Work, work, works

Sometimes I just get tired. And then I start to lose my passion for everything.....even those things I am supposedly most passionate about.

Not even a physical tiredness.....more of a soul-tiredness. I guess they'd call that being "weary."

Well I beginning to feel weary. I sometimes feel weary when I lack a lot of social interaction and changing atmosphere as well I notice.

I've been living a routine here. Up every morning about 8:15, make breakfast. Go to the gym, stay about 1.5 hours. Drive back....sit at computer all day long. Work on LSAT stuff for about 2-3 hours. Thesis in front of the fire for 3 or so hours. Making green tea all day life. Break out the wine with the family at 5, still working on the computer. Somtimes some TV at night. Physical therapy determines the rest of the day--funny when those become some of my most-seen people. Some shopping as well, trying to spend off the gift certificates.

Nikki came home yesterday. I was really thankful for the break in the routine. And just her joy for life. I long for having a good group of girls like her to live with.....and just have "girl time" regularly. One of my friends, he would call that an estrogen-fest or something like that. But girls know what i mean....sometimes our apartment dinner can be this way. Being around Catherine and Sara can be that for me too. Our small group. Girls sitting around, laughing......saying the honest things we don't tell anyone else.....not really deep, dark secrets......but more the funny little intricacies of life. It reminds me of my mom and her "quilt cult"--they get together weekly and just enjoy life and one another.

My last Beth Moore tape started with her saying this one was just a "woman thang"--in that Houston accent of hers. There is just sometimes a deep understanding and love amongst women. Of course sometimes we are awful and catty and hateful to one another....but I think that's been one of the redemptive things about becoming more of a "real Christian"--or a 2nd rebirth, whatever you'd call it.....in the past few years, learning to live with and love women.

that entry started about one thing and became about another.....I think in tangents sometimes...but its interesting to see my thoughts flow out onto the page.....its a cleansing process.