Circle of Hope

While visiting Philadelphia, I visited this church Circle of Hope. http://www.circleofhope.net/blog/

I'd heard of the church through New Monastic connections--it's a church many of the "simples" in the philadelphia area attend and a favorite in "Emergent" church circles as well.

Definitely an interesting, alternative service.

The music was generally hymn-based--though some songs were in other languages--something, when I sit back, I realize I've never seen done much in a church context. (FYI: It is an InterVarsity value that in order to express and understand God's love for people of "all cultures" that we embrace multicultural worship that honors that God is God of the whole earth and all its people).

Besides that though it gave the guise of a regular contemporary-type service that--sometimes painstakingly attempts to do.

However--there was no "talk" or sermon. I found this really refreshing.

Instead someone--who must've been a leader stood up and talked about how she was going to answer a question from the "question box," probably something they had at the back of the church.
The question was "Is it easier for "N" people to come to faith than "S" people?" This was referencing the Myer's Brigg's type indicator--N people, intuitive versus S, sensing refers to how we take in information. Usually we are dominate one or the other--or on some kind of continuum. N people are more drawn to theories, overarching ideas and connections where as S people are more drawn to concrete facts and details....or something like that.

She said the question had an assumption within it that faith was something intangible and whimsical--that only those who live in the world of theory would be able to grasp it.
She said that yes, we do often choose though how we relate to God, whether dominating in the S or N territory of our spiritual lives.

Following this we did two prayer exercises---one that allowed us to use our S side, another that allowed us to use our N side.
For the S side we prayed, considering everything that had taken place that day--thinking about when we'd felt most/least loved, grateful.
For the N side we prayed, the leader read a passage from Matthew 6 3 times through, we concentrated first on a word, then a feeling, then an invitation.

After this there was a time to "talk back"--and much to my surprise (I've seen the audience participation thing attempted many times in church with no response)--people really responded, questioned her logic and arguments. How exciting! It was great to see people so engaged with the subject!

This was a great church example to see and pushes me to continue to be very thoughtul about my own church placement--not just settling but really searching out the place God wants me to be.

Thanksgiving Break

It's been awhile since I've done a general life update kind of blog entry.
Here's one.

Thanksgiving break was great. Tuesday evening I left campus earlier than any Tuesday this semester (our usual large group night has me at campus until almost 10:30/11 most weeks). I met up with a friend from elementary school who's now a bartender at the only mexican food happy hour joint near my end of DC. There I got to meet some great characters--a homeless man who sells the paper made by homeless of DC, the blind jazz singer Banana Cafe hires).

Next I got to spend the evening with a great Texas friend Nikki and her boyfriend. Along with her brother who I hadn't seen in at least a year! I'd heard about her boyfriend for a long time before and it was great to meet someone who exceeded expecations and thoughts I'd had before about him. Really great!

After spending the night at Nikki's UT housing spot, I took the train up to Philadelphia where WM roommate Janelle picked me up. We spent the afternoon hanging around Camden, NJ looking around her ministry with Urban Promise. I got to meet the old regional director of Mid Atlantic InterVarsity, dedicated administrative staff and talk to other interns--including one from Malawi!

Janelle and I took a longer-than usual (busyest travel day of the year!) trip up the NJ turnpike to her home in Little Falls, New Jersey.

While in Little Falls, we got to go into New York for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade (a 2nd for me--but this time 60 degrees outside! great day!). We went to a close family friend's 25th wedding anniversy celebration which was a wonderful celebration of family and loving life together. We also spent an afternoon with Rebecca, a girl who'd been in the small group Janelle and I co-lead for all 3 years we lead it.
Just spending time with Janelle's family was great--good to see where she gets much of herself from--from her sarcasm to attention to detail and the needs of others. Hospitality is something she's learned from those closest to her.

I ended off getting dropped off by Janelle in Philadelphia for a short visit with a couple of friends there.
My friend Sean is investment banking in the city center, it's great to experience city life with him! I also got to see my friend Evan from college who's doing Americorp's "City Year" program in Philadelphia this year. They begin each day doing cheers and jumping jacks outside the city hall area of town. A lot of fun to see him enjoying this position so much and embracing the multifaceted sides of this city!

Great break!

Communicating Values

Lately I've been thinking alot about my time spent with students.

Much of my time as "campus staff" for InterVarsity is spent one-on-one with students, essentially talking. Talking, eating, listening, drinking coffee.

So either I have a very vibrant social life (which I wouldn't totally deny on some days)--or there's something else going on there--something a little deeper and possibly more spiritual than just hanging out.

But what is it? What exactly is my goal in this "relational" discipleship process?

Goal 1: build a relationship. Before any person--college student or not is going to share intimately of their personal life or spiritual being--the person inquiring needs to show genuine interest in them as a person. Interest in what their passions are, their past, their friends, their desires. There's a prerequisite of simply taking the time to listen to someone and befriend them.

But once it goes beyond this--often the waters become murky. With some wise guidance I've begun to think about the kinds of values I am imparting to others. Essentially thinking of these times with students as potential one-on-one teaching opportunities.
But what am I teaching?
I think we all teach lessons we don't always think too deeply about. I know in the past I've show people who've respected me in similar form to students now the importance of worrying about academics or obssessing about relationships, fearing the future, etc. Of course these weren't the lessons I really wanted to teach or communicate--but by talking about these things constantly--I showed what really mattered to me in life.

So this process is two-fold. One, searching, praying and seeking for what I really do value when it comes to the Christian life. Is grace something that I see as essential? I say it is. But do I live that way? Do I teach that? So discovering what values I find essential to a healthy Christian walk.

Then discovering ways to communicate these values to others. Probably this takes many formats--reading books related to the subjects (books about grace, social justice, whatever I know to be truly important), praying for growth in those areas, Asking students questions about these values--and learning to talk about what God's teaching me on each.

Maybe first I should choose a few values.....or even just one thing I'd hope students who spend time with me even after a semester would walk away having learned about being in relationship with God.

What's important to know/exercise as a Christian? open to thoughts and suggestions......

Commitment

Our community House came together this weekend and put down some of our commitments to one another.

When we moved in almost 3-4 months ago now we all came in not knowing each other before. Each of us had different expectations and hopes about what living in Anacostia and together in an "intentional community" might look like.

Over time, it's been difficult to realize that we did have differing ideas.

To start to resolve this, in the tradition of monastic communities we began to formulate a rule of life. First this was going to be a rule of life that we created together. However, over time, it's appeared that before creating one together we should each sit back and pray to consider what we could commit to personally.

We each came to our community meeting Sunday bringing a list of the commitments we were making to ourselves, to God, to others in the community house and to the neighborhood.
Over our time sharing, some themes began to emerge. Our common rule of life and vision statements will likely come from the result of this.

Major values
A. Seeking to be students of the city & of poverty
1. Regularly discussing and educating ourselves about issues facing the city, our neighbors and those living in poverty.
2. prayer walking around the neighborhood
3. volunteering in organizations that help the city
4. church involvement
5. civic involvement
B. Being Good Neighbors especially our immediately surrounding neighbors
1. Regularly speaking to our neighbors, inviting them over when appropriate, asking about their lives and sharing about ours
2. Involvement at the local elementary school
3. Financial and business investment in the area: shopping at the local grocery, using the library
4. Caring for those who care for the area: building relationships with people who serve in full-time volunteer status in the neighborhood, Simple House volunteers who care for housing projects in the area or friends who work for after school programs or as teachers.
C. Bridge Building
1. Thursday night dinners where we invite friends from other parts of the DC area to our house
2. Area college student involvement in our house and neighborhood
3. Sharing what we're learning in the area with each other and friends
4. Valuing our outside of community relationships
5. bridging the economic and racial divisions in the city
D. Community Life and Intentional Spiritual Formation
1. Active involvement in each other's lifes
2. Being present at home together
3. Commual living-sharing our finances and property with each other
4. Daily morning prayer together
5. Sunday community nights: we eat, pray, share and study together
6. Daily personal devotional time, keeping that seprate and valued
7. Regular Sabbath-keeping by members
8. Submission of personal concerns to the community

Theology of Abundance versus Theology of Scarcity

I've had this idea floating around in my head for weeks now.

I'm thinking about this idea that God is a God who gives richly, his gifts are abundant....more than we could ever ask or imagine.

However, we as people often get stuck in a scaricity mentality. Either we think we must hoard what we have or we start to believe in a world of competition rather than abundance.

Let me throw out an example. My home church.

My home church White's Chapel UMC in Southlake Texas is a large, hometown congregation. A few years ago another large church planted in town. I'm sure at the time many people were worried that the new church would "steal" all of our members.

But with a couple of years under out belts now--this has not happened at all. Both churches....I believe...have grown. Each have several thousand members.

God is a God of abundance. When we think there's a limited pool to draw from--God shows he si God of the whole universe, not just our plot of people.

With a theology of scarcity there is a belief that there is a finite level of resources and that if someone else gets some of those resources, than it means I have less. Everything is always a zero-sum game. This creates attitudes which allow us to justify accumulation and acquisition as a means of ensuring that we have enough. It also has led to believe that God rewards us for faith by blessing us with wealth and things.


In the economy of God everyone has all that they need, there is enough always to go around.

It is a theology of Abundance, which believes that God has given us all that we need. We are called to share all that we have in order to ensure that all have a share in God's Blessings. In the theology of the abundance we are called to recognize our unique blessings from God and find ways to give back that call us in to relationship with our brothers and sisters. In Matthew 25 we are told that whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers and sisters you do to me. It is clear that Christ calls us to a radical way of relating to the world through our time talents and treasures. We are clearly called to go beyond the law to a deeper sense of giving.

When we know that God gives richly, we want to give richly to others as well.
It's about trusting that when we give God will provide for us in big, more than sufficient type of ways.

look up the concept: theology of abundance versus theology of scarcity.
I'm not sure I've done it great justice here.


But I know I'm constantly finding myself falling into a theology of scarcity that's allowing me to see other ministries, people, charities as competition--and I know that's problematic!

Free School Breakfast

About three weeks ago I started monitoring the breakfast period at the elementary school down the street--Orr Elementary (about a block away).

Most of the kids in the school get free breakfast every morning as part of the free lunch program by the federal government.
During that time period each day the teachers are going through professional development. So the only people monitoring the 200-300 kids from age 3-11 are a few aides. Most disciplinary action includes a lot of yelling, blowing of whistles, etc. Not a lot of positive reinforcement going around--but also the scene is wild--imagine even just a few kids chasing each other in a small room....chaos ensues.

One of my roommates--another IV staff at George Washington University takes a couple of students down to the school to volunteer one day a week. When they were getting to know the principal they asked if there were other volunteer needs. She spoke about how crazy the kids get during breakfast. And how much she would rather have the breakfast be a time for reading quietly rather than crazy running around/getting in trouble before the day even starts.....

So enter me--I can be free from 8am-8:45am most every morning. So at first I committed to two days a week. But starting this week I've been going more often because I really enjoy it.


So several incentives here......
A. We've had trouble getting to know kids in the neighborhood--our street has only older people on it. Elementary schools are local--so all these kids live near here. I've started to see them walking by on the street, they wave, etc.
B. Short time period--I'm not super into kids....but 45 minutes is a great amount of time. lots of activity, smiles, hugs.....and they're on their way.

So overall it's been a great experience, getting to know the kids, the school, the teachers (one's Teach for America program, a girl we're trying to get to know). At first I felt like the kids were stand offish. But by now a few weeks later.....they run up to me, I'm internalizing more names every day and I'm beginning to see them around the neighborhood too.

Weighty Matters

I will be vague here. But just bear with me.

There are times--well often many times in any given day when I realize I need to be so much more a person of prayer than I am. Sometimes it's when I have an awkward conversation with a student, when I reaize that I'm just breezing by people on campus, not thinking about how their expressions really look.
But it also happens when I start to go into deeper relationship with people--that's when I remember I am not here to hang out, shoot the breeze, make friends.......I'm here to help students see God working amongst their lives. Someone shares something personal--or starts asking me really hard questions about how God intersects with life here. And--wow! I'm caught off gaurd. Time to start taking it seriously and remember what kind of responsibility comes with the opportunity sometimes to literally steward people's spiritual lives.

Georgetown Halloween

I just spent a lovely night exploring Georgetown University and neighborhood on Halloween!

Exicting because there are a lot of things that go on here for Halloween--a special showing of the Exorcist (filmed in the area) and mobs of people walking "M" street in costume.

And I even got to spend the night on campus---awesome and fun!

Jim Meets Leadership Theory

The character "Jim" from the Office: who is he? how does he fit in with Leadership models and culture, where are Christian fellowships missing students like him?

OK. So in August a fellow InterVarsity staff said that many students now want to be like the character Jim from the office--Jim isn't the boss, he doesn't make too many waves, he's an opinion leader and a generally funny and likeable guy. However is Jim a leader? What would need to change to empower Jim to be a leader?

This contrasts with another form of leadership, a more traditonal leadership model when in (at least dominant culture)....leaders are those who take risks in public, speak for groups, have a lot of self-initiative and change the direction of a group. That's probably an incomplete model....but in contrast to Jim, a way of seeing leaders as those who continue to "stick their neck out" and put themselves away from the crowd.

I believe many first year students are somewhat like Jim. When I visited last week at William and Mary several students talked about lacking the general motivation to overly involved in much of anything on campus---not only Christian organizations but also fun events or seemingly-interesting sounding campus lectures. They hear about them, they sound good---but then somehow they lacks the motivation. It seems much better to hang around where you are known, loved and well respected among dorm friends.

I think we all have times where we're like the character Jim. Many of my friends in college were like this. They valued time with one another over most everything else--organizational involvment, grades, "outside" relationships. I think this was a good lesson for me in commitment. Probably the Jims of the world--as I stretch the metaphor to oblivion--are very good husbands, fathers, friends?

This must be clarified---to be like Jim is not bad!!! The character of Jim represents a different kind of student, thus who will be a different kind of leader.

But what do we do with this person? InterVarsity and similar organizations have a strong focus on leadership development. But really--when we sit back and think critically about this type of leadership development--it's under the guise that almost anyone can be a leader.

So what kind of leader is the character Jim? Not just how he acts currently---but how could he be grown and molded into a more effective leader? Not one that would look like the boss of the group who was constantly sticking his neck out looking like a fool--but a leader that would be more true to Jim's personality? How do organizations first get someone like Jim involved (remember, he'd rather spend time with those he knows, trusts, cares for)...and retain his membership. What programming and focus makes him interested?


Where's the intersection here though? A friend of mine is doing a study on leadership development, in particular including a case study on a christian leadership conference. The theorized that maybe we have it all messed up--Christians go to leadership conferences really for reasons of personal development rather than for leadership skills. It makes them feel good--but also just focuses on making us all better individuals, more self-aware. It's all about the cultural fascination with the idea of the "self."

So we have: Jim....then traditional enterprenurial leader.
---are these a false dichotomy?
---two different people?
---part of a development continuum?
---do we culturally value or assert one over the other? In different situations?

Does Jim represent the "Bowling Alone" (famous book written recently) theory that Americans now would rather write a check to charity than participate in a bowling league?


SOOOO if everyone can be a leader....what kind of leader will Jim become?

A Prayer Place: Fall Conference 2007

I just came back from our InterVarsity Fall Conference. We had about 150 students from various DC schools come together in the colorful hills of Virginia to hear a speaker talk about Christian living--yes, it sounds broad, but it was about that broad. But not to say that was bad--he just did a really great job of hitting all fascets of Christian life--personal, justice, DC issues, school work, relationships. He spoke for each of four sessions on different Biblical people--Daniel, Ester, Ezra, and Ezekiel.

I got a little push feeling from God a few weeks ago to contribute something to the weekend. Each InterVarsity staff person from the area attends the conference and between us we do a lot of the "putting together" of the details--one person volunteers to put on the coffee, another volunteers to gather books to sell, another organizes the worship team. As the new person, I didn't volunteer for anything.

But I felt like God was wanting me to put together a "prayer room" for the weekend. I've been really blessed by prayer rooms before both at the Urbana missions conference and Orientation for new staff put on by InterVarsity. In a prayer room--well mostly it's set aside as a guaranteed quiet place to meet God. Others have gone before and prayed a lot in the room.

However, it's also a place to set aside some other forms of prayer. I gathered pillows, blankets, art supplies and candles from several staff members for this portion. The candles allowed students to light a reminder of God--or several reminders of God even. Pillows and blankets allowed students to literally "rest" with God if necessary. I also gathered art supplies. Students could write out verses, make a clay model, or create a piece of art to God. Several wrote out bible verses or prayer--complete with visual reprentations. Crosses, crowns, birds, fires, hands, hearts.

We also put up some poster boards--one with "God is" and space to add on the names of God. One with Psalm 100 and space to add things we were thankful for. Another with a generic prayer request and space to add on post-it note names and places.


Overall, I was very pleased with the outcome. Many students--especially those who were less familiar with the idea of a "quiet time" or prayer I think really found sollace in the ability to "do" prayer rather than have their mind wander or sit confused. I hope to be able to put something like it together again.

Two way Street?

The other day I let a student buy me coffee.

This isn't how these things are supposed to go--as part of my fundraising for InterVarsity, I have an expense account which I can use to take students out for coffee, lunch, buy snacks for our evening meetings, etc. Essentially, I'm supposed to be giving towards them in many ways--food, time, my love, thoughts and care.

But when she offered--I accepted. Why? Because I think I'm needing to learn some lessons about reciprocity, especially in relationships where I often want to just be the giver, rather than the receiver.

This applies to my life on many levels. On campus, I'm struggling a lot with finding that line of vulnerability/friendship/divulgance with students I didn't ever have a peer relationship with--at a school unfamiliar to me. How much do I share with them? How can I expect them to share with me when I won't talk about myself? Of course, those who know me, know I'm probably more likely to fall into saying too much rather than too little on this front.
But maybe I'm not being as open as I could be on campus, open to being blessed by students and letting them do for me.

However, when I was doing my honors thesis research I think God did a lot of work on me about receiving gifts from others. While I expected to go and listen, research and learn from each community--I never expected to be treated so well, cared for and given hospitality to the extent i was. I learned to humbly allow others to serve me much more than I had before.

But it also applies in my neighborhood. When I sit back and take a hard look at myself and my motivations. I see that often I am much more comfortable with a charity relationship with those in poverty. I give, they receive, we understand our roles and everyone goes home relatively unchanged. However, I think I'm missing something there. Before I can hope to sincerly give to others around me, especially where i live where racial and economic divisions are pronounced--I need to become familiar with a friendship, two-way relationship with those around me. What that would look like? I'm not quite sure yet. But probably rather than dolling out money or volunteer hours--it would mean asking to borrow things from neighbors, telling them my stories. Essentially the way that relatonships naturally develop.....or something like that.

Getting a Car?

Lately--at the prompting of friends, coworkers and close advisors I've been seriously considering acquiring a car.
I got back from a weekend to Williamsburg where a good friend lent me his car for the weekend. Not only was I able to stay much longer than usual--I also had the freedom of leaving at 8:30pm Friday night, and arriving in Williamsburg in almost 2 hours! During the weekend I got to see some missionary friends from Louisiana in Richmond--without the car, this wouldn't have happened.

This is something that's left me very conflicted....let me explain.

Reasons in the pro-column:
-It would ease my commute back home late nights from campus from about 1.5 hours to about 20 minutes. This would be safer sometimes--but also just improve general quality of life. Getting home at 10:30pm is much more pleasant than 12am in terms of my sleep.
-But also the sheer blessing that a car can be to others--I find often the only thing I ever need to ask others for is a ride. With a car, I could be very giving with the car--allowing students to borrow it, giving people rides to target, carrying supplies to campus, moving things from the house.

However, many reasons some together that convict me about not getting a car...
--Cost. I find it to be an issue of stewardship right now with my resources. Having a car would likely raise my monthly expenses by at least 33%--currently I have that money to spend. I probably would still end up taking the metro to work most days so that money would not necessarily all be rechannelled.
--Having my own vehicle--like the other 3 vehicles our hosue already has, would in some ways only allow me to be even more independent and evade community, getting to come and go as I please.
--parking. In georgetown, parking near campus I'd literally have to move the car every 2 hours to avoid getting a parking ticket--on a day-to-day basis this is simply not practical.
--I moved to the city to avoid having a car--at the cost of higher rent, inconvenient parking.
--Environmental issues--I am concerned about the witness of just adding another carbon dioxide producing box to the system--shouldn't I be instead buying into these systems like zipcar or things like that?
--This weekend I got to borrow a car--there are many instances, where I could enter into similar car sharing arrangements with others. This would keep us likely more dependent on others and would better utilize a resource that every single person doesn't necessarily have to own for themselves.

Just some of the thoughts swimming in my head, please add an other thoughts in the pro or con box.

Quote on Proximity and Stereotyping

I've been thinking a lot about race. It's something I'd normally not want to mention on this forum--despite my life experiences and readings, etc that have equipped me to be more comfortable talking about race....I still feel that American desire to ignore the issues, be embarassed to talk about it--or try to convince myself it "doesn't really matter anymore." However, I know this is a lie.

I've been reading a blook, "Blink" about how we should often trust our first instinct on decisions, learn to understand our snapshot thinking and hone it. Part of honing it is recognizing when our first thought is being shapped by stereotypes and judgment rather than skilled information intake.

This quote made me think about some of my aims living where I live....

"Our first impressions are generated by our experiences and our environment, which means that we can change our first impressions--we can alter the way we thin-slice--by changing the experiences that comprise those impressions.

If you are a white person who would like to treat black poeple as equals in every way--who would like to have a set of associations with black s that are as positive as those that you have with whites--it requres more than a simple commitment to equality. It requires that you change your life so that you are exposed to minorities on a regular basis and become comfortable with them and familiar with the best of their culture, so that when you want to meet, hire, date,or talk with a member of a minority, you aren't betrayed by your hesitation and discomfort.

Taking rapid cognition seriously--acknowledging the incredible power, for good and ill, that first impressions play in our lives--requires that we take active steps to manage and control those impressions."
-Malcolm Gladwell, p. 98

I love you THIS much

This week all the first three-year InterVarsity staff in our region (PA, Delaware, DC, Maryland) came together for a 2.5 day conference/training time. It’s called New Staff Training.

As with many InterVarsity staff events, we began with personal reflection time. At first this practice appeared a little quick to me—getting serious and spiritual from the beginning instead of waiting until the end when people’s lives had been changed by messages, ideas, etc. But now, we enter the time here hopefully centered in God and—for many of us this kind of reflection time acts as our time to do “our business” with God before engaging any other topic. Normally they give us an idea/passage to prompt us….and then give us about 1.5 hours alone with the Lord.

Today we were given 1 Thessalonians 1 which is a chapter where Paul writes to the Thessalonians about how much he loves and values them—and he gets specific. He values their works prompted by faith, labor from love, things like that.

We were then give the prompt to consider who in our lives would talk about us this way. Mentors? Spiritual guides from early in our lives? Who would pray for us in this way—thank God for us? What would they say about us?

For me, several names came up right away—a woman who’d worked at our church at home, the staff worker at William and Mary and Bangkok, a girl who’d mentored me through college. People who had watched me grow, prayed for me and I knew took a lot of joy in me. On a different plane, I’d also put my parents into this.

We were then supposed to think---wow, well these “human encouragers”—what they were/are thinking and praying about us this way was possible because they saw us through God’s eyes. What if God felt this way about us? What if God took that kind of joy in us or gave thanks for us similarly?

I had a difficult time entertaining that thought—it was hard to place myself into the shoes of those who had cared for me. Instead, I found it much easier to think on those people who I had watched grow and learn from God. I found it much easier to understand and identify with the emotions and desires I had for their lives than to consider how others thought that way of me.

During my time at William and Mary I was given several special relationships—people who I got to closely watch God work in their lives, develop them as people and transform their character. When I think of them still—I well-up with love and excitement. I love them with a love that I can’t understand, a love that supersedes what I probably thought possible. I smile when they come to mind.

I started listing the characteristics of how I felt about these people……
-deeply involved in their lives
-loved, cared for them, sought ways to serve them, cried with and for them
-believed in their potential
-strong desire for them to meet others I love…..and to understand/experience things that bring me joy or I’m particularly passionate about
-prioritizing their relationship over others
-eagerly listening to their thoughts and reflections
-patiently waited for them, waiting when pushed away, when meeting stubbornness
-keeping no list of wrongs/short list mentality—not holding any kind of grudge
-unchanging in my feelings, love not held in their performance, negative actions didn’t change that I loved them
-fight for their good, defend them when they’re not there
-searching out opportunities for their betterment
-willingness to go out of my way/look like a fool to demonstrate my love for them

And it hit me—hard. God had given me a bit of a glimpse into how he felt about these individuals, how He loved them very deeply. Possibly how a parent loves a child. And when I reflect that this isn’t exactly how God loves these people either---it’s only a very, small, small slice. My love is imperfect, often self-serving and ignorant of these people’s real needs. But God’s love is flawless and unchanging.

So step back……and consider that all these characteristics are instead a list of how God loves and cares for me. What if God felt these emotions about me? And not just when I did really “good” or had a sinless moment—but instead all the time—when I messed up, was really stubborn, or said hateful things to HIM?

Wow. Pretty radical, crazy love that is.

How does it change a person to be loved with that kind of love?

The Spiritual Discipline of Picking up Trash

Yesterday several Georgetown students came into my neighborhood to do a trash clean up.

At first I'd tried to be fancy--I called all the formal area Watershed societies and tried to set up something official, something where they would send out a staff member to share information with us. Hopefully then we'd also get a very neat project--something where we could feel accomplished at the end and really help change the place.

But in the end all the societies were booked for the date I needed to choose--and I felt God leading me again and again to simply go out and pick up trash on the street.

Several reasons--it's simple. It's also very needed--there is often---as we found trash bags full of litter lining just one of our neighborhood streets. I think it's also a lesson in humility. For one---we're cleaning up a mess we didn't make. One person reflected that this happens at Georgetown all the time--someone else cleans up our mess that they didn't make!

But one of the most significant things I find about picking up trash is that it's completely overwhelming. You can never be done. And if you are---well in two days the problem will look just like it does now again. I think it's a great lesson for social activists. A good reminder--you can make a small dent in a social problem--hunger, poverty, homelessness.......but at the end of the day, the problem is still daunting, and will likely resurface when you stop paying attention.

I don't see this as a reason to lose hope--except hope in ourselves as saviors of the world and instead to reconsider our means of social activism and social change to reflect the reality of Christ's ability to be the only one to really change the world--even if through us sometimes.

Nikki!

One of my best friends from middle school/high school/life has been "studying away" from UTexas Arlington this semester in Washington DC.

I'm sooo thankful to have her here. We've gotten to do a lot great things together--she's seen my house, I've seen her's. She came to my birthday party, we've been to a festival, and 2 concerts.

She's been the saving grace of my social life this semester.

Training Events

The past two days we've been to InterVarsity area training events.

Monday all the area InterVarsity staff members (from DC, Baltimore, Northern Virginia area) came to Baltimore for speaker training. We were each supposed to come with a prepared talk ready to give, manuscript in hand.

It was great to have the ability to focus for a whole day--I find often in staff life that we're trying to balance the needs and intiatives of an entire group of people--the fellowship. Finding time to give a whole day to something like speaking seems otherwise impossible.

We also talked about important issues--how to communicate Biblical truth about God in a way that's memorable. When we were students, what did we remember? We talked about bumper sticker phrases and concepts that stick out to us ("friends plus"...."chest of drawers"...."spiritual bulimia"). These things conjure up ideas and images for us. Using these will help our students learn....and also doesn't place all the pressure on us. One of the most important issues we discussed was who are we trying to glorify? Us? or God? When we're glorifying God in a talk--we're less likely to have to be showy or worry about being funny, likeable, etc.


This was good. Tuesday was also a good day of staff training. We met in our "area teams"--for me this meant meeting at my boss in Maryland's house along with the other 11 DC-area staff (from George Washington University, University of Maryland, Howard University, NOVA, St. Mary's). We talked about how New Student Orientation had gone, hopes for changes to make in the future.
Next--as is the InterVarsity staff way--we did scripture study. This lasted until lunch time. We studied from Genesis about Jacob---when God forms a covenant with him about the land--and when Jacob wrestles with God.
The ultimate question we came to pray about was "where in our personal relationships with God are we wrestling?"....meaning, where are we in a struggle with God, wanting for something in our lives to change--demanding that God bless us. The exciting thing was that God honors Jacob in his stubbornness and wrestling, demanding of the blessing, still blessing him and making a promise to be with him and not leave him.
For many of us it related to personal issues with staying in the job, romantic relationships, or uncertainty about placement or calling. I think I answered that I felt like I was wrestling with God over most of my life right now--the transition and hoping that God will meet me in my struggle, show me blessing and help it to work out.

The afternoon was a bit different. We talked about plans for our fall conference coming up, divided up responsibilities. We talked about potential scripture passages to choose for the spring conference.

Then we just got some significant time to pray for our campuses--specific students, issues where we felt we were wrestling with God.

By the evening we were all back to our campuses for Tuesday evening large groups. It was great to have the time away though--to get some perspective on the movement at large--but also to refocus that it's all about God's work on campus, not our own.

A Prophet

Last Thursday one of my friends hosted a dinner with his out of town friend---Stu, a claimed prophet.

I came in with little expectations and left probably feeling all things from surprise, healing, and skepticism.

He had a talent for holding a crowd and spoke to people individually and the group at-large with ease. He talked to one girl next to me about taking hold of the peace of God. I think he was talking about giving her advice to share with others--but he was also speaking to her. It as one of these instances where he would say "God has this to say to you...." Certainly more charismatic than my background.

I believe he opened with "what if I told you you never have to be stressed again?"

I came in tired and a little overworked from Georgetown. I did feel peace from God wash over me as he talked to the girl next to me about peace and letting God take care of problems in our lives.

Next he spoke to me directly. He said I could act as an agent of mercy and forgiveness at Georgetown--speaking the forgiveness of sins and acceptance of unconditional love of God directly into peoples lives. I do believe this would be one of the best things I could do on a campus like Georgetown--speak truth to people and have them feel and experience genuine forgiveness and acceptance. Displaying mercy.....

Besides speaking to some individuals he also talked alot about how God doesn't always have to work within a church building--he had many beliefs and lists about the components of true, good discipleship. I found this funny almost--I'd been praying that someone would help teach me how to disciple others--not just tell me to do it.
Here were his suggestions:
1) seeing the fruits of the spirit (peace, love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, selfcontrol)
2)freeing people from bondage--spiritual bondage, judgment, generational inequity
3)receive the love of God openly
4) Learn that God's love is based in his relationship with you--not in how you perform
*this reminds me of my old IV staff worker's motto Grace plus NOTHING equals right standing with God.

And once we're in this process of making disciples.....not just converts, numbers, members, where do we go next?
1) teach people to avoid things that "make void" the work of God: human tradition, attempts to earn grace, human wisdom
2) teach people kingdom finances: getting out fo debt, tithe, offering
3) basic knowledge of scriptures, teaching disciples to hear god themselves
4) teach a sense of vision for the nature of the church, the function of spiritual gifts in churches
5) teach how to be a servant to God, the people God loves, the people of God


And yet after this great session with this guy helping us experience the peace, presence and power of God......my roommate and I left and talked about being stressed and tired. Will we ever take hold of what God so readily holds out for us?

Men's Retreat

Please pray for the men of our fellowship this weekend--14 went off to a retreat in Maryland.

This year several men of the group have stepped up to be intentional about gaining and retaining male fellowship/spiritual growth in InterVarsity. We are really thankful for their passion and desire to see God work in our group this year.

They are sharing testimonies tonight and talking about how to use their time in college for God and others tomorrow.

Bringing all things together

Last week in the Ephesians Bible study I co-lead with a sophomore student we were talking about how God's plan is to bring together all things under the head of Jesus.....

Essentially we were talking about large scale reconciliation in the world.....but also reconciliation in relationships, etc.

Recently, I've been feeling very torn, pulled actually sometimes into several different directions--the needs of IV at campus, the girls in my house, Anacostia, looking for a church, DC area new monastic friends, other DC area friends, taking a fitness instructor course, getting oriented to the city, thinking of when to visit my brother and family, the list goes on.....

One of my big prayers over the past few weeks has been for some unity in my life, not this feeling that I'm needing to accomplish 50 different things in a day schedule that only allows time for 30. Overextension and the stress from that are a mark and characteristic of the overcommited culture of this city and the students I see at Georgetown daily. Especially because of this, I desire to display that stress and busyness as an attitude and reality are not the only way--that there can be peace and a way through the rubble of scheduling.

Some of the ways I've seen God beginning to pull some things together in my life.....
-seeing good friends of mine from college choose the church I think will be my out of Anacostia church.
-in our community visioning meeting, we're been talking about acting as a bridge to the rest of the city that holds a lot of stereotypes about our section of town. This pulls together home, Georgetown, and some of our other friends--and begins to alleviate some of the stress I've felt about not being as involved/known in the neighborhood as I'd like. If our purpose is possibly different, the perspective can change some too.
-seeing a lot of themes of catholicism in my life--Georgetown as a catholic school, coleading with a catholic student, probably attending a catholic church in our neighborhood, making friends with a catholic volunteer house down the street.
-having a couple of friends with flex daytime schedules. Hoping I can get together with them during some of these times to keep myself sane....and from working from 9am-midnight every day without stopping.....at least mentally taking a break.
-getting a bit more time in Anacostia weekly, allowing for me and a housemate to spend time together volunteering, making connections....and possibly some day bringing down students to join us!
-starting to feel loved and respected by students....never meant to be the goal, but it is filling some of the hole I feel from being gone from William and Mary.