Almost everytime I find out something about InterVarsity at the national level (life in the trenches, on college campuses can be far from the national picture), I am incredibly impressed and feel nothing but God's grace that I've found such a wonderful organization to work for.
For one, the commitment to missions. A couple of days ago I had a long conversation with the founder of the Global Urban Trek (the kind of trip I went on to Bangkok) about my formal 2-year commitment to urban poverty and staff work. He sees a strong potential and possibility in my ability to be influencial in both places. It was exciting to hear from someone I admire like him.
Tonight, however, we discussed InterVarsity's Multiethnic History.
Disclaimer: a Biblical view of Multiethnicity comes out of Revelation 7:9 where John describes the multitude of heaven singing out from every tribe and nation...this shows that we retain our unique cultural and lingual identity in heaven! God created diversity! So if heaven's going to be looking like a mosaic of many kinds of people, we on earth need to be getting ready for that kind of heaven.
Back to InterVarsity's multiethnic ministries. When InterVarsity came to America in the 1940s they were the first evangelical ministry to stand up for and integrate black students into their ministry. At one point during InterVarity's history, almost all the campus staff threatened to quit if the board of InterVarsity would not hire a black man as regular campus staff--to think, threatening the life of the organization. That's a kind of history I'd like to be a part of.
There is a commitment in the organization to building minority leadership and staff. We celebrated all minority Regional Directors (my Regional Director is an African-American man I believe, never met him) and national minority staff. InterVarsity, seeing smaller numbers of minority staff getting involved in high-level leadership, started holding leadership seminars/institutes for minority staff to promote considering leadership. I think this is exciting because it is one thing to say "we think having people in our group that are minorities is good" is one thing....but it's another to put weight behind that statement. InterVarsity has decided to aid minority staff in succeeding on staff, making multiethnic ministry a possibility, not just a nice idea.
All staff agree to a percentage of national overhead being self-taxed in order to create money to give to minority staff who are struggling with funding.
Urban projects are also a significant training ground for students of all ethnic backgrounds to work and live together for a summer, discovering ethnic identity and social justice issues/implications in a multiethnic community. These remain one of the most intense intermingling of students of different racial backgrounds.
InterVarsity press has published more books on racial identity and race-related topics than any other Evangelical press (including big-names like Zondervan).
I'm excited to work for this organization!
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Some thoughts on Giving
I'm here at Orientation for New Staff for my new job with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. We're in Madison, Wisconsin until next Wednesday night. The first 3-4 days of the program are devoted to fund development.
This is a topic many of us are eager to learn more about because we've been spending most of our time on fundraising. It is good to have another booster and refocusing around issues of funding and giving.
One topic that has stuck out to me over and over again is the idea of partnership in giving. This is the idea that donors are a part of the ministry--not just the means to getting us there (on campus).
When donors are a part of the ministry, it works both ways. Not only are our donors able to give to us monetarily and spiritually, providing blessing for us and teaching us to be dependent on God and trust in something other than ourselves to provide for our needs.
Also, this includes the idea that we can minister to our donors as well. We should be concerned for the spiritual development and growth not only of students on campus but also of the donors and supporters of our ministry. One donor spoke about how donors also have "unfinished business with God" and we should be open to being a part of what God wants to do in their lives.
It is not just about asking--but inviting donors into being in need before God. Giving, especially giving money taps into a lot of taboo things in our culture (asking for money, talking about money). Our relationship with money is often very tied to our relationship with God (some people I met talk about the "Big 3": sex, money, power).
Today we studied Philippians. Who knew that Philippians was actually a donor letter Paul wrote to the church in Philippi? (yes, Paul the tent maker also received donations in some occasions as well). Paul demonstrates this kind of spiritual concern for this donors. He talks about how he is not really in need of the money maybe in the way the donors may think ("I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances"). Paul primarily discusses ways that he is looking to be a part of the spiritual development of the giver--("he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ").
This plays into a lot of our insecurities. For me, thinking about the spiritual development of donors is a great conflict--seeing as almost all my supporters will be older than me. It is difficult to not think that spiritual development accompanies physical development (that all older people must be more spiritually mature than younger people). But maybe more on that later.
This is a topic many of us are eager to learn more about because we've been spending most of our time on fundraising. It is good to have another booster and refocusing around issues of funding and giving.
One topic that has stuck out to me over and over again is the idea of partnership in giving. This is the idea that donors are a part of the ministry--not just the means to getting us there (on campus).
When donors are a part of the ministry, it works both ways. Not only are our donors able to give to us monetarily and spiritually, providing blessing for us and teaching us to be dependent on God and trust in something other than ourselves to provide for our needs.
Also, this includes the idea that we can minister to our donors as well. We should be concerned for the spiritual development and growth not only of students on campus but also of the donors and supporters of our ministry. One donor spoke about how donors also have "unfinished business with God" and we should be open to being a part of what God wants to do in their lives.
It is not just about asking--but inviting donors into being in need before God. Giving, especially giving money taps into a lot of taboo things in our culture (asking for money, talking about money). Our relationship with money is often very tied to our relationship with God (some people I met talk about the "Big 3": sex, money, power).
Today we studied Philippians. Who knew that Philippians was actually a donor letter Paul wrote to the church in Philippi? (yes, Paul the tent maker also received donations in some occasions as well). Paul demonstrates this kind of spiritual concern for this donors. He talks about how he is not really in need of the money maybe in the way the donors may think ("I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances"). Paul primarily discusses ways that he is looking to be a part of the spiritual development of the giver--("he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ").
This plays into a lot of our insecurities. For me, thinking about the spiritual development of donors is a great conflict--seeing as almost all my supporters will be older than me. It is difficult to not think that spiritual development accompanies physical development (that all older people must be more spiritually mature than younger people). But maybe more on that later.
Monday, June 18, 2007
6/18/2007: Wendell Berry: Alarmist or Prophet?
I recently relented and finally picked up a copy of “Sex, Economy, Freedom, and Community,” a collection of essays by Kentucky farmer/essayist Wendell Berry.
One of the communities I visited last summer showed a lot of respect for Berry and his general philosophy. They respected his attention to issues of environment and creation, all-sides Christian approach, and desire to “live locally.”
Berry is an avid enthusiast of the local life. As a farmer, he believes in reestablishing the ties that connect people to production—connect people to where their food and products originate—and where their waste ends up. In this way, if all of a community understood and practiced an understanding of being tied to a local place—our “environmental (he finds the term itself absurd, too global in scope)” would be greatly improved. He largely believes Christians cannot, in good faith, participate in the “industrial economy”—but that it is also very dangerous to ignore this idea of economy, believing faith to only be about the thought life or beliefs.
His desire to focus on the local life and connecting people to production sometimes leads me to believe he’s just asking for the “good old days” when communities were not corrupted, people lived and farmed on family land, and families were intact. Possibly he is a bit extreme in believing reestablishing ties to nature would un-do so much of this wrong. Of course, I don’t believe his philosophy is that simple.
However, I am wary of what appear to be “one-dimensional”—just personal solutions to problems. If we all change the way we run our household economies—if we all change the way we approach enemies—that that will solve these larger problems (I would say global, but the man also rejects the notion of thinking globally as absurd).
It’s oddly the same question and suspicion I have about the community I visited. They believed strongly in secession from the economy and creation of sustainable local economies of Christians living out on the margins, separate from life. Am a disbelieving God by thinking this is simply impractical? Or wondering why they cannot look at changing laws?
It is questions like these that make me wary of the Christian Anarchists. However, there is something largely enticing and romantic about this notion of rejecting all other influences except God and radically separating out—even if it is on an urban corner. Maybe it feels pure—closer to what might be the way of God.
A BERRY QUOTE: “The complicity of Christian priests, preachers, and missionaries in the cultural destruction and the economic exploitation of the primary peoples of the Western Hemisphere, as of traditional cultures around the world, is notorious. Throughout the five hundred years since Columbus’s first landfall in the Bahamas, the evangelist has walked beside the conqueror and the merchant, too often blandly assuming that their causes were the same. Christian organizations, to this day, remain largely indifferent to the rape and plunder of the world and of its traditional cultures. It is hardly too much to say that most Christian organizations are as happily indifferent to the ecological, cultural, and religious implications of industrial economics as are most industrial organizations. The certified Christian seems just as likely as anyone else to join the military-industrial conspiracy to murder Creation.”
One of the communities I visited last summer showed a lot of respect for Berry and his general philosophy. They respected his attention to issues of environment and creation, all-sides Christian approach, and desire to “live locally.”
Berry is an avid enthusiast of the local life. As a farmer, he believes in reestablishing the ties that connect people to production—connect people to where their food and products originate—and where their waste ends up. In this way, if all of a community understood and practiced an understanding of being tied to a local place—our “environmental (he finds the term itself absurd, too global in scope)” would be greatly improved. He largely believes Christians cannot, in good faith, participate in the “industrial economy”—but that it is also very dangerous to ignore this idea of economy, believing faith to only be about the thought life or beliefs.
His desire to focus on the local life and connecting people to production sometimes leads me to believe he’s just asking for the “good old days” when communities were not corrupted, people lived and farmed on family land, and families were intact. Possibly he is a bit extreme in believing reestablishing ties to nature would un-do so much of this wrong. Of course, I don’t believe his philosophy is that simple.
However, I am wary of what appear to be “one-dimensional”—just personal solutions to problems. If we all change the way we run our household economies—if we all change the way we approach enemies—that that will solve these larger problems (I would say global, but the man also rejects the notion of thinking globally as absurd).
It’s oddly the same question and suspicion I have about the community I visited. They believed strongly in secession from the economy and creation of sustainable local economies of Christians living out on the margins, separate from life. Am a disbelieving God by thinking this is simply impractical? Or wondering why they cannot look at changing laws?
It is questions like these that make me wary of the Christian Anarchists. However, there is something largely enticing and romantic about this notion of rejecting all other influences except God and radically separating out—even if it is on an urban corner. Maybe it feels pure—closer to what might be the way of God.
A BERRY QUOTE: “The complicity of Christian priests, preachers, and missionaries in the cultural destruction and the economic exploitation of the primary peoples of the Western Hemisphere, as of traditional cultures around the world, is notorious. Throughout the five hundred years since Columbus’s first landfall in the Bahamas, the evangelist has walked beside the conqueror and the merchant, too often blandly assuming that their causes were the same. Christian organizations, to this day, remain largely indifferent to the rape and plunder of the world and of its traditional cultures. It is hardly too much to say that most Christian organizations are as happily indifferent to the ecological, cultural, and religious implications of industrial economics as are most industrial organizations. The certified Christian seems just as likely as anyone else to join the military-industrial conspiracy to murder Creation.”
6/13/2007: Nutrient Deficiency in the House?
So like any college student home for a long summer with less than normal social interaction—I am always in search of new ways to occupy my time. Also as a certified multi-tasker I have a difficulty doing just one thing at once—I’ve heard it’s a woman thing.
So in the midst of all my InterVarsity thank you notes and regular communication, I went to the Southlake library and looked for a movie to check out.
One problem—I don’t like movies. But I do like watching TV programs—especially on DVD format—no commercials, no waiting a week. Great especially for those series that don’t have any definite plot line from episode to episode as well. Shows like CSI fit this format well—so does HOUSE my recent TV program of choice.
In one week I managed to watch two entire seasons of the show—approximately 24 or more episodes? I’m not really sure. But it’s taken a small toll on my psyche.
It’s a doctor’s diagnostics show. He gets cases of what they believe to be one ailment—only to discover another much more exciting reason for the person’s hospitalization. This has left me thinking disaster will strike at any moment. When someone sneezes—do they really have a strange tropical disease? Or—as common in the show—are they hiding some pregnancy or drug addiction from those around them?
So to set the stage, here comes me feeling rather weak this past week. I started thinking up all the odd things that could be wrong with me. I also started investigating the ins and outs of a vegetarian diet and its effects on nutrient levels.
After googling “light headed” and “vegetarian” I found the likely culprit—an Iron deficiency. I went to the store and bought a multivitamin. But I can’t help but wonder if it’s actually some other crazy problem with my body instead…..
So in the midst of all my InterVarsity thank you notes and regular communication, I went to the Southlake library and looked for a movie to check out.
One problem—I don’t like movies. But I do like watching TV programs—especially on DVD format—no commercials, no waiting a week. Great especially for those series that don’t have any definite plot line from episode to episode as well. Shows like CSI fit this format well—so does HOUSE my recent TV program of choice.
In one week I managed to watch two entire seasons of the show—approximately 24 or more episodes? I’m not really sure. But it’s taken a small toll on my psyche.
It’s a doctor’s diagnostics show. He gets cases of what they believe to be one ailment—only to discover another much more exciting reason for the person’s hospitalization. This has left me thinking disaster will strike at any moment. When someone sneezes—do they really have a strange tropical disease? Or—as common in the show—are they hiding some pregnancy or drug addiction from those around them?
So to set the stage, here comes me feeling rather weak this past week. I started thinking up all the odd things that could be wrong with me. I also started investigating the ins and outs of a vegetarian diet and its effects on nutrient levels.
After googling “light headed” and “vegetarian” I found the likely culprit—an Iron deficiency. I went to the store and bought a multivitamin. But I can’t help but wonder if it’s actually some other crazy problem with my body instead…..
Friday, June 01, 2007
Chance meeting
So living this far out away from William and Mary, I rarely get to see people from school during breaks. Actually, in the past I have only been able to see people when I traveled to their areas to meet them.
Yesterday, on their drive back from Big Bend National Park in west Texas my friends Eric and Chris came within 35 minutes of my home!
It was really great to see these guys, even for only a short dinner! They seemed to be enjoying all that Texas had to offer--including an internal border patrol.......? Funny for Chris who's a British citizen.
Made for a good Friday evening activity. Thanks guys!
Yesterday, on their drive back from Big Bend National Park in west Texas my friends Eric and Chris came within 35 minutes of my home!
It was really great to see these guys, even for only a short dinner! They seemed to be enjoying all that Texas had to offer--including an internal border patrol.......? Funny for Chris who's a British citizen.
Made for a good Friday evening activity. Thanks guys!
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Why is calling so hard?
I've never really liked talking on the phone--sure, when I was in middle school I talked to friends for hours on the phone or we got together and called boys from our 6th grade class.....but by this point in my life its not one of my favorite pasttimes.
This upcoming job coupled with graduating is requiring me to make many more phone calls than any other time in my recent life. Somehow I get kind of nervous before I dial--even if I'm just calling a friend to talk. I put it off all day long. I have this daunting list of "to dos"--that in reality are only 3 phone calls. Some total all of 5 minutes, others maybe 45. What's with that?
This upcoming job coupled with graduating is requiring me to make many more phone calls than any other time in my recent life. Somehow I get kind of nervous before I dial--even if I'm just calling a friend to talk. I put it off all day long. I have this daunting list of "to dos"--that in reality are only 3 phone calls. Some total all of 5 minutes, others maybe 45. What's with that?
Monday, May 28, 2007
Last Semester of College
Getting on the plane this last time (minus my two emergency home visits this month), I pulled out my calendar and journal and began my semester "list of events"
Some highlights:
-studying for the LSAT, getting the same score 8-9 times
-Wren Cross explosion, speaking for an audience, the Religious Committee
-braving the Performance Art Ensemble Class
-becoming good friends with a freshman girl
-stopped eating meat, went off meal plan
-Laura home more--and in my classes!
-somewhat successfully completed a speed-reading class
-interviewed and hired for InterVarsity, meet new DC people each time
-IJM: Nik acting wonderfully as the new president
-following Rebecca around as she planned for spring break service trips
-spring break cruise to bahamas
-running a safezone training for Christians
-Senior class gift events
-sober mug nights
-coming home for two funerals, realizing I have a lot of love and friends in my life
-Laura's bachelorette party
-finishing an honors thesis
-Queen of England comes to WM
Thoughts/important verses:
-learning to balance the need for community and sharing with over-indulging or bragging
-learning to be excited and hopeful about the future, grateful I have opportunities
-understanding the limits and temptations of worldly power and recognition
"coming out of Babylon," beware of the Philistines in our lives
-1 John 4:15-18--there is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
-Psalm 119: 32--I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free.
-2 Corinthians 10:5--we demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up agains the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
-Eccel. 5:7-wisdom and knowledge are nothing compared to standing in awe of God.
Some highlights:
-studying for the LSAT, getting the same score 8-9 times
-Wren Cross explosion, speaking for an audience, the Religious Committee
-braving the Performance Art Ensemble Class
-becoming good friends with a freshman girl
-stopped eating meat, went off meal plan
-Laura home more--and in my classes!
-somewhat successfully completed a speed-reading class
-interviewed and hired for InterVarsity, meet new DC people each time
-IJM: Nik acting wonderfully as the new president
-following Rebecca around as she planned for spring break service trips
-spring break cruise to bahamas
-running a safezone training for Christians
-Senior class gift events
-sober mug nights
-coming home for two funerals, realizing I have a lot of love and friends in my life
-Laura's bachelorette party
-finishing an honors thesis
-Queen of England comes to WM
Thoughts/important verses:
-learning to balance the need for community and sharing with over-indulging or bragging
-learning to be excited and hopeful about the future, grateful I have opportunities
-understanding the limits and temptations of worldly power and recognition
"coming out of Babylon," beware of the Philistines in our lives
-1 John 4:15-18--there is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
-Psalm 119: 32--I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free.
-2 Corinthians 10:5--we demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up agains the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
-Eccel. 5:7-wisdom and knowledge are nothing compared to standing in awe of God.
Back!
After a 2 month hiatus, I am hoping to keep this blog going this summer--and beyond.
After this summer, I will be joining InterVarsity Christian Fellowship as campus staff at Georgetown University in Washington DC. I hope to keep this site up-to-date for friends to keep in touch with what's going on in the DC area.
After this summer, I will be joining InterVarsity Christian Fellowship as campus staff at Georgetown University in Washington DC. I hope to keep this site up-to-date for friends to keep in touch with what's going on in the DC area.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Praying for Shoes
Ever prayed for something just odd?
I don't do it often, probably not often enough actually.
A few months ago, I started praying about my shoes. I have this pair of shoes I just "had to have" when I was 14. They cost well over $100 at the time. Now I don't wear them, mostly because they weigh way too much to literally "tote" around campus--about 10 pounds total.
I started praying that God would give me something to do with these shoes. I know I shouldn't own them anymore. But I also wasn't satisfied just sending them off with the collection box--I wanted to believe....for once, that if I asked, God would show up.....and give me something to do with these shoes.
I was at first thinking along the lines of the relational tithe....I'd meet someone who really needed shoes....and instead of throwing off my cheapest shoes, well I'd pick the most expensive pair I've ever owned. Maybe this was a bit extreme. I remember an instance in Bangkok where a young boy's flip flops broke......I felt overwhelmed to offer him my own shoes. He declined....but for a second, I had to panic......my only pair of sandals for the summer.....well, gone. Not really that crazy.
But then the other day the campus crusade people started talking about doing a Badmitton tournament. I couldn't go--I'll be out of town. But the fundraiser is "Shoes for Souls"--some kind of ministry, somewhere. Probably like Williamsburg Community Chapel's collection of eye glasses.
Regardless........here's my chance, goodbye Doc Martens.
I don't do it often, probably not often enough actually.
A few months ago, I started praying about my shoes. I have this pair of shoes I just "had to have" when I was 14. They cost well over $100 at the time. Now I don't wear them, mostly because they weigh way too much to literally "tote" around campus--about 10 pounds total.
I started praying that God would give me something to do with these shoes. I know I shouldn't own them anymore. But I also wasn't satisfied just sending them off with the collection box--I wanted to believe....for once, that if I asked, God would show up.....and give me something to do with these shoes.
I was at first thinking along the lines of the relational tithe....I'd meet someone who really needed shoes....and instead of throwing off my cheapest shoes, well I'd pick the most expensive pair I've ever owned. Maybe this was a bit extreme. I remember an instance in Bangkok where a young boy's flip flops broke......I felt overwhelmed to offer him my own shoes. He declined....but for a second, I had to panic......my only pair of sandals for the summer.....well, gone. Not really that crazy.
But then the other day the campus crusade people started talking about doing a Badmitton tournament. I couldn't go--I'll be out of town. But the fundraiser is "Shoes for Souls"--some kind of ministry, somewhere. Probably like Williamsburg Community Chapel's collection of eye glasses.
Regardless........here's my chance, goodbye Doc Martens.
Friday, March 16, 2007
Vegetarianism: some thoughts
Wendell Berry, a Christian ethicist and Kentucky farmer writes often on the industrial economy and Christian's responsibility to the earth.
He remarks city people often ask him "what city people can do?"
He answers.... [quotation from here forward]
"Eat responsibilty," I have usually answered. Of course, I have tried to explain what I meant by that, but afterwards I have invariably felt that there were more to be said that I had been able to say. Now I would like to attempt a better explanation.
I begin with the proposition that eating is an agricultural act. Eating ends the annual drama of the food economy that begins with planting and birth. Most eaters, however, are no longer aware that this is true. They think of food as an agricultural product, perhaps, but they do not think of themselves as "consumers." If they think beyond that, they recognize that they are passive consumers. They buy what they want--or what they have been persuaded to want--within the limits of what they can get.
Most urban shoppers would tell you that food is produced on farms. But most of them do not know what farms, or what kinds of farms, or where farms are, or what knowledge or skills are involved in farming.
The specialization of production induces specialization of consumption. Patrons of the entertainment industry, for example, entertain themselves less and less and have become more and more passively dependent on commerical suppliers. This is certainly true also of patrons of the food industry, who have tended more and more to be mere consumers--passive, uncritical, and dependent. Indeed, this sort of consumption may be said to be one of the chief goals of industrial production.
The trap is the ideal of industrialism: a walled city surrounded by valves that let merchandise in but no consciousness out. How does one escape this trap? Only voluntarily, the same way that one went in: by resorting one's conscioueness of what is involved in eating; by reclaiming responsibility for one's own part in the food economy. Eaters, that is, must understand that eating takes place inescapably in the world, that is inescapably an agricultural act, and that how we eat determins, to a considerable extend, how the world is used.
[end quote]
He remarks city people often ask him "what city people can do?"
He answers.... [quotation from here forward]
"Eat responsibilty," I have usually answered. Of course, I have tried to explain what I meant by that, but afterwards I have invariably felt that there were more to be said that I had been able to say. Now I would like to attempt a better explanation.
I begin with the proposition that eating is an agricultural act. Eating ends the annual drama of the food economy that begins with planting and birth. Most eaters, however, are no longer aware that this is true. They think of food as an agricultural product, perhaps, but they do not think of themselves as "consumers." If they think beyond that, they recognize that they are passive consumers. They buy what they want--or what they have been persuaded to want--within the limits of what they can get.
Most urban shoppers would tell you that food is produced on farms. But most of them do not know what farms, or what kinds of farms, or where farms are, or what knowledge or skills are involved in farming.
The specialization of production induces specialization of consumption. Patrons of the entertainment industry, for example, entertain themselves less and less and have become more and more passively dependent on commerical suppliers. This is certainly true also of patrons of the food industry, who have tended more and more to be mere consumers--passive, uncritical, and dependent. Indeed, this sort of consumption may be said to be one of the chief goals of industrial production.
The trap is the ideal of industrialism: a walled city surrounded by valves that let merchandise in but no consciousness out. How does one escape this trap? Only voluntarily, the same way that one went in: by resorting one's conscioueness of what is involved in eating; by reclaiming responsibility for one's own part in the food economy. Eaters, that is, must understand that eating takes place inescapably in the world, that is inescapably an agricultural act, and that how we eat determins, to a considerable extend, how the world is used.
[end quote]
Cruising USA?
For spring break I took a cruise with 11 of my friends to the Bahamas.
We had a good time, getting to hang out on the beach, eat tons of food (there's 3-4 course meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner....plus ice cream/pizza 24 hours a day), and lay around....and for me, read tons. It was a good option for togetherness that didn't require a lot of planning or extra effort.
Cruises are oddities for many reasons. In some ways its like getting Las Vegas or Atlantic City stuck on a boat, casinos, alcohol, and tons of food all at your finger tips....ohh and all the crazy shows. The 80s show, the best. There was sushi, ice cream, oatmeal, cake, fruit, and pizza all the time.
The crew on the cruise comes from all over the world--so say their name tags. Sometimes we wondered if there was a correlation between what kinds of jobs people on the cruise had and their nationalities. I wondered about the ethics of their labor practices, people living on a boat for several months at a time, something to investigate. We wondered about what they thought of us---indulgent, glutenous Americans, all "being served" by them....to our heart's desires, ordering sometimes 5 and 6 things at breakfast or dinner. Did they think we were all greedy, soon to be fat people? I think it'd be a hard job. And that's just the service jobs. Those of the people in the entertainment parts of the ship---it'd be hard to act that happy all the time. However, the crazed karyokee girl seemed to enjoy her life making a spectacle of herself fairly well.
It was an interesting experience for many reasons, and for the sake of sounding/knowing I'm a horrible snob, I won't divulge too far into that train of thought.
But don't get me wrong, it was a great vacation experience--just led me to consider the system at work as well.
We had a good time, getting to hang out on the beach, eat tons of food (there's 3-4 course meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner....plus ice cream/pizza 24 hours a day), and lay around....and for me, read tons. It was a good option for togetherness that didn't require a lot of planning or extra effort.
Cruises are oddities for many reasons. In some ways its like getting Las Vegas or Atlantic City stuck on a boat, casinos, alcohol, and tons of food all at your finger tips....ohh and all the crazy shows. The 80s show, the best. There was sushi, ice cream, oatmeal, cake, fruit, and pizza all the time.
The crew on the cruise comes from all over the world--so say their name tags. Sometimes we wondered if there was a correlation between what kinds of jobs people on the cruise had and their nationalities. I wondered about the ethics of their labor practices, people living on a boat for several months at a time, something to investigate. We wondered about what they thought of us---indulgent, glutenous Americans, all "being served" by them....to our heart's desires, ordering sometimes 5 and 6 things at breakfast or dinner. Did they think we were all greedy, soon to be fat people? I think it'd be a hard job. And that's just the service jobs. Those of the people in the entertainment parts of the ship---it'd be hard to act that happy all the time. However, the crazed karyokee girl seemed to enjoy her life making a spectacle of herself fairly well.
It was an interesting experience for many reasons, and for the sake of sounding/knowing I'm a horrible snob, I won't divulge too far into that train of thought.
But don't get me wrong, it was a great vacation experience--just led me to consider the system at work as well.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Fear and the Future
One of my good friends recently told me that fear is rooted in selfishness. The more I consider this, the more I agree. Often its a selfishness that says I think where I am and what I'm doing is better than what God has for my future. And that's selfish....and just plain stupid too.
This was part of thinking about how to face the future as an adventure, a next step and not a reason or an excuse to look back with regret or weepy eyes.
What if I faced every day of my future like my road trip this summer....excited to meet new people, and not letting who I've "left behind" fill my mind and keep me from enjoying life and new experiences.
However, there's a flip side to all of this. I recognize that this kind of mentality leaves us very very good at being where we are, with people around us. Is this the way things are supposed to be? Is that how God intended for us, to fill up the relationships around us?
But then Jesus had friends he saw and then thought of while he was gone (Lazarus)...and Paul, well he wrote to people often....I guess from prison. And of course, different times.
But really, now how in this modern world with all the conveniences of communication, are we supposed to face relationships? keep up with friends? How many of us have over 600 facebook friends.....and that's just poeple who are our own age.....
what do you do with that? How do you maintain relationships? Do you pick....say 10 and hope those are the ones that work......or create a rotating "call list"......I don't know.
I like to be where I am.....but there are people who are near and dear to me who are not constantly in front of my face, I've learned to communicate long-distance with my family well....but friends, I've been pretty awful. hmmm
This was part of thinking about how to face the future as an adventure, a next step and not a reason or an excuse to look back with regret or weepy eyes.
What if I faced every day of my future like my road trip this summer....excited to meet new people, and not letting who I've "left behind" fill my mind and keep me from enjoying life and new experiences.
However, there's a flip side to all of this. I recognize that this kind of mentality leaves us very very good at being where we are, with people around us. Is this the way things are supposed to be? Is that how God intended for us, to fill up the relationships around us?
But then Jesus had friends he saw and then thought of while he was gone (Lazarus)...and Paul, well he wrote to people often....I guess from prison. And of course, different times.
But really, now how in this modern world with all the conveniences of communication, are we supposed to face relationships? keep up with friends? How many of us have over 600 facebook friends.....and that's just poeple who are our own age.....
what do you do with that? How do you maintain relationships? Do you pick....say 10 and hope those are the ones that work......or create a rotating "call list"......I don't know.
I like to be where I am.....but there are people who are near and dear to me who are not constantly in front of my face, I've learned to communicate long-distance with my family well....but friends, I've been pretty awful. hmmm
Monday, February 19, 2007
Dreams are nothing next to standing in Awe
For in a multitude of dreams there is futility and worthlessness, and ruin in a flood of words. But reverently fear God revere and worship Him, knowing that He is.
-Ecclesiasties 5:7
-Ecclesiasties 5:7
2/19/2007: Fighting for the Win?
Sometimes I wonder how Christians can ever justify a political "fight" or stance. It seems contrary to the nature of Christians to be crusading or promoting for any cause of any kind.
I fear, being someone easily excited about politics and debate, that I can begin purusing the win, over pursuing God or something of his greater character.
I think the greatest danger in pursuing the win has to do with the inevitable beating-the other side portion of winning. To win, someone must lose. It is disheartening to see people starting to mark up tallies, deciding who's coming up "better" than the other, or who holds the upper hand. When we focus on beating someone else, for whatever reason, we cease to love them. We cease to see them as children of God, only as another pawn in a cause.
We see people plotting other's demise, Christian people plotting the demise of other Christians (is the hand revolting on the foot, cutting its own disordered body apart). It hurts. I'm not proposing that Jesus was always a pacifist, though, maybe he was--just not in a lie-down-and-get-hurt kind of way.
pray for unity of the body.
I fear, being someone easily excited about politics and debate, that I can begin purusing the win, over pursuing God or something of his greater character.
I think the greatest danger in pursuing the win has to do with the inevitable beating-the other side portion of winning. To win, someone must lose. It is disheartening to see people starting to mark up tallies, deciding who's coming up "better" than the other, or who holds the upper hand. When we focus on beating someone else, for whatever reason, we cease to love them. We cease to see them as children of God, only as another pawn in a cause.
We see people plotting other's demise, Christian people plotting the demise of other Christians (is the hand revolting on the foot, cutting its own disordered body apart). It hurts. I'm not proposing that Jesus was always a pacifist, though, maybe he was--just not in a lie-down-and-get-hurt kind of way.
pray for unity of the body.
2/17/2007: Morning Stillness
Something beautiful I’ve started practicing this year, having my own kitchen and apartment, I enjoy long mornings sitting by myself, doing devotions and enjoying the quiet of the morning. I’m not normally someone who likes spending time by myself, but this morning time has become precious to me. It’s nice to live as those this is my home, able to eat and read the Bible in the morning in pajamas, relaxing into the day instead of having to rush to take a shower first thing as I’ve done every other year in college.
I guess its just one of those parts of learning what you like in life and who you want to become.
I guess its just one of those parts of learning what you like in life and who you want to become.
2/16/07: Back on that Train....
I love the freedom of public transportation, the freedom to spend the time doing something else or enjoying watching the world and scenery go by—instead of driving and needing to concentrate. Of course, it leads to contemplation. And thanks to Amtrak, there are plugs for computers—so a place to catalogue thoughts. I head to Washington, DC again. This time for the “real thing” interview. We’ll see. Another one of those things I’m a bit apprehensive to discuss and divulge into in front of an internet audience (what of 1, 2….haha who knows?).
My perfect vision of a partying, freeing second semester senior year has yet to take root. This is starting to concern me a bit. Last weekend I took the LSAT, of course that was a lot of time and preparation. Then after that it was time take care of everything I hadn’t done instead of the LSAT—honors thesis, namely and a midterm and lecture to read for.
But of course, the life of all other organizations rolls on as well—this coming week after 3 days out of town, I come back to a long evening showing Invisible Children, a Honors Presentation in front of my advisors and friends, and culminating in Mortar Board’s selection evening (I hear to expect to stay for 5 hours….wow). Well at least my academic work isn’t taking up too much of my time. Of course, minus that measly thesis….
Well there’s the laundry list of life. The emotions and real stuff of life leaves me holding the hard emotions at arm’s length. I feel like my closest relationships are really starting to make sense and come to the point of honesty and love I’ve looked for all my life—roommates, other close friends….and its some sick joke that I’ll be so far from these people in 3 month’s time. I don’t have the emotional strength to start withdrawing now, which is good.
Its so hard to remember that God has timing for everything. There’s a time for me to become really close to my roommate this semester—after we’ve known each other for 3.5 other years…..and that’s ok. That’s hard for me to grasp. I want to believe that we should’ve gotten it together a long time ago—but to realize maybe this was God’s timing for our lives. That’s hard to comprehend. And sometimes hurts, why do I get her this close for a year—and not, well 10 or 20? Why does she have to move West? Just to take one example.
And not to even mention, the 3 or 4 close friends of mine who are abroad/living away this semester. Why now? What will happen in the future.
I think I have such a hard time believing that I will find and experience these good of friendships ever again in the future, that God has a plan for new sets of inspiring, loving, supportive people for the rest of my life. That’s hard to believe in the moment when I love these people and would be perfectly content taking them with me for the rest of my lives.
But, to discount how thankful I should feel for all the love and support in my life---well that’d just be silly. God is good. I am so thankful for the relationships in my life—but also for the new relationships coming up even this semester. I’ve gotten to know this lovely freshman girl who lights up my life.
My perfect vision of a partying, freeing second semester senior year has yet to take root. This is starting to concern me a bit. Last weekend I took the LSAT, of course that was a lot of time and preparation. Then after that it was time take care of everything I hadn’t done instead of the LSAT—honors thesis, namely and a midterm and lecture to read for.
But of course, the life of all other organizations rolls on as well—this coming week after 3 days out of town, I come back to a long evening showing Invisible Children, a Honors Presentation in front of my advisors and friends, and culminating in Mortar Board’s selection evening (I hear to expect to stay for 5 hours….wow). Well at least my academic work isn’t taking up too much of my time. Of course, minus that measly thesis….
Well there’s the laundry list of life. The emotions and real stuff of life leaves me holding the hard emotions at arm’s length. I feel like my closest relationships are really starting to make sense and come to the point of honesty and love I’ve looked for all my life—roommates, other close friends….and its some sick joke that I’ll be so far from these people in 3 month’s time. I don’t have the emotional strength to start withdrawing now, which is good.
Its so hard to remember that God has timing for everything. There’s a time for me to become really close to my roommate this semester—after we’ve known each other for 3.5 other years…..and that’s ok. That’s hard for me to grasp. I want to believe that we should’ve gotten it together a long time ago—but to realize maybe this was God’s timing for our lives. That’s hard to comprehend. And sometimes hurts, why do I get her this close for a year—and not, well 10 or 20? Why does she have to move West? Just to take one example.
And not to even mention, the 3 or 4 close friends of mine who are abroad/living away this semester. Why now? What will happen in the future.
I think I have such a hard time believing that I will find and experience these good of friendships ever again in the future, that God has a plan for new sets of inspiring, loving, supportive people for the rest of my life. That’s hard to believe in the moment when I love these people and would be perfectly content taking them with me for the rest of my lives.
But, to discount how thankful I should feel for all the love and support in my life---well that’d just be silly. God is good. I am so thankful for the relationships in my life—but also for the new relationships coming up even this semester. I’ve gotten to know this lovely freshman girl who lights up my life.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
LSAT over!
Took my first official LSAT Saturday, thank the Lord its over. Could be much ado about nothing...but really, who knows?
When it comes to law school, UTexas and Rutgers somehow are the only ones that come to mind....interesting combination....and I might have a chance of getting in too!
Well, let it be known this is not the immediate plan for my life though.
Other life highlights....
--Some more cross-related action going on with the BOV on campus and some zealous activists on either side....can't really talk about that here, but its become a big part of my life
--attempting to get back into writing this thesis again after several more weeks of neglect
--attending Peace Hill, liking getting to know all kinds of people there--and seeing great people like Allison back in town!
--Great dinner with 2 girls interested in New Monasticism--one I've known since a freshman seminar on God and the Protest Novel...and another kindred spirit who transfered last year....we had our last 2 good talks before this in dorm kitchens....funny that.
Life is good, senior year is much busier than I ever expected....or really wanted it to be. Hopefully after this weekend's interview (IV in DC)...I can settle down a little and chill out more. However, looking back, I've definitely had more crazy semesters than this.
When it comes to law school, UTexas and Rutgers somehow are the only ones that come to mind....interesting combination....and I might have a chance of getting in too!
Well, let it be known this is not the immediate plan for my life though.
Other life highlights....
--Some more cross-related action going on with the BOV on campus and some zealous activists on either side....can't really talk about that here, but its become a big part of my life
--attempting to get back into writing this thesis again after several more weeks of neglect
--attending Peace Hill, liking getting to know all kinds of people there--and seeing great people like Allison back in town!
--Great dinner with 2 girls interested in New Monasticism--one I've known since a freshman seminar on God and the Protest Novel...and another kindred spirit who transfered last year....we had our last 2 good talks before this in dorm kitchens....funny that.
Life is good, senior year is much busier than I ever expected....or really wanted it to be. Hopefully after this weekend's interview (IV in DC)...I can settle down a little and chill out more. However, looking back, I've definitely had more crazy semesters than this.
LSAT over!
Took my first official LSAT Saturday, thank the Lord its over. Could be much ado about nothing...but really, who knows?
When it comes to law school, UTexas and Rutgers somehow are the only ones that come to mind....interesting combination....and I might have a chance of getting in too!
Well, let it be known this is not the immediate plan for my life though.
Other life highlights....
--Some more cross-related action going on with the BOV on campus and some zealous activists on either side....can't really talk about that here, but its become a big part of my life
--attempting to get back into writing this thesis again after several more weeks of neglect
--attending Peace Hill, liking getting to know all kinds of people there--and seeing great people like Allison back in town!
--Great dinner with 2 girls interested in New Monasticism--one I've known since a freshman seminar on God and the Protest Novel...and another kindred spirit who transfered last year....we had our last 2 good talks before this in dorm kitchens....funny that.
Life is good, senior year is much busier than I ever expected....or really wanted it to be. Hopefully after this weekend's interview (IV in DC)...I can settle down a little and chill out more. However, looking back, I've definitely had more crazy semesters than this.
When it comes to law school, UTexas and Rutgers somehow are the only ones that come to mind....interesting combination....and I might have a chance of getting in too!
Well, let it be known this is not the immediate plan for my life though.
Other life highlights....
--Some more cross-related action going on with the BOV on campus and some zealous activists on either side....can't really talk about that here, but its become a big part of my life
--attempting to get back into writing this thesis again after several more weeks of neglect
--attending Peace Hill, liking getting to know all kinds of people there--and seeing great people like Allison back in town!
--Great dinner with 2 girls interested in New Monasticism--one I've known since a freshman seminar on God and the Protest Novel...and another kindred spirit who transfered last year....we had our last 2 good talks before this in dorm kitchens....funny that.
Life is good, senior year is much busier than I ever expected....or really wanted it to be. Hopefully after this weekend's interview (IV in DC)...I can settle down a little and chill out more. However, looking back, I've definitely had more crazy semesters than this.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
I am Growing....
Sometimes its amazing to just sit back and consider the person we've become.
To consider what we've learned about life, love, and relating to those around us. I'm amazed by God's ability to emotionally mature us, baby step after baby step.
I am so blessed. My life is so full and there are so many amazing people with amazing talents and love in it. Thank you Jesus!
To consider what we've learned about life, love, and relating to those around us. I'm amazed by God's ability to emotionally mature us, baby step after baby step.
I am so blessed. My life is so full and there are so many amazing people with amazing talents and love in it. Thank you Jesus!
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
A New Class
So this Monday, in the spirit of trying to take only 12 credits this semester, I decided I would try out another 1-credit course. My goal originally was to get 3 1credit classes....and that would take the place of a regular 3-hr class.
So I have percussion ensemble, pilates/conditioning, America in the World--a seminar class that meets 4 times, and now Performance Art Ensemble. So yes, that's actually 4 1-credit courses. I want to get rid of one--but the one I want to be rid of--well its the one I should probably stay in the most.
I went to Performance Art Ensemble Monday night from 7 to 9:30pm, expecting to get some pointers on how to be a better musician--even getting to work with dancers, etc...but all in the context of me behind my marimba.....and without having to really do much more work. The goal here was to score some for-sure practice time for my upcoming solo performance later this spring.
However, this is not what I encountered. This class has about 20 people in it, who for one, all appear to be friends with one another--but also are very artsy-performing types. This I am not, I am a shy and reserved---well largely inhibited person. Normally this doesn't embarass me--I don't dance much, I don't make loud displays of myself. And I consider this to be my personality. And to be ok.
So here's what we had to do--first, everyone says why they're in the class. Some people are there because of music,....well me and like 1 other person, but most are there because of general art interests in certain movements, etc. I tell them now that i am shy--just to get my comment out there for my own benefit at least. Next, we need to get into partners and do something that's relatively easy that will shock people, this....well not so easy for me. I don't think on my feet. So my partner drops his pants, exposing his boxers....shocking. I sit and well do nothing. It didn't differ too much from the other displays.
The most intense part of the class we worked individually--and had to consider something that we did not like to talk about, made us uncomfortable or we didn't like. And then we had to get up and talk about it nonstop for 1 minute. This was very interesting--we had confessions of love affairs, people confronting others in the class, talk about poo, orgasms, and myself talking about why I was afraid of taking this class. That it made me embarassed that I couldn't just be free and let go and do stupid things---and its one of the things I least like to talk about--who wants to admit that they're not laid back and cool?
But what about when I'm thrown into a situation that causes me to have to reconsider that part of myself--maybe I need to learn to be able to let it loose sometimes, act and be silly a little---and in the context of performance, being vulnerable to criticism....instead of just around friends as I would usually consider myself to be silly or uninhibited.
This class began to represent much of what I have spent my past 3.5 years being validated at NOT being...I am organized, scheduled, precise, opinionated--and well, put together. I have succeeded at doing the right things, at the right times....and climbing the social and otherwise campus ladder in other ways. But this was all called into question--the fact that I have an excell spreadsheet of my life---well, that will not make me a more successful student in this class. I'd venture ot say I'm the only one in there who walks around with such a thing.
SO I'm not completely sold--in some ways it feels like a waste of time, like an immature use of 2.5 hours....but I know that it will challenge me deeply to sit through this weekly....and stand up and put myself out there, attempt to act, or speak or sing......it will be hard. So maybe I should take it......even if it does require me to be in 13 credits instead of 12.
So I have percussion ensemble, pilates/conditioning, America in the World--a seminar class that meets 4 times, and now Performance Art Ensemble. So yes, that's actually 4 1-credit courses. I want to get rid of one--but the one I want to be rid of--well its the one I should probably stay in the most.
I went to Performance Art Ensemble Monday night from 7 to 9:30pm, expecting to get some pointers on how to be a better musician--even getting to work with dancers, etc...but all in the context of me behind my marimba.....and without having to really do much more work. The goal here was to score some for-sure practice time for my upcoming solo performance later this spring.
However, this is not what I encountered. This class has about 20 people in it, who for one, all appear to be friends with one another--but also are very artsy-performing types. This I am not, I am a shy and reserved---well largely inhibited person. Normally this doesn't embarass me--I don't dance much, I don't make loud displays of myself. And I consider this to be my personality. And to be ok.
So here's what we had to do--first, everyone says why they're in the class. Some people are there because of music,....well me and like 1 other person, but most are there because of general art interests in certain movements, etc. I tell them now that i am shy--just to get my comment out there for my own benefit at least. Next, we need to get into partners and do something that's relatively easy that will shock people, this....well not so easy for me. I don't think on my feet. So my partner drops his pants, exposing his boxers....shocking. I sit and well do nothing. It didn't differ too much from the other displays.
The most intense part of the class we worked individually--and had to consider something that we did not like to talk about, made us uncomfortable or we didn't like. And then we had to get up and talk about it nonstop for 1 minute. This was very interesting--we had confessions of love affairs, people confronting others in the class, talk about poo, orgasms, and myself talking about why I was afraid of taking this class. That it made me embarassed that I couldn't just be free and let go and do stupid things---and its one of the things I least like to talk about--who wants to admit that they're not laid back and cool?
But what about when I'm thrown into a situation that causes me to have to reconsider that part of myself--maybe I need to learn to be able to let it loose sometimes, act and be silly a little---and in the context of performance, being vulnerable to criticism....instead of just around friends as I would usually consider myself to be silly or uninhibited.
This class began to represent much of what I have spent my past 3.5 years being validated at NOT being...I am organized, scheduled, precise, opinionated--and well, put together. I have succeeded at doing the right things, at the right times....and climbing the social and otherwise campus ladder in other ways. But this was all called into question--the fact that I have an excell spreadsheet of my life---well, that will not make me a more successful student in this class. I'd venture ot say I'm the only one in there who walks around with such a thing.
SO I'm not completely sold--in some ways it feels like a waste of time, like an immature use of 2.5 hours....but I know that it will challenge me deeply to sit through this weekly....and stand up and put myself out there, attempt to act, or speak or sing......it will be hard. So maybe I should take it......even if it does require me to be in 13 credits instead of 12.
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