or is even that itself a western concept, looking for an "answer" or "diagnosis" that makes medicine into a I have a problem...you have an answer....boom, fixed! kind of mentality?
I have a lot of friends who think "alternatively" about medicine.....well as Donna Haraway would say.....or would that be some other crazed technocrat....?.......well to look at medicine outside of the scientific model or to get out mindset into thinking of medicine as just as faliable or potentially uncertain as any other "soft science" or thing in life.
I think before this time, I've felt like no one really understood me or was really listening to what was going on.....so maybe in that way this also touches on patient-doctor interactions....Well regardless.......I think there's an end to all this madness.
Monday, January 08, 2007
Personal Life Published
So when I was at urbana....probably during a time when I was intentionally seeking out some quiet, alone time.......I got cornered by IV news/press something I don't know. Regardless, as a random sampling, somehow I got chosen to be interviewed about my experiences at Urbana.
I thought it'd be a single quote......nope a whole little article.
http://www.intervarsity.org/news/hearing-the-still-small-voice-of-god-at-urbana
I thought it'd be a single quote......nope a whole little article.
http://www.intervarsity.org/news/hearing-the-still-small-voice-of-god-at-urbana
Book: God in the Flesh
This book was a Christmas present. If I didn't know better, I'd take it as an insult....however, those who love you must discipline you as well. (the book addresses this issue as well, funny enough)
This book, again, as many other pieces of Christian literature, considers the character and personhood of Jesus as central. Until Jesus becomes the center of our thoughts and actions....we're missing the mark. Well aren't we always missing the mark......
But looking at Jesus and how he's represented in scripture, the author talks about the "black letters"--how people respond to Jesus and what he does. Its a very interesting look at the Bible.
Some examples....(common reactions and representations of Jesus):
~~"They were caught in amazement"....in the complete otherness of Christ
~~"They worshiped him"....the question, is it the real Yahweh inside of us?
~~"He spoke we authority," they became silent
~"They fell down before him"
~~Jesus's compassion: gentle, humble, weeping
~~They brought the sick to him
~~They left their nets and followed him
This book, again, as many other pieces of Christian literature, considers the character and personhood of Jesus as central. Until Jesus becomes the center of our thoughts and actions....we're missing the mark. Well aren't we always missing the mark......
But looking at Jesus and how he's represented in scripture, the author talks about the "black letters"--how people respond to Jesus and what he does. Its a very interesting look at the Bible.
Some examples....(common reactions and representations of Jesus):
~~"They were caught in amazement"....in the complete otherness of Christ
~~"They worshiped him"....the question, is it the real Yahweh inside of us?
~~"He spoke we authority," they became silent
~"They fell down before him"
~~Jesus's compassion: gentle, humble, weeping
~~They brought the sick to him
~~They left their nets and followed him
Book: In the Name of Jesus
This book, short but impactful, includes a lot of Henri Nouwen's reflections on Christian leadership.
I don't quite understand his story yet--but as far as I can gather, he made a big decision a few years ago to step down from his position at Harvard to live and pastor a community of disabled individuals. I think it intersects with a lot of current literature on community---but also on downward mobility.
He discusses some of the major temptations Jesus underwent--the temptation to be relevant, the temptation to be spectacular, and the temptation to be powerful.
His discussions of how living with the disabled changed him are very challenging to me. They are not impressed nor really care for all of his lifetime accomplishments and ideas.
His assertion over and over that the best Christian leaders are those who know God best, have come near to God. The best a leader can do is pray to be closer to God. Again, humbling.
--all our great, intriguing opinions mean nothing if not rooted out of a love for Christ, from Christ.
--leaders are as vulnerable to their people as their people are to them.
--all things are better when done with others.
I don't quite understand his story yet--but as far as I can gather, he made a big decision a few years ago to step down from his position at Harvard to live and pastor a community of disabled individuals. I think it intersects with a lot of current literature on community---but also on downward mobility.
He discusses some of the major temptations Jesus underwent--the temptation to be relevant, the temptation to be spectacular, and the temptation to be powerful.
His discussions of how living with the disabled changed him are very challenging to me. They are not impressed nor really care for all of his lifetime accomplishments and ideas.
His assertion over and over that the best Christian leaders are those who know God best, have come near to God. The best a leader can do is pray to be closer to God. Again, humbling.
--all our great, intriguing opinions mean nothing if not rooted out of a love for Christ, from Christ.
--leaders are as vulnerable to their people as their people are to them.
--all things are better when done with others.
Welcome back at Church
Between Christmas Eve and Urbana, I didn't get much of a chance to go to church "as normal" until yesterday.
I'm always surprised coming back in college how different it is from high school. For one, the staff has changed and there's a new contemporary service that really appeals to me. But more or less.....not too much has changed.
However, now I feel unmistakenly known--and liked. Its almost odd. It's mostly odd because I'm well-regarded because of my differing--often opposition opinion.s
I went to the youth room where my brother was already talking to one of the staff members about myself and my father...probably about politics or something. Suddenly I had an invitation to teach a senior high school Sunday school class--and come to bible study with my brother this week---to help bring up "the other side" so he said. We talked about the narrow-mindedness of many of the youth of our church....engendered by their parents or the political climate of Southlake, I'm unsure.
Instead of going to the contemporary worship service, I went to my father's Sunday School class. This class is called "the Journey," meets in an outside temporary building--my father considers it to be the "Old Communist" meeting....or essentially a meeting of the dissenting White's Chapel minds. Its taught by the same man who invited my father and I to the local Democrat's meeting about a year ago. This--you must understand--is fairly radical for our area.....and especially our church.
This day in class we were going through current events--the one we didn't get to was on the Wren Cross (how ironic!). Coming up soon in the class is a discussion of the 700 years of peace in Spain when Jews, Muslims, and Christians coexisted there without war. They go through current events, talk about other religions and also mostly unsuccessfully--avoid politics.
Somehow in this circle I'm also highly regarded. Probably because of my father....his own little protege, I have strong interest and a lot of knowledge about Sojourner's and Jim Wallis. The teacher even asked a couple of questions directed at me (the class is mostly people 50 and older). Oh, and when this class finished, they decided to push off the begining of the series on Spain's 700 years of peace.....for me to teach next week.....yipee. This time I get to talk about the New Monasticism research I've been doing though. This should be a good opportunity---as my advisor says, practice is the only way I'll be able to ever wrap my head around what I've learned.
And on another note at church--I got an offer to go to New Orleans with the church next week for a mission trip....probably too expensive for me right now.....but it would've been cool to go with other adults for a week and serve with people from my church.
For all the times I felt out of place and confused at church in high school, God is affording me a lot of reconciliation and welcoming people to help pull me back in.
I'm always surprised coming back in college how different it is from high school. For one, the staff has changed and there's a new contemporary service that really appeals to me. But more or less.....not too much has changed.
However, now I feel unmistakenly known--and liked. Its almost odd. It's mostly odd because I'm well-regarded because of my differing--often opposition opinion.s
I went to the youth room where my brother was already talking to one of the staff members about myself and my father...probably about politics or something. Suddenly I had an invitation to teach a senior high school Sunday school class--and come to bible study with my brother this week---to help bring up "the other side" so he said. We talked about the narrow-mindedness of many of the youth of our church....engendered by their parents or the political climate of Southlake, I'm unsure.
Instead of going to the contemporary worship service, I went to my father's Sunday School class. This class is called "the Journey," meets in an outside temporary building--my father considers it to be the "Old Communist" meeting....or essentially a meeting of the dissenting White's Chapel minds. Its taught by the same man who invited my father and I to the local Democrat's meeting about a year ago. This--you must understand--is fairly radical for our area.....and especially our church.
This day in class we were going through current events--the one we didn't get to was on the Wren Cross (how ironic!). Coming up soon in the class is a discussion of the 700 years of peace in Spain when Jews, Muslims, and Christians coexisted there without war. They go through current events, talk about other religions and also mostly unsuccessfully--avoid politics.
Somehow in this circle I'm also highly regarded. Probably because of my father....his own little protege, I have strong interest and a lot of knowledge about Sojourner's and Jim Wallis. The teacher even asked a couple of questions directed at me (the class is mostly people 50 and older). Oh, and when this class finished, they decided to push off the begining of the series on Spain's 700 years of peace.....for me to teach next week.....yipee. This time I get to talk about the New Monasticism research I've been doing though. This should be a good opportunity---as my advisor says, practice is the only way I'll be able to ever wrap my head around what I've learned.
And on another note at church--I got an offer to go to New Orleans with the church next week for a mission trip....probably too expensive for me right now.....but it would've been cool to go with other adults for a week and serve with people from my church.
For all the times I felt out of place and confused at church in high school, God is affording me a lot of reconciliation and welcoming people to help pull me back in.
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Book: Savage Inequalities
This Jonathan Kozol book paints a picture of what schools look like in 5 of the most struggling urban centers in America--East St. Louis, Il, San Antonio, TX; Washington DC; Camden, NJ; and New York City.
What strikes me about this book is that its 20 years old. And even last year and this year I've been to some of these places....and the conditions have not changed. Does that mean his writing meant nothing? That we as a people just don't care?
How does real change take place? Kozol paints a heart-wrenching picture of what life is like for children living in these poor areas, going to these schools recognizing that they are living in squalor (thanks to television, if nothing else).....but what is the response? I found myself at first reading thinking I'd some day want ot be a sociologist like him, write books that shock people and change the way they think about urban poverty.
--but does that change anything? Is the only preaching to the choir? How often do we like to sit back and hear the interesting points of socioeconomics and poverty that create a place to look like it does....but never back it up with our words or actions to change the face of a community? I am constantly struck by my pervasive social sin.....how my own prejudice often prefers to continue to live in ignorant bliss....and read of the "other world"---but to go and invest my life, love, time---and joy there.........actions do speak louder than words.
What strikes me about this book is that its 20 years old. And even last year and this year I've been to some of these places....and the conditions have not changed. Does that mean his writing meant nothing? That we as a people just don't care?
How does real change take place? Kozol paints a heart-wrenching picture of what life is like for children living in these poor areas, going to these schools recognizing that they are living in squalor (thanks to television, if nothing else).....but what is the response? I found myself at first reading thinking I'd some day want ot be a sociologist like him, write books that shock people and change the way they think about urban poverty.
--but does that change anything? Is the only preaching to the choir? How often do we like to sit back and hear the interesting points of socioeconomics and poverty that create a place to look like it does....but never back it up with our words or actions to change the face of a community? I am constantly struck by my pervasive social sin.....how my own prejudice often prefers to continue to live in ignorant bliss....and read of the "other world"---but to go and invest my life, love, time---and joy there.........actions do speak louder than words.
book: New Friars
New Friars considers some of the similarities amongst groups of young people who are choosing to move into the poorest places of the world as missionaries, bringing hope and aid to people in need.
This book was not what I expected. I was surprised to see a quite lengthy discussion of the causes of poverty in this book, identifying slum poverty as "intractable poverty."
I was a bit disappointed to see that Scott Bessenecker felt he needed so much time to justify to us the economic, social, historical, and biblical reasons for caring for the poor before actually describing how people were doing it.
Regardless, there were some good descriptions of the trials of incarnational living abroad....the dificulty of leaving family and friends, living without modern conveniences, getting married later in life.
However, knowing my experiences from this summer, I know that these movements to live incarnationally.....driven by the spirit of God....are not all youth movements, but drawn from a diverse spectrum of people. I'd liked to have seen some discussion of the differences of life in Bangkok's slums for single, young Dave versus the married couple with kids from Klong Toey.
I felt left with a lot of questions regarding what daily life was like....or if that was even relevant.
This was a good attempt though at starting to characterize a new Christian approach to social change, a dissatisfaction with political options and full-fledged life support towards loving and living amongst the needy.
This book was not what I expected. I was surprised to see a quite lengthy discussion of the causes of poverty in this book, identifying slum poverty as "intractable poverty."
I was a bit disappointed to see that Scott Bessenecker felt he needed so much time to justify to us the economic, social, historical, and biblical reasons for caring for the poor before actually describing how people were doing it.
Regardless, there were some good descriptions of the trials of incarnational living abroad....the dificulty of leaving family and friends, living without modern conveniences, getting married later in life.
However, knowing my experiences from this summer, I know that these movements to live incarnationally.....driven by the spirit of God....are not all youth movements, but drawn from a diverse spectrum of people. I'd liked to have seen some discussion of the differences of life in Bangkok's slums for single, young Dave versus the married couple with kids from Klong Toey.
I felt left with a lot of questions regarding what daily life was like....or if that was even relevant.
This was a good attempt though at starting to characterize a new Christian approach to social change, a dissatisfaction with political options and full-fledged life support towards loving and living amongst the needy.
Family and a Wedding
So I've not been so good about keeping up with the blog this time around? I don't know if its lost its novelty--or if I've before just relied on writing when I've been out of town. However, I am convinced that everyday life can in just as interesting, so I will try to show that more often.
However, back to my usual self, I'm writing about a trip.
Houston, Texas
I drove down to Houston this Friday and back Saturday afternoon for 2 friend's from Bangkok's wedding.
I spent Friday evening with my cousin and his wife on the outskirts of town. Its amazing how you can be related to someone, spend important days of the year with them and still never really know them. I was a bit surprised to see some of their approach to life. I often found myself talking to him like I'd talk to any person I was I'd just met at school---and found to be a little too "cool" and crazy for my style....but I was still attempting to get along, using the lingo I could and laughing at what seemed appropriate. It wasn't overly awkward--just eye opening and a different side of family than I'd seen before that point.
Regardless, after some drinks at home we went out to the Rice Village where I'd been with A. Rachelle before to an Indian restaurant and a bar. Interesting to see what the "scene" is at age 35 as well.
The wedding Saturday morning was about 30 minutes from their house (still in Houston, its like LA, just huge) at a Chinese Lutheran Church. I hadn't realized the size of Houston's China Town. The man getting married was Chinese American, nonetheless.
--It was a very special, community wedding. It was obvious that a lot of the members from the church had come out and considered this to be a very important event for their church community.
The reception was also beautiful....I got to sit with 2 girls from Carrie's law school and 3 people from their Ethiopia Trek (including the director, director of my Trek as well......got to do an alumni study on people coming out of that program....all doing amazing things!).
Some funny faux paus that wouldn't have worked in any stressed-bride wedding.....but because carrie and irwin are so low-key.....we all just laughed.
---the candle girl couldn't get the candle to stay light...so someone chased her down the aisle with a lighter.
---no bible on the pulpit to read the bible passages...a guy from the band gets up and hands it to him....funnier than it sounds
---they each had the wrong ring...there was a tricky switch around before the vows
--irwin starts repeating his vows....looking at the pastor....who then turns and tells irwin..."tell her, not me"
good times with good people
long drive to and from....but definitely worth it.
However, back to my usual self, I'm writing about a trip.
Houston, Texas
I drove down to Houston this Friday and back Saturday afternoon for 2 friend's from Bangkok's wedding.
I spent Friday evening with my cousin and his wife on the outskirts of town. Its amazing how you can be related to someone, spend important days of the year with them and still never really know them. I was a bit surprised to see some of their approach to life. I often found myself talking to him like I'd talk to any person I was I'd just met at school---and found to be a little too "cool" and crazy for my style....but I was still attempting to get along, using the lingo I could and laughing at what seemed appropriate. It wasn't overly awkward--just eye opening and a different side of family than I'd seen before that point.
Regardless, after some drinks at home we went out to the Rice Village where I'd been with A. Rachelle before to an Indian restaurant and a bar. Interesting to see what the "scene" is at age 35 as well.
The wedding Saturday morning was about 30 minutes from their house (still in Houston, its like LA, just huge) at a Chinese Lutheran Church. I hadn't realized the size of Houston's China Town. The man getting married was Chinese American, nonetheless.
--It was a very special, community wedding. It was obvious that a lot of the members from the church had come out and considered this to be a very important event for their church community.
The reception was also beautiful....I got to sit with 2 girls from Carrie's law school and 3 people from their Ethiopia Trek (including the director, director of my Trek as well......got to do an alumni study on people coming out of that program....all doing amazing things!).
Some funny faux paus that wouldn't have worked in any stressed-bride wedding.....but because carrie and irwin are so low-key.....we all just laughed.
---the candle girl couldn't get the candle to stay light...so someone chased her down the aisle with a lighter.
---no bible on the pulpit to read the bible passages...a guy from the band gets up and hands it to him....funnier than it sounds
---they each had the wrong ring...there was a tricky switch around before the vows
--irwin starts repeating his vows....looking at the pastor....who then turns and tells irwin..."tell her, not me"
good times with good people
long drive to and from....but definitely worth it.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
since you've been gone
Since I've been home.......well not too much going on, but in 3 days....
--major Gilmore Girls marathon
--a dentist trip
--started a gym membership for the month
--filled out applications
--cookbook and grocery shopping and lots of exotic vegetarian cooking
--read a Henry Nouwen book and another book about community
--major Gilmore Girls marathon
--a dentist trip
--started a gym membership for the month
--filled out applications
--cookbook and grocery shopping and lots of exotic vegetarian cooking
--read a Henry Nouwen book and another book about community
Urbana: highlights
Urbana is a 5-day missions conference sponsored by InterVarsity. This year it took place in St. Louis Missiouri.
some interesting highlights:
--a lot of talk about the global church, considering the church to be global, not bound by any nation or culture
--focus on the city, understanding our place in the city
--book of Ephesians
--powerful talk from IJM Sharon Cohen
--discussing issues of racial reconciliation
--running into two people from communities from this summer and two people from Kids Accross America
--a great talk with a girl from a community in Minneapolis
seminars on:
~Jews and Palestinians: Is Reconciliation Possible?
~African Amerians and AIDS
~Biblical Methods for Fighting Injustice
~Encountering God in the City: creating service experiences in the city
some interesting highlights:
--a lot of talk about the global church, considering the church to be global, not bound by any nation or culture
--focus on the city, understanding our place in the city
--book of Ephesians
--powerful talk from IJM Sharon Cohen
--discussing issues of racial reconciliation
--running into two people from communities from this summer and two people from Kids Accross America
--a great talk with a girl from a community in Minneapolis
seminars on:
~Jews and Palestinians: Is Reconciliation Possible?
~African Amerians and AIDS
~Biblical Methods for Fighting Injustice
~Encountering God in the City: creating service experiences in the city
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