For in a multitude of dreams there is futility and worthlessness, and ruin in a flood of words. But reverently fear God revere and worship Him, knowing that He is.
-Ecclesiasties 5:7
Monday, February 19, 2007
2/19/2007: Fighting for the Win?
Sometimes I wonder how Christians can ever justify a political "fight" or stance. It seems contrary to the nature of Christians to be crusading or promoting for any cause of any kind.
I fear, being someone easily excited about politics and debate, that I can begin purusing the win, over pursuing God or something of his greater character.
I think the greatest danger in pursuing the win has to do with the inevitable beating-the other side portion of winning. To win, someone must lose. It is disheartening to see people starting to mark up tallies, deciding who's coming up "better" than the other, or who holds the upper hand. When we focus on beating someone else, for whatever reason, we cease to love them. We cease to see them as children of God, only as another pawn in a cause.
We see people plotting other's demise, Christian people plotting the demise of other Christians (is the hand revolting on the foot, cutting its own disordered body apart). It hurts. I'm not proposing that Jesus was always a pacifist, though, maybe he was--just not in a lie-down-and-get-hurt kind of way.
pray for unity of the body.
I fear, being someone easily excited about politics and debate, that I can begin purusing the win, over pursuing God or something of his greater character.
I think the greatest danger in pursuing the win has to do with the inevitable beating-the other side portion of winning. To win, someone must lose. It is disheartening to see people starting to mark up tallies, deciding who's coming up "better" than the other, or who holds the upper hand. When we focus on beating someone else, for whatever reason, we cease to love them. We cease to see them as children of God, only as another pawn in a cause.
We see people plotting other's demise, Christian people plotting the demise of other Christians (is the hand revolting on the foot, cutting its own disordered body apart). It hurts. I'm not proposing that Jesus was always a pacifist, though, maybe he was--just not in a lie-down-and-get-hurt kind of way.
pray for unity of the body.
2/17/2007: Morning Stillness
Something beautiful I’ve started practicing this year, having my own kitchen and apartment, I enjoy long mornings sitting by myself, doing devotions and enjoying the quiet of the morning. I’m not normally someone who likes spending time by myself, but this morning time has become precious to me. It’s nice to live as those this is my home, able to eat and read the Bible in the morning in pajamas, relaxing into the day instead of having to rush to take a shower first thing as I’ve done every other year in college.
I guess its just one of those parts of learning what you like in life and who you want to become.
I guess its just one of those parts of learning what you like in life and who you want to become.
2/16/07: Back on that Train....
I love the freedom of public transportation, the freedom to spend the time doing something else or enjoying watching the world and scenery go by—instead of driving and needing to concentrate. Of course, it leads to contemplation. And thanks to Amtrak, there are plugs for computers—so a place to catalogue thoughts. I head to Washington, DC again. This time for the “real thing” interview. We’ll see. Another one of those things I’m a bit apprehensive to discuss and divulge into in front of an internet audience (what of 1, 2….haha who knows?).
My perfect vision of a partying, freeing second semester senior year has yet to take root. This is starting to concern me a bit. Last weekend I took the LSAT, of course that was a lot of time and preparation. Then after that it was time take care of everything I hadn’t done instead of the LSAT—honors thesis, namely and a midterm and lecture to read for.
But of course, the life of all other organizations rolls on as well—this coming week after 3 days out of town, I come back to a long evening showing Invisible Children, a Honors Presentation in front of my advisors and friends, and culminating in Mortar Board’s selection evening (I hear to expect to stay for 5 hours….wow). Well at least my academic work isn’t taking up too much of my time. Of course, minus that measly thesis….
Well there’s the laundry list of life. The emotions and real stuff of life leaves me holding the hard emotions at arm’s length. I feel like my closest relationships are really starting to make sense and come to the point of honesty and love I’ve looked for all my life—roommates, other close friends….and its some sick joke that I’ll be so far from these people in 3 month’s time. I don’t have the emotional strength to start withdrawing now, which is good.
Its so hard to remember that God has timing for everything. There’s a time for me to become really close to my roommate this semester—after we’ve known each other for 3.5 other years…..and that’s ok. That’s hard for me to grasp. I want to believe that we should’ve gotten it together a long time ago—but to realize maybe this was God’s timing for our lives. That’s hard to comprehend. And sometimes hurts, why do I get her this close for a year—and not, well 10 or 20? Why does she have to move West? Just to take one example.
And not to even mention, the 3 or 4 close friends of mine who are abroad/living away this semester. Why now? What will happen in the future.
I think I have such a hard time believing that I will find and experience these good of friendships ever again in the future, that God has a plan for new sets of inspiring, loving, supportive people for the rest of my life. That’s hard to believe in the moment when I love these people and would be perfectly content taking them with me for the rest of my lives.
But, to discount how thankful I should feel for all the love and support in my life---well that’d just be silly. God is good. I am so thankful for the relationships in my life—but also for the new relationships coming up even this semester. I’ve gotten to know this lovely freshman girl who lights up my life.
My perfect vision of a partying, freeing second semester senior year has yet to take root. This is starting to concern me a bit. Last weekend I took the LSAT, of course that was a lot of time and preparation. Then after that it was time take care of everything I hadn’t done instead of the LSAT—honors thesis, namely and a midterm and lecture to read for.
But of course, the life of all other organizations rolls on as well—this coming week after 3 days out of town, I come back to a long evening showing Invisible Children, a Honors Presentation in front of my advisors and friends, and culminating in Mortar Board’s selection evening (I hear to expect to stay for 5 hours….wow). Well at least my academic work isn’t taking up too much of my time. Of course, minus that measly thesis….
Well there’s the laundry list of life. The emotions and real stuff of life leaves me holding the hard emotions at arm’s length. I feel like my closest relationships are really starting to make sense and come to the point of honesty and love I’ve looked for all my life—roommates, other close friends….and its some sick joke that I’ll be so far from these people in 3 month’s time. I don’t have the emotional strength to start withdrawing now, which is good.
Its so hard to remember that God has timing for everything. There’s a time for me to become really close to my roommate this semester—after we’ve known each other for 3.5 other years…..and that’s ok. That’s hard for me to grasp. I want to believe that we should’ve gotten it together a long time ago—but to realize maybe this was God’s timing for our lives. That’s hard to comprehend. And sometimes hurts, why do I get her this close for a year—and not, well 10 or 20? Why does she have to move West? Just to take one example.
And not to even mention, the 3 or 4 close friends of mine who are abroad/living away this semester. Why now? What will happen in the future.
I think I have such a hard time believing that I will find and experience these good of friendships ever again in the future, that God has a plan for new sets of inspiring, loving, supportive people for the rest of my life. That’s hard to believe in the moment when I love these people and would be perfectly content taking them with me for the rest of my lives.
But, to discount how thankful I should feel for all the love and support in my life---well that’d just be silly. God is good. I am so thankful for the relationships in my life—but also for the new relationships coming up even this semester. I’ve gotten to know this lovely freshman girl who lights up my life.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
LSAT over!
Took my first official LSAT Saturday, thank the Lord its over. Could be much ado about nothing...but really, who knows?
When it comes to law school, UTexas and Rutgers somehow are the only ones that come to mind....interesting combination....and I might have a chance of getting in too!
Well, let it be known this is not the immediate plan for my life though.
Other life highlights....
--Some more cross-related action going on with the BOV on campus and some zealous activists on either side....can't really talk about that here, but its become a big part of my life
--attempting to get back into writing this thesis again after several more weeks of neglect
--attending Peace Hill, liking getting to know all kinds of people there--and seeing great people like Allison back in town!
--Great dinner with 2 girls interested in New Monasticism--one I've known since a freshman seminar on God and the Protest Novel...and another kindred spirit who transfered last year....we had our last 2 good talks before this in dorm kitchens....funny that.
Life is good, senior year is much busier than I ever expected....or really wanted it to be. Hopefully after this weekend's interview (IV in DC)...I can settle down a little and chill out more. However, looking back, I've definitely had more crazy semesters than this.
When it comes to law school, UTexas and Rutgers somehow are the only ones that come to mind....interesting combination....and I might have a chance of getting in too!
Well, let it be known this is not the immediate plan for my life though.
Other life highlights....
--Some more cross-related action going on with the BOV on campus and some zealous activists on either side....can't really talk about that here, but its become a big part of my life
--attempting to get back into writing this thesis again after several more weeks of neglect
--attending Peace Hill, liking getting to know all kinds of people there--and seeing great people like Allison back in town!
--Great dinner with 2 girls interested in New Monasticism--one I've known since a freshman seminar on God and the Protest Novel...and another kindred spirit who transfered last year....we had our last 2 good talks before this in dorm kitchens....funny that.
Life is good, senior year is much busier than I ever expected....or really wanted it to be. Hopefully after this weekend's interview (IV in DC)...I can settle down a little and chill out more. However, looking back, I've definitely had more crazy semesters than this.
LSAT over!
Took my first official LSAT Saturday, thank the Lord its over. Could be much ado about nothing...but really, who knows?
When it comes to law school, UTexas and Rutgers somehow are the only ones that come to mind....interesting combination....and I might have a chance of getting in too!
Well, let it be known this is not the immediate plan for my life though.
Other life highlights....
--Some more cross-related action going on with the BOV on campus and some zealous activists on either side....can't really talk about that here, but its become a big part of my life
--attempting to get back into writing this thesis again after several more weeks of neglect
--attending Peace Hill, liking getting to know all kinds of people there--and seeing great people like Allison back in town!
--Great dinner with 2 girls interested in New Monasticism--one I've known since a freshman seminar on God and the Protest Novel...and another kindred spirit who transfered last year....we had our last 2 good talks before this in dorm kitchens....funny that.
Life is good, senior year is much busier than I ever expected....or really wanted it to be. Hopefully after this weekend's interview (IV in DC)...I can settle down a little and chill out more. However, looking back, I've definitely had more crazy semesters than this.
When it comes to law school, UTexas and Rutgers somehow are the only ones that come to mind....interesting combination....and I might have a chance of getting in too!
Well, let it be known this is not the immediate plan for my life though.
Other life highlights....
--Some more cross-related action going on with the BOV on campus and some zealous activists on either side....can't really talk about that here, but its become a big part of my life
--attempting to get back into writing this thesis again after several more weeks of neglect
--attending Peace Hill, liking getting to know all kinds of people there--and seeing great people like Allison back in town!
--Great dinner with 2 girls interested in New Monasticism--one I've known since a freshman seminar on God and the Protest Novel...and another kindred spirit who transfered last year....we had our last 2 good talks before this in dorm kitchens....funny that.
Life is good, senior year is much busier than I ever expected....or really wanted it to be. Hopefully after this weekend's interview (IV in DC)...I can settle down a little and chill out more. However, looking back, I've definitely had more crazy semesters than this.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
I am Growing....
Sometimes its amazing to just sit back and consider the person we've become.
To consider what we've learned about life, love, and relating to those around us. I'm amazed by God's ability to emotionally mature us, baby step after baby step.
I am so blessed. My life is so full and there are so many amazing people with amazing talents and love in it. Thank you Jesus!
To consider what we've learned about life, love, and relating to those around us. I'm amazed by God's ability to emotionally mature us, baby step after baby step.
I am so blessed. My life is so full and there are so many amazing people with amazing talents and love in it. Thank you Jesus!
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