Wanderings and Wonderings

21 Days in the Dorms: Days 3-6

2008-08-29T14:11:00.000-07:00

I apologize for not being so on top of my posting!

Through tabling on campus, flyering in the dorms and visiting with cookies, we have continued to build a long contact list!
We hung in the dorm Wednesday night until late, enjoying a common room and some casual conversation with people in the halls.

If nothing else we're building up face time and some friendly images as people who bring cookies and good cheer.

Our interest meeting in our dorm is scheduled for Tuesday 8:30pm, location TBA, pray for a place!
And pray for ways to pull together and build community there!

21 days in Darnall: Day 2

2008-08-25T06:21:00.000-07:00

Today we attended the Protestant Student opening service where there's a chance to meet new students who are looking for Christian Fellowship.
We met two girls and a guy from Darnall hall who were interested in a Bible study.

Beyond that, found some facebook pages online listing different students living in the dorms!

Pray for opportunities to make contact with more students!

leadership retreat georgetown

2008-08-23T20:45:00.000-07:00

21 Days in Darnall: Day 1

2008-08-23T13:16:00.001-07:00

Freshman move-in day!

We followed in groups of students and wandered around the dorm. A great friend and prayer partner from college came and prayed for campus and Darnall in specific!
We met the chaplains in residence, Episcopalian and Catholic adults who were super friendly and excited to help us facilitate a Bible study in the dorm along with helping us meet students! Major blessings.

Got to see the student leaders of the dorm Bible study Claire and Alex around campus today. Alex and I went to buy tape to put flyers up.....then realized the book store line was over an hour long! We walked up to the front and talked a mother into adding our tape onto her order. Turns out her son lived in Darnall too!

Both Claire and Alex have been super enthusiastic and I'm really blessed to be working with them! Alex and I even bought Darnall residence hall t-shirts on our way out--now people will really think we're freshmen!

Blog I've been writing on

2008-07-21T09:04:00.000-07:00

For the summer I've been interning along with a student in the summer urban program for "Bread for the City" as a community blogger on issues of affordable housing.

Here's a link to what I've been up to:
http://www.breadforthecity.blogspot.com/

Seek the Welfare of the city i've sent you to

2008-07-21T08:59:00.000-07:00

I awoke last night to the sound of jack hammers and road crew equipment. It was about 2AM. I sat for almost 30 minutes wondering-I wanted to call and complain to someone and say seriously, who does that kind of roadwork on a residential street in the middle of the night?

For the past two weeks-and seemingly the next few months the District will be repairing the sewage system in this area of town to fix long standing water pressure issues. But I had a difficult time deciding to make the call. Was I just a light sleeper? Would/could they even stop the construction?

This week of our urban program our theme has been relocation. For those of you who know me, you know Christy Sherman, my co-worker and I moved into Anacostia, a low-income area of Washington DC almost a year ago. My boss once called it a process of re-neighboring. By changing who are our literal neighbors, suddenly Christ's command to "love your neighbors" takes on new meaning. Our students in this program have voluntarily relocated to this area of the city for five weeks this summer.

So there I was, wide awake, knowing my walls were very thin and the chances of falling back asleep were slim. Suddenly I thought of the bible study we used this week to frame our study of relocation-Jeremiah 29. There God challenges the Jewish exiles in Babylon to put down roots in a new community and "seek the welfare of the city." In some very odd and small way-would calling the water and sewer authority at 2:30am be a way to seek the welfare of my neighbors? Maybe more than just me were thinking they'd lost another-usually the jack hammers start at 7am even on weekends-- good chance at sleep?

Issues like this-and with much more importance confront us regularly when we place our daily lives alongside situations of need. I often step back and have to wonder if my own sense of indignation at any given situation-whether the recycling truck not coming on time or the constant stream of trash in our front yard-is just another case of a privileged girl who grew up in the suburbs needing to get used to life in the city. I wrestle with the question of whether my own standards are too high? How do you decide what's a battle worth fighting for?

However, at other times, this same sense of indignation fuels a passion inside of me and others to be able to speak out when a situation is simply wrong. We ought not have to just "deal" with a night of little sleep, sub-par school systems, a dirty environment, literally thousands of district residents waiting for affordable subsidized housing, or lack of access to basic goods and services. I didn't need to think twice about whether the residents of the Georgetown neighborhood of the city would've tolerated the same noise in the middle of the night. There are many broken systems and relationships in the world that God did not intend to be the way they are-but will we stand by and let it be? When does a situation become an issue of justice and worthy of seeking to set right?

God promises the exiles that when they become a part of seeing the city prosper-they too will prosper. As we tie our lives in with the residents of this neighborhood, sometimes what affects our next door neighbor affects us as well. When I finally got the courage to call the sewer authority, within 15 minutes, most of the noise subsided. Was it my doing? I don't know. But hopefully some of my neighbors were able to sleep a little easier last night as well.

At the end of this summer we're challenging students to consider making a long-term commitment-each focusing on one of our three theme weeks. One of these commitments would challenge students to consider "relocating to a place of need" for two years or more. I accepted a similar commitment through an InterVarsity summer program to Bangkok, Thailand that has led me to where I am today.

Jesus for President hits DC!

2008-07-02T11:29:00.000-07:00

The "Jesus for President" book tour hit DC this past weekend. With over 500 in attendance, it was a great meeting place for people of all ages from many different churches and organizations all over the city!

Because I've followed the "New monastic" group some for the past couple of years, I'm pretty familiar with the group that came into town. It's always interesting to see the evolution of thought and honestly, also the staying-power of some of these people. Seeing the transience of life in the DC area especially--knowing that almost 4 years ago I went to Camden and met a house of 8 people.....now of which I believe 5 or 6 still live in the neighborhood--well that's becoming a powerful witness!

Basically a synopsis set to music of the book, Jesus for President chronicled the story of God's people--from beginning in an idyllic garden into a set apart people from Egypt, exile in Babylon to the coming of Jesus to earth. We saw how God asks the question of not which political party to choose--but how will we engage (or should we?) engage the political system? What would it mean to hope in the church to make change in the world? Are we still supposed to be a set apart people today?

It was challenging to many visitors on lots of levels--and what an honor and priviledge for me to be involved in the organizing of the event!

CNN even recently highlighted the event and surrounding energy: http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/06/29/evangelical.campaign/?iref=mpstoryview

City Friends

2008-05-31T22:48:00.000-07:00

I think if my life had a soundtrack, the best times of my life would be set to John Mayer's Room for Squares or classic James Taylor. When I say the best times of life--I don't necessarily mean those trial-by-fire or challenging best times of life. I mean more the generic "best times" of life where I am genuinely content and satisfied.

When I feel really "right" with the world and content I get a certain look or smile on my face. I didn't really know this until one of my students said I always look at him and smile and nod. I do this when I'm just simply happy---no other thoughts in my mind, content. (sometimes this is out of awkwardness.....what do I say now? I might as well smile.....).

Tonight I had one of these moments. I went into inner-city Dallas to visit some friends from church. They are an older couple that moved into the neighborhood almost a year ago onto a street of newly developed condos. People have come to these condos from all stages of life--there are young couples, some people who live alone, no children. Really an eclectic group.

We had a wonderful evening--I really enjoy visiting people who are learning/living in neighborhoods like theirs. I think it starts to remind me of my time researching. There's something I really enjoy about learning about the sociological issues of an area, seeing the historical factors that created a neighborhood and all the up and coming things. In this area of Dallas we saw the new homeless resource center, some great new arts attractions, a jazz restaurant, and a great apartment complex/artistic urban lofts center.
We met so many people! An artist who lives in his studio inside the old Sears building (http://southsideonlamar.com/) with his dog, a bunch of musicians who moved into a complex together, the owner of a restaurant.
I love walking around with friendly people who have a strong desire to engage, be friendly, and become a part of a community. It really helps inspire me to continue to do similar things in my neighborhood, meet new people, go to random attractions, plays, ask questions when new things are coming in. Maybe it's nosy--but also, why else are we there if we don't care about what's going on around us?

But back to the feeling of contentment. So after a wonderful night out on the town, seeing this great neighborhood and meeting so many interesting people who have moved there, we retired back to their own condo apartment strip, 13 small homes with a great view of downtown Dallas. Sure there are drug dealers and prostitutes on their corner all night long--but it was evident that this group of neighbors were not judgmental or scared people. They loved living in this area---and had come to love one another, as unusual a group they could be!

For those of you who know me from college--I sat back and thought, wow this is like a grown up version of TTT (my friends in school had a weekly party we'd call Totally Tubular Thursday, a no-pressure, small crowd event were the 15-20 of us who had lived in the same freshman dorm committed to be together every Thursday evening). I always loved TTT time because I could have these moments to sit back, not even have to make conversation and just enjoy myself, secure I am known and loved.

I think that's what community is supposed to be about a lot. Joy in being with others, no matter how dramatically different we are from each other--knowing that we in some sense "belong" to one another, we'd give up time to meet a need or listen to an issue. Socialization is effortless and forgiving. It's where you go to have easy conversation and don't have to worry about what you say or even if you have enough to say.

I think it was a profound experience for me to see a marriage of two things I have yet to see some together in my life--my passion and intrigue for urban areas and dilapidated urban centers with friendship and relaxed good times. In my life in Washington, most of my friends live in the Virginia suburbs where I always have to take a lot of time and effort to get to them and spend time together. How grateful I've been this year for my friend who lives even in my same quadrant of the city. Pray for friends who live nearby--and who have a desire to spend some good, carefree time together!!! I felt very happy for my friends that they had found this--fun and camaraderie in the midst of such an exciting and interesting location.

She was 19

2008-05-22T20:55:00.000-07:00

Tonight I went with my home church (I'm back home for a month to rest and raise support for the next year) to a meal in downtown Fort Worth that feeds mostly homeless people.

I've been to this weekly meal probably 4 or 5 times now, it's different style than many soup kitchens because volunteers sit with the guests and we eat family style.
So I was a table "host" tonight to 7 people, one homeless man who'd been at my table I'm almost certain the year before, a blind man with a female companion, a woman in a wheel chair with a male companion, and another couple. All were black except the last couple--a white girl and an older hispanic man, both looking to be mid to late 20s.

When the last couple walked in, the woman looked annoyed--I asked her name and tried to start a conversation but she blew me off. The man with her was very friendly and said she was suffering from heat stroke (it's upwards of 90 most days here now) from being outside all day.
Within 5 minutes she was talking non-stop.

She started talking about how her baby had been taken from her because she didn't have a place to live--her 9 month old. I gathered a lot more through the one hour with them. She grew up in child protective services herself, the child of two drug addicts who unashamedly talked about using drugs. She said she met the guy she was with at Salvation Army, he didn't like the story of how she got there because it involved her being raped alot. She said she didn't care about being raped because it had happened to her again and again over almost her whole lifetime--I think she said age 3? I asked if it was a family member, she said yes.
She had lost the money she was saving to start renting some place when being raped another time and couldn't keep a job because of health problems--she was hypoglycemic and carried a few prescriptions with her.
Yes, I do know many homeless suffer from mental problems so it is difficult to be sure of the validity of many of her stories--but it was heart breaking to hear. Defeat after defeat.
And all this in a setting where for the most part people don't go on pouring out their life stories....they simply come in and eat, engaging with simple, polite conversation but rarely anything more.

As the church service part of the evening started, everyone else at the table had left except this couple. A baby across the room started to cry and she started to lose it thinking of her own girl. After awhile they offered anyone interested to get communion. They both got up and I followed them, taking the opportunity, and probably out of a lot of curiosity to ask how old she was. She was 19.

My guess--maybe 26? surely older than me. Of course, there's the fact that she's younger than me, having been pregnant and now depending on an older man, very nice mind-you, but someone she met at a shelter. But actually it was the realization that as my heart broke for her--and I started to cry for the first time in a setting like this, I'm usually the strong, seasoned volunteer type.......realizing I work with 19 year old women all the time. I lead a bible study of 19 year old women, watched them grow, develop and blossom. And here was another 19 year old in a completely different station of life. How far she seemed from the whimsical women of Georgetown!

I felt my heart wanting to do the things I usually do with 19 year old girls, sit them down, listen, follow up with them, pursue their needs. But like this program facilitated, I watched them walk through the door. Who are the people out there doing my kind of job with girls like her? How different my skills would need to be! I was surprised to see my gut reaction to her pain---and yet the commonality--how she talked about how when she came into a church she usually just found herself "talking and talking, then praying to Jesus---and it doesn't make the pain go away."
Somehow, unlike when i've heard similar comments from people of older ages who I don't think I'd know how to respond talking about spiritual difficulty or the pains of being in poverty except to say "i know" or something equally moronic--I somehow thought I could relate a little better, having been that young before......though how worlds apart our lives have been.

Last Large Group

2008-04-23T09:32:00.000-07:00

Similar in format to the last large group of the year we had at William and Mary, last night's large group was a "sharing" large group.

Anyone was allowed to speak about how God had been working in their life during the year.

What an amazing time!
I heard stories of students moving from skepticism and criticism of Christians to people of faith, students realizing the call to "make disciples" and serve other students in ministry, students challenging other students to be deeply involved in other's struggles.....

One student spoke about how he'd given up underage drinking and partying because when he got involved in Christian community he actually found time serving God to be better! He said "what I thought was making me happy wasn't doing it...it was like I was living 2 lives. Now I can live one life, and I've realized I'm the happiest when I'm serving!"

Several shared verses about seeing how God's grace or goodness is sufficient for them in times of weakness, coming to Georgetown and realizing they don't really have everything together...and that's ok!

I was excited to see how many people spoke about the impact of others in the group on them--either being served by others or doing Bible study together, how people had broken down Christian stereotypes or loved them in times of need.....what a cool manifestation of Christian community on campus here! Praise God.

Love Living in the district

2008-04-23T09:28:00.000-07:00

It has gotten to that point of spring and good weather where I can bike from Anacostia to Georgetown....the hour-hour & 15 minute trip is quite enjoyable.

I first pass over the river, past capitol hill area, my favorite hang outs and restaurants.....and then come all the cool dc stuff (pass it each day!):
--the capitol building
--the library of congress
--smithsonian (I can glance at some gardens from the road)
--the washington monument
--the lincoln memorial
--the potomac
--watergate hotel
--national cathedral in the distance
--georgetown!

Besides the huge hills.....hill to Gtown easily 5-7 blocks in length....and on the way home capitol hill......it's a beautiful experience!

What a blessing to live actually IN a city rather than just be able to visit!

Every day I curve around tourists....who sometimes seem annoyed that I'm on a bike there...but how lucky I feel to actually live here! What a life!

When Christ is King

2008-04-17T08:37:00.000-07:00

I will blog soon on "Jesus for President". Claiborne's new book. But in the meantime, I found this among Maurin's writing and found it challenging:

WHEN CHRIST IS KING

Not a Liberal

They say that I am a radical.
If I am a radical
then I am not a liberal.
The future will be different
if we make the present different.
But to make the present different
one must give up old tricks
and start to play new tricks.
But to give up old tricks
and start to play new tricks
one must be a fanatic.
Liberals are so liberal about everything
that they refuse to be fanatical
about anything.
And not being able to be fanatical
about anything,
liberals cannot be liberators.
They can only be liberals.
Liberals refuse to be
religious, philosophical or economic fanatics
and consent to be
the worst kind of fanatics,
liberal fanatics.

Not a Conservative

If I am a radical,
then I am not a conservative.
Conservatives try to believe
that things are good enough
to be let alone.
But things are not good enough
to be let alone.
Conservatives try to believe
that the world is getting better
every day in every way.
But the world is not getting better
every day in every way.
The world is getting worse
every day in every way
and the world is getting worse
every day in every way
because the world is upside down.
And conservatives do not know
how to take the upside down
and to put it right side up.
When conservatives and radicals
will come to an understanding
they will take the upside down
and they will put it right side up.

A Radical Change

The order of the day
is to talk about the social order.
Conservatives would like
to keep it from changing
but they don’t know how.
Liberals try to patch it
and call it a New Deal.
Socialists want a change,
but a gradual change.
Communists want a change,
an immediate change,
but a Socialist change.
Communists in Russia
do not build Communism,
they build Socialism.
Communists want to pass
from capitalism to Socialism
and from Socialism to Communism.
I want a change,
and a radical change.
I want a change
from an acquisitive society
to a functional society,
from a society of go-getters
to a society of go-givers.

When Bankers Rule

Modern society has made the bank account
the standard of values.
When the bank account
becomes the standard of values
the banker has the power.
When the banker has the power
the technician has to supervise
the making of profits.
When the banker has the power
the politician
has to assure law and order
in the profit-making system.
When the banker has the power
the educator trains students
in the technique of profit making.
When the banker has the power
the clergyman is expected
to bless the profit-making system
or to join the unemployed.
When the banker has the power
the Sermon on the Mount
is declared unpractical.
When the banker has the power
we have an acquisitive,
not a functional society.

When Christ Is King

When the Sermon on the Mount
is the standard of values
then Christ is the Leader.
When Christ is the Leader
the priest is the mediator.
When Christ is the Leader
the educator
trains the minds of the pupils
so that they may understand
the message of the priest.
When Christ is the Leader
the politician
assures law and order
according to the priest’s teachings.
When Christ is the Leader
the technician
devises ways and means
for the economical production
and distribution of goods.
When Christ is the Leader
the administrator administrates
according to the directions
from the technicians.
When Christ is the Leader
we have a functional,
not an acquisitive society.

Rebellion Is Rebellion

Boloney is boloney,
no matter how you slice it,
and rebellion is rebellion
no matter when it happens,
whether it is
the religious rebellion
of the 16th century
or the political rebellion
of the 18th century,
or the economic rebellion
of the 20th century.
Someone said
that the Catholic Church
stands for rum, Romanism and rebellion.
But the Catholic Church
does not stand for rum, Romanism and
rebellion.
The Catholic Church stands
for Rome, Reunion, and Reconstruction.
The Catholic Church stands,
as Rome used to stand,
for law and order.
The Catholic Church stands
for the reunion
of our separated brothers.
The Catholic Church stands
for the reconstruction,
not the patching up,
of the social order.

Constructing the Social Order

The Holy Father asks us
to reconstruct the social order.
The social order was constructed
by the first Christians
through the daily practice
of the Seven Corporal
and Seven Spiritual
Works of Mercy.
To feed the hungry
at a personal sacrifice,
to clothe the naked
at a personal sacrifice,
to shelter the homeless
at a personal sacrifice,
to instruct the ignorant
at a personal sacrifice;
such were the works
of the first Christians
in times of persecution.

Catholic book club

2008-04-17T08:32:00.000-07:00

For a few months now I've been attending monthly book clubs with a catholic non-profit group.
This past Monday we read Peter Maurin, Easy Essays. Peter Maurin was one of the founders of the Catholic Worker movement--it was great to read some of his essays first hand and be challenged again by many of the critiques of the modern charity, church that lead me to where I am today.

Check out some of these:

Passing The Buck--An Easy Essay by Peter Maurin

1. In the first centuries of Christianity
the poor were fed, clothed, and sheltered
at a personal sacrifice
and the Pagans
said about the Christians:


     "See how they love each other."

2. Today the poor are fed, clothed, and sheltered
     by the politicians
     at the expense
     of the taxpayers.

3. And because the poor
     are no longer
     fed, clothed, and sheltered
     at a personal sacrifice
     but at the expense
     of taxpayers
     Pagans say about Christians:
     "See how they pass the buck."

Article of intrigue

2008-04-17T08:31:00.000-07:00

One friend remarked this article made him realize he wasn't that different from his generation....trying to complete 5 tasks at once....while still wanting to remain open to many more....we are all so guilty.

Paul said "this one thing I do"

Mary choose the better thing....not distracted by the many.....will we?

http://chronicle.com/free/v54/i27/27b00701.htm

How to Save a Life.....

2008-04-17T07:09:00.000-07:00

So back in the fall when we went on a spring retreat, I created a prayer room for students to use art supplies and other forms of medium to communicate with God.

I created one piece of "prayer art" myself based on a lot of what I was feeling at that time. The picture was of a stick figure who had just let go of a bundle of balloons--but realizing that the balloons were now out of reach began to grasp for them. Underneath the picture I wrote "I keep trying to save my life but you won't let me."

This reminds me of much of what I see both on campus here at Georgetown and in my generation.

We get a small taste of what it could be like to serve God, to let go of our hold on our own lives--and how exhilarating that can be! We've lost our lives! And now we find them in Christ.....in much better form that we truly could've ever imagined.

But then the fear sets in.....what if God messes with my schedule? What if I have to break up with my boyfriend? What if I have to change my major? This whole "losing my life" thing is actually kind of unpredictable and uncomfortable.......so we start reaching for the balloons again, trying to bring back the control to our surroundings.

Recently this has been very evident as we see students making decisions about becoming leaders in the fellowship next year. I sadly see student after student shirking from responsibility and leadership--willing to take from fellowship....but when it gets tough and may mean unpredictable commitment....they run in the other direction.
Is this to say that IV leadership is the only way to serve God? No! However, I would love to see every student in our fellowship experiencing the joy and fulfillment of serving God through ministry during their time here.....whether that's leading a small group, playing in the band, heading up a campus-wide event.

Although the situation appears different now a week after applications were due, seeing God provide new students I never expected--for awhile there it seemed that one by one students were saying they could come up with a better plan for their lives than God.

I saw myself do it a lot first semester here, wanting to protect my schedule and my heart from falling head-forward into relationships with a completely new group of students and life in a new city.....fearing what God would do if I really let go. I'm beginning to let my heart get involved with students here, releasing the balloons and watching them fly.

It begs the question of all of us (myself paramount):

what are we holding back from God?

What are we attempting to hold onto thinking it will bring us life other than God?

Quiet Times

2008-03-31T08:52:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago back visiting my old InterVarsity chapter at WM, I heard they'd done a survey of the fellowship. They found that only 5% of the students present at the weekly Large Group meeting were spending more than 10 minutes 3 times a week in prayer and Bible study.

The term "quiet time" is something that sometimes I feel averse to using a lot. I don't like that it seems like Christian in-speak and also that sometimes it can feel legalistic. However, I'm realizing how little--as some grand attempt to not guilt students, I'm not mentioning this at well.

So a Quiet Time is simply setting aside some time each day for prayer and reading scripture. Not that complicated. Can take tons of different forms depending on what you read and how you pray--length, can be thereabouts of 10 minutes to hours really. By setting aside a specific time of day we allow God some set apart time to speak to us--not just going through our days hoping God thinks what we're already doing it pretty alright.

I've been reading a lot of books about discipleship lately--how to help mentor Christian students and help them grow towards God. In most of these books after the first step of inviting the student into relationship, or once the person has "become a Christian"--almost immediately the next step mentioned in the books is to teach students/disciples how to spend time with God each day. Teaching them to "feed themselves" from the Bible and spend time in prayer rather than creating a situation where people are dependent on you as the mentor.

But I've also been thinking about the general life of a college student--the busyness, the people everywhere......it's very difficult to find space to be alone. But my conviction is that this is still essential. There are quiet spaces in the library, rooms when roommates are out for the day. It's like so much in life--if we live spending our time thinking that we'll do that later......later will never come. We must learn to find space and time for God now, not just wishing it will come around later.

When we were at a visioning retreat for IV last week we did a Bible study on Nehemiah. Nehemiah cries out asking for the forgiveness of the sins of himself and the sins of his fathers. He sees that the sins within his people are also within himself. I find that a lot at Georgetown. The sin of the institution and the student body there mirror a lot of my own personal sins--orientation towards achievement, busyness--and neglecting time with God. So then we repented on the behalf of ourselves and our people. Now I'm just considering how to move forward and help students re-establish this essential time each day.

Stations of the Cross around Anacostia

2008-03-23T17:07:00.000-07:00

For Good Friday service my catholic church in Anacostia did a live-action, moving stations of the cross. We walked around Anacostia with a casket and a cross, praying for different things each time we stopped.

There are 14 "stations" of the cross.
We prayed for the homeless, addicted outside the local "grocery store," the elementary school, gangs, single mothers, those in jail, those addicted, for the violence in the neighborhood.

The whole event lasted 3 hours!

But another good reminder of why I wanted to go to a church that was committed to praying and being involved in the surrounding neighborhood's difficult issues.

EGGstravaganza: alternative easter break 2008

2008-03-23T16:12:00.000-07:00

Being a Catholic school, Georgetown students get the Thursday and Friday plus the Monday surrounding Easter weekend off school. Many students go home--even a week and a half after spring break. But several stay around.

Knowing that many students would be in DC for the break I decided to start my own tradition--easter break alternative break!

Spring break urban service trip was great, definitely great! But it was very serious--so this was my chance to create something more fun and bonding based. Now ending the week, the turn out was pretty good. Let me recap the events:

Thursday: This event I hyped up probably more than any other---an 20-30 mile bike ride around the rim of DC and down through Rock Creek park in the middle. I got 3 girls coming with me--2 freshmen, 1 sophmore. One girl was very inexperienced--and she did GREAT! 5 hours of group biking--and the only major fall was mine (skinny tires on pavement).

Friday: dinner party at my house. I picked up 6 students from Georgetown for a night of dinner, discussion, desserts and dying eggs! We sang along with the piano, grappled with family vs. Christian community and ate tons of ice cream and cookies! Lots of fun!

Saturday: Service project in Anacostia. Myself, a friend from out of town and two students teamed up with the catholic volunteer group (www.asimplehouse.org) to deliver easter baskets to families living in housing projects in Southeast DC. We got partnered with people of all ages--catholics from a teenager to people in their 40s.

Sunday: Baptism service. One of the Georgetown IV worship leaders became a Christian about a month ago. He got baptized at his church service this afternoon. It was great to see the community he's been experiencing there and along with another student, support his decision to be baptized.

alternative easter break was great! hopefully more students will stick around for next year's installment!

Holy Week

2008-03-17T06:43:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, I've been attending a Catholic church in my neighborhood in Washington,DC.

This week is holy week--I'm really looking forward to getting to participate in many of the activities both on campus at Georgetown with students and with my church in the neighborhood.

For palm sunday, for instance, we did a parade around the neighborhood (I came with 30 college students in-tow from two colleges visting for spring break trips) waving palms around and handing out palms to people we encountered on the street as we marched and sang loudly.

Coming up, there are several services on campus, maundy thursday, good friday and easter morning!

I think it's been since high school that I've been able to focus on the events of Holy week--take the happiness of palm sunday......actually attend Thursday and Friday to understand what happens.....in order to have "walked the journey" come Sunday when the easter choruses begin!
In college it's so easy to get caught up in school work or yourself and forget the rest of the world even exists!

My georgetown students however get this thursday, friday and next monday, tuesday off....so they get to go home or hopefully reconnect with a faith community to celebrate.

Veganism, an update

2008-03-09T22:01:00.000-07:00

So I became a vegan for lent.

Much like vegetarianism, it's a decision that's hard to go back on once you make it.
Especially when it comes to reintroducing substances like milk and cheese and yogurt.

I have been really impacted in the past month, however, to learn how many animal products really did go into everything I consumed......from eggs for breakfast, to cookies, to pizza, to butter on a roll.

I think it's always a good lesson to be conscious of the origins of the things we spend money to have.

Spring Break 2008: Georgetown Urban Plunge

2008-03-09T21:44:00.000-07:00

I just finished a week of having 13 Georgetown students living in my house, participating in a week of service, prayer, and Bible study in the inner city of Washington.

For a quick run-down of the week, after a day spent on a scavenger hunt to discover inequalities in the city, we spent last Sunday attending my gospel Catholic church (met some of my neighbors--awesome!). During the week we served breakfast to the homeless, tutored GED students, spent the night at a women's shelter, volunteered at an after school program, ate lunch with homeless, and spent a full-day in a DC Public school (the one I've been doing breakfast with).
In the evenings we had several interesting discussions and activities, including 6 Bible studies from Luke, a teacher discussion panel, a race discussion and even a party with people working in justice-related careers!

I was thrilled to spend the week essentially at home, relieved from the stress of commuting. It was exciting to invite students into my daily life, my relationships in the neighborhood, the joys and struggles of being there. I made some connections at work and the elementary school that otherwise would've taken months to figure out!

Students mostly, in the time talking about what we'd all taken away from the trip, talked about wanting to become less self-centered in their approach to life, watching how they spend their time and money, and seeing increasingly God's heart for the poor and oppressed! Seeing the faith and determination of people who'd given their lives to serve those of Southeast DC inspired and challenged students to consider their own futures and formerly-cynical outlooks on direct service's impacts on communities in need.

Pray this week will open some student's willingness to come visit my area of town more often!

InterVarsity Senior Retreat: Feb 22-24th

2008-03-09T21:36:00.000-07:00

The last weekend in February we had our winter Conference for InterVarsity. For these conferences students from all over the DC area come together for a weekend of study and reflection.

I was placed in the Senior Track this year--mostly because I begged to be put there, but also as an extra staff person to help out with this "class" for the retreat. The Senior Seminar dealt with transition issues, making big life decisions, finding a church, financial management.....basically all the things of following jesus in the real world and for the long haul.
I begged to be put there because I'd never been able to go to such a thing myself. I really wanted to be in on the budget section and the part about friendships/relationships post-college.

A few major highlights for me included the Bible study on John 14. I started to cry reading jesus' words to his disciples. Throughout the chapter he is reassuring his disciples that they have the tools and the knowledge to make it in his absence--they will be ok! But they doubt--as we all do. The verse that made me cry is when Jesus says "I go to make a place for you...if it wasn't so why would I say it?" All I could think to myself was--yea, why would he say it then? Jesus doesn't lie to us! What a good God we serve.....he will provide, he's not going to turn around and say "just kidding" one of these days.

Other major talks included one on ethics in the workplace, an awesome talk on decision making, and financial management. The decision making talk she said most of the time in our lives we will not know what God wants us to do explicitly. But we will have some signs (this does not exclude prayer!).....but to think of it like a runway that a plane will land on....if 70% of the lights are light-up, it's probably a go. Could sound like reading a fortune cookie or something--but to see lots of things lining up for God to tell us to proceed. Also she talked about when making decisions if we consider 2 things: serving God, serving others.....even when we're confused, we'll likely be able to make it.

It was a good weekend, as always to get away and reflect. The other senior from Georgetown in my group had some good times of reflection about work along with the two students from George Washington in my small group. I was glad for the opportunity to go!

Simple Way Family Reunion: February 15-17

2008-03-09T21:11:00.000-07:00

So I'm really behind on my writing. I'm attempting to fix this situation with a short synopsis of important events in the past month.

The 3rd weekend in February I ventured up to Philadelphia/Camden area with one of my good friends and mentors, Brian Lewis of Common Ground community in Shreveport, LA (www.lvoe.org). I drove up with Brian's friend Drew, a seminary student in the DC area I was pleased to meet and get to know over the weekend.

We got up to Philadelphia and went directly to the Simple Way's Potter Street location in the Kensington neighborhood of North Philadelphia. I was immediately struck by the enclosed, tight nature of the streets around that area of the city. It contrasts dramatically to Center City's wide boulevards and expansive skyscrapers. The tiny row houses were only footsteps from those across the street---community seemed inherent in this kind of set up. Even our close location to our neighbors in DC is nothing like this.

The whole weekend was a series of meeting interesting people. The entire new monastic movement is full of all kinds of characters, Christian anarchists, lots of vegans, lots of dreadlocks and a lot of smokers even. When you really respect a person or a group of people you can more easily accept and believe what they state to be true about the world. Possibly this is a very post-modern trait about me. Regardless, I find myself really immersed in this crowd of people, learning from all kinds of things---from how people greet one another, what they eat, what kind of Bible study we do.....it's all very enlightening....I'm essentially eating it all up.

Friday evening was a big potluck dinner and a worship service by the Psalters (http://www.psalters.com/). Saturday consisted of a lot of round-group discussions. First we did bible study on Matthew 18 followed by group discussions on race in community, gender and God-image (how do we imagine God--mother God?), and power and authority in community (are we afraid to have leaders? should we have leaders?).
It was mind boggeling in someways-----in others simply refreshing.

Many of my coworkers in InterVarsity had their first ah-ha moment of faith and biggest conversion moment in their faith-life thus-far mediated by interactions with InterVarsity. Thus, they find themself where they are. However, for myself, I think it was through the leading, listening and inquiry skills I learned in part from InterVarsity that I found the New Monastic (www.newmonasticism.org) religious movement--that changed my life, faith, and future forever. I come back to this place (camden especially) to be renewed and reminded of who I am in Jesus and what I hope and pray my life will be about.

Thrill of the Chaste

2008-02-14T13:03:00.000-08:00

So as with most of my writing, I document themes in my life. I believe God puts a lot of things together in my life---all point towards the same genre, idea, or theme for two reasons. One, I get a very interdisciplinary, diverse education on any given topic--quite liberal arts of the Lord! Two, to get a point home--after hearing similar messages for weeks, I start to pay attention and learn something.

So for my inevitable Valentine's Day post, I've had a few diverse instances come together. One, Valentine's Day is today. Last night Georgetown sponsored a talk by Dawn Eden, a catholic author who wrote the Thrill of the Chaste, a book I actually read in one sitting during a rainy day visiting a friend in Philadelphia. In some ways it's your quintessential Christian sex and dating book, with some conservative by some people's view's stances. But she appeared to be an edgy individual--so I read it. And when I heard she was coming to campus I went.

The talk was good--she talked about her own life, living from relationship to relationship with different men to finding God later in life and then even later "becoming chaste." She talked about chastity being different from abstinence--because being chaste is about more than just our outward, moral sexual behavior but about our whole being, our thought life and our attitude towards others (Jesus said one who looks at a woman with lust has already committed it in his heart! yikes!).

I went with several of my students and we stayed afterwards for the round-table discussion. Being a catholic, much of what we talked about in the group was contraception and the catholic church's stance on birth control, condoms, etc. A few people joined the group who were more sexually experienced than my students--and they carried the conversation--it is always good to be exposed to the diverse people on this campus! This even had me watching the women dropping kids off at the elementary school I volunteer with--I didn't see any mothers today with rings on their hands. Pregnancy outside of wedlock is commonplace in my neighborhood.

In response to last night's talk, I met with my bible study co-leader, a sophomore this morning. Each Thursday morning we meet for about an hour and do some form of "creative prayer." Two weeks ago we prayer-walked (prayed for people and buildings, ideas we saw), last week we prayed specifically for the girls in our group. This morning we decided to pray for women on campus. Leading a women's bible study, we are often engaging some of the difficult issues of being a woman on campus (ambition, relationships, friendships, body image, among many!).

Rather than just focusing on people we knew, we decided to think of all kinds of women on campus. I brought crayons, a magazine and some glue. We created collages while praying and celebrating many of the services and organizations on campus that serve women's needs on campus. We prayed for the pro-life and pro-choice groups. We prayed for girls in abusive relationships, dealing with eating disorders, and cliques on their halls. I created a word picture surrounding the verse "charm is deceptive, beauty is fleeting...but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised (Proverbs 31)."

In our small group this semester we're studying the book of Ruth. Last week's bible study we got to compare Ruth and Naomi a lot. In the story, Naomi is an older woman who has recently become a widow. Ruth, her daughter-in-law has also been widowed. Ruth, rather than going home to her own family, decided to go with Naomi back to Naomi's hometown, tying their fates together. We talked about how Naomi renames herself "Mara"--meaning "bitter." But God had such a plan for Naomi! He places a person like Ruth in her life to encourage, strength, and provide for her! We then thought a lot about when we were acting as Naomi, bitter towards God, thinking he afflicted us....and when we could seek to act like Ruth for others in our lives. How women can encourage and love one another!

So all of these things came together, thinking about women on campus, difficult issues in relating to other women and men--along with the "thrill"--and sometimes pressure of Valentine's day!

Pray for the women of Georgetown and Washington, DC!

End of an Era

2008-02-13T07:04:00.000-08:00

I spent this past weekend visiting my brother and friends back at William and Mary.

The campus was all abuzz about the president's possible termination. He's been a controversial figure, making several moves to diversify the campus. An article: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/story/2008/02/12/ST2008021201428.html

But the students love him. Maybe not all--but for sure a majority. I wonder what will become of the campus now that the students are in some ways revolting---walk outs on classes by students and faculty, vigils, t-shirts and I heart nichol buttons everywhere.

How will anyone else anytime soon become the president of this place?

William and Mary loved of old......hark upon the gale.

Buy Nothing Lent

2008-02-06T12:41:00.000-08:00

This year for lent our InterVarsity group at Georgetown challenged each other to try to "buy nothing"--meaning to cut out all unnecessary spending.

Situated in a city, especially an area like Georgetown, our students are bombarded by opportunities to go out to eat, buy new clothing, or pay for movies or other entertainment. My coworker and I spoke at large group last night, challenging the students--even if they didn't think they were addicted to money or stuff, often using these things to fill the emptiness in our lives--they should still consider taking a step back "just to find out."

We framed it as choices--choosing to bring your own water rather than always buying coffee, going to the dining hall rather that out, playing a game at home rather than out to a movie.

We began the talk by considering how much the Bible talks about money (the 2nd most frequently mentioned topic next to love!). Next we went into how scripture over and over reveals how the money we have in our wallets--is not ours, our parents, our families--but in fact God's. This is a hard concept to grasp. Where are his holy wallets?

It can be deceiving when we work jobs and "earn" our keep/worth and then take home our wages.

After this I led the students in a prayer exercise where I spoke out phrases and questions and gave people a few moments to think and pray. Some examples:
When did I last buy something? What was it? Did I need it?

Where do I spend most of the money in my care?

Thank God that you are blessed enough to be able to choose where to spend money.

What about my food buying choices—where is there excess? Where am I buying unnecessary snacks or going out rather than doing something less costly?

When do I seek to fill emptiness with stuff—clothing, addictions, food. ---Confess this to God and ask him to come in and fill this space for you.

What do I fear about accepting the call to fast from buying? Can I trust that God will meet me and help me be creative? Especially in dealing with other people?
Ask God how he would have you respond.

God. Do I need to give up one specific thing in my life—buying coffee? Ordering pizza? God, are you asking me to fast from buying completely during lent? Until spring break? For a week?

***It was a great exercise--I think a lot of students committed and will start this 6 week journey of attempting to not spend money. We're in it together--meeting to pray and discuss alternatives. I'll continue to update on what we're all learning abour our relationship with money.

My church

2008-01-29T06:49:00.000-08:00

I've been attending a gospel Catholic church in my neighborhood. I really enjoy the service, the music is great and the message often has some kind of tie-in or application to issues facing the area. Once the priest actually asked people to raise hands to attend a meeting on development affecting the neighborhood!

This week I met people for the first time--and got invited to join the young adult choir!

Here are some pictures from the church.

It's called St Teresa's of Avila. My mother especially liked the picture of the black Jesus above the altar.

Gracism: inclusion and love

2008-01-19T07:58:00.001-08:00

I often write in someway inspired by a book I've read. It helps me summarize and think through the book.

This book I'm still thinking through, this may just be a way for me to remember key points to myself...so bear with me if it's therefore boring.

Gracism: the Art of Inclusion by Anderson
This book says what if we combined the terms grace and racism--we'd get gracism. When trying to combat racism in society, as Christians we bring the grace of Christ into a situation, looking to include the person who might otherwise be left out.

Sometimes this has to do with race--sometimes it's martial status (like when I'm the only single person at the IV christmas party....) or gender or some other factor that might leave an individual feeling left out in any given situation.

I was excited by the book's emphasis on how we can give people places of honor and concern in many situations--to me if parallels some of the themes of "Love is the Killer App"--saying that rather than erring on the side of giving/loving/sharing less we as Christ lovers should err on the side of giving/loving/sharing more, even when it's uncomfortable--and sometimes when it can be controversial. Choosing to operate on the abundancy, gracious side of God is something I'm learning to do daily.

Seven Sayings of a Gracist:
1. "Special Honor"--lifting up the humble among us. I will lift you up.
2. "Special Modesty"--protecting the most vulnerable among us from embarrassment. I will cover you.
3. "No special treatment"--refusing to accept special treatment if is is at the detriment of others who need it. I will share with you.
4. "Greater Honor"--God, as a gracist, has given greater honor to the humble. I will honor you. 5. "No division"--when the majority helps the minority and the stronger helps the weaker (gracism), it keeps us from division within the body (an opposite view than normal). I will stand with you.
6. "Equal Concern"--having a heart as big for our neighbors as we do for oursleves. I will consider you.
7. "Rejoices with it"--when the humble, or less honorable, are helped, we are to rejoice with them. (It's easier to weep with those who weep than to rejoice with those who rejoice). I will celebrate with you.

Some quotes I liked:
"wouldn't it be great if our natural reaction and impulse was to include rather than exclude?"

instead of an "us versus them" mentality--choosing an "us" mentality--us, we're in this together.

It's ok

2008-01-18T18:13:00.000-08:00

This is a short thought.

But recently I've been thinking alot about how we phrase forgiveness.

Often we have a tendency to say to those around you "it's ok" or "don't worry about it"....hoping to forget the wrong.

Why don't we say "will you forgive me?" or "I forgive you" as the response. To me that seems to take much more commitment--it's a little riskier and scary to me to actually say the word forgiveness---it acknowledges that there was a sin, a wrong done.

When we go on just saying it's ok all the time we tend to start to forget that wrong has been done, that we do live in a world of sin where we wrong others all the time.

I'm going to try to challenge myself to use the language of sin and forgiveness more--willing to acknowledge the wrongs I do rather than just hope myself and others can forget about them.

Noon on Tuesday

2008-01-13T14:13:00.000-08:00

I realize some of my reader-ship may be a bit scandelized by this post--but bear with me.

As I visited many of you in Texas I talked about how one of my greatest personal needs right now is friendship. And to some I probably related that I had by chance (and you know I don't believe in chance per-se) run into and befriended a member of my old 3rd grade elementary class from Princeton, NJ.
This friend is a a bartender in Eastern Market, a "hip" section of town that's actually close to where I live! We've begun to spend time together quite frequently.

I joke that with the hours in my job I need friends that are "free at noon on a Tuesday,"--only we odd-job types, the ministers and restaurant folk seem to fit the bill. Working nights and weekends can do a toll on your social life.
Little did I remember that this "noon on a Tuesday" is a friendly reference to a Sheryl Crow song "I just wanna have some Fun"--"We are drinking beer at noon on Tuesday," where she talks about watching the working folk wash their cars and do socially acceptable things while she and her friend sit by. I sometimes feel that way about the scheduling and off-nature of my life.

But back to this friend. I'm very thankful for having him in my life. I think we both can suffer from a little loneliness--so it's nice to have someone who lives close--and is likely free. Even this weekend, I went with one of my girlfriends from college to his bar Friday night--and this afternoon I skated at the Sculpture Garden where his second job is a rink guard.
Most of my friends live in suburban Virginia--this aftenoon I took all of 2 hours out to see him and back--whereas getting out to my other friends might take that time alone.

I've been thinking about this friend also in relation to my ministry at Georgetown. We encourage the students we spend time with to think about how they can share Jesus with their friends and love their friends who aren't Christians (some call it evangelism, touchy subject and I have a hard time articulating--so hope I don't offend with my language).

But at a leadership meeting on Saturday I asked each member of the team to think of one friend in their life who didn't know God--who they'd like to see know God. We did this exercise then called "Glimpses of the Gospel" where we thought about our friend, prayed for them and considered how God was already working in their lives---considering what kind of gospel values and pieces of Jesus we saw in them.
As the staff person, of course I participated and talked about my elementary school friend. I talked about his generosity and inclusivity--he's very friendly, of course and sharing as a bartender. He's befriended a local homeless man---who now I've met as well who comes in during happy hour. He listens to his stories and treats him with dignity and respect. Christ did that---he treated the poor as people worthy of love and consideration.
We finished by praying for each other's friends--and considering how we can continue to be praying for each other's friends.

It was exciting for me even today, skating around the Mall on a Sunday afternoon, watching my friend then attending someone who'd fallen and had a serious injury on the ice, to be able to pray for him and watch God work in his life. Pray for my friend!

Waiting to Live your Life?

2008-01-10T18:14:00.001-08:00

I work with college students. College is supposed to be a time of learning and training--for our future careers right?

But what if we also looked at this time our lives as a time for living....not just preparing to live later? I think many people--over all of their lives fall into the "next thing" trap--I remember a poem I got from my high school senior year english teacher called "the odyssey" expressing this idea. It challenged us to not live waiting for life to come--the next job, when we had kids, when we took a vacation--because then life would pass us by! Such a simple concept--but how I see myself and those around me falling into this trap of living in the future.

It's similar to a parable in he bible--the one with the "talents" where a master leaves servants to care for his money--each receiving 1,5, and 10 talents. The one who receives one talent buries it--at least it will be there with the master gets back! The others take a risk and bring back multiples of what was given to them. I'd usually use this as an example of "blessed to be a blessing"--but I think it has some lessons about wasted potential.

I see the same thing often on Georgetown's campus. Some of the world's best and brightest come to spend four years there--for many, thinking they're preparing for a lifetime of service--service in health, in politics, in education. But a challenge I always want to pose to them--what about if they started trying to serve now? Not just wait until after graduation to think about serving the poor, or changing their spending habits. If they plan to one day be able to wake up and selflessly attend to the needs of those around them--in a slum, a hospital, or the political arena---what kind of practices are they developing now?

We all know we can't just one day wake up and be able to pray intimately to God for hours on end if we haven't been developing spiritual disciples of praying, reading our bibles and knowing God for time before that (hard example--know there could be exceptions!).

Similarly--if we want to be living as Christian people, loving the poor and lame--how are we doing loving our neighbor--in a dorm? a worker at the cafeteria? Our friend who is depressed? The needy are not always this "other" far away on the other side of the globe.

He who is faithful with the little will be faithful with the big.
Let's start practicing with the little bit in front of us now---rather than dreaming of the big that we will encounter "someday."

InterVarsity Staff Conference 2008

2008-01-07T08:42:00.000-08:00

I just got back from a 5 day all-InterVarsity staff conference in St Louis Missouri.

There are about 1,200 people on InterVarsity staff--from people working at the national service center in Wisconsin, people working for InterVarsity press and people working at the more than 550 campuses where InterVarsity exists in the United States and Internationally with the ministry called LINK.

Every 3 years all InterVarsity staff gather for encouragement, prayer and teaching.

Some highlights:
-hearing again the history of InterVarsity as a movement, entering the US about 1940 until now where our ministry is at more US campuses than any other.
-hearing the "field intiatives" for 2004: growth, evangelism, leadership development, fund development, alumni, and multiethnicity. These 6 commitments are a good eye into the core values of InterVarsity.

-seminars on recapturing student-led ministry where the leader challenged us to think is our ministry more about seeing InterVarsity be programatically perfect or about being good stewards of the leadership development of our students?
He challenged us saying are you living as more: chapter program keeper-together?
loose end tier-upper?
Large group coordinator? Small group coordinator?
Fire fighter?
Keeper of the secret vision?
Or would we rather be: discipler, counselor, scripture teacher, shepherd, minister to campus, vision-caster, model to students for witness, leader builder, empowerer.
***In this model, our end goal is to strengthen churches, Christian communities and turn out graduates who know how to lead!

*Another Seminar on "recruiting male students" that went well with the seminar I went on experiential learning.
--A challenging question here: Is InterVarsity's understanding of the gospel big enough to love Alpha males? we talked alot about the alpha male personality, how to create space for and empower these natural leaders who can sometimes be arrogant and pushy.
--We also talked alot about visual and kinestetic learning styles and how men responded better to visual aides or getting up and doing something--especially in response to a message. This is something I want to be thinking about more!
--suggested taking any opportunity to create competition, make spirituality fun

Other things:
-getting to meet IV gurus on urban and international mission
-meeting someone who will be moving to DC to help expand our urban missions there next year
-the single staff gathering!--actually was done pretty well, basically mixer games.

Good time of renewal and refocusing.

Church Hunt

2007-12-28T19:57:00.000-08:00

In earlier posts I've said that I've actually found two churches in DC--I split my time between two congregations--an gospel-style Catholic congregation in Anacostia and a non-denominational, contemporary congregation that meets in movie theaters near Georgetown University.

While this is true--when I'm back in Southlake at White's Chapel I'm struck with how not "mine" these churches--and the church I went to in college was.

Will I ever be able to really be involved in the community of a congregation like that again? Especially now that I'm in a ministerial occupation--I feel so stretched thin, especially when it comes to ability and free time to lead evening or weekend activities.

But being home, I think about how my family has really invested in the life of our home church--for one we've been going there since I was 10 years old--soon to be 13 years. We went to Sunday school, did Vacation bible school, I was an accolyte, I worked in the church nursery, was the receptionist for awhile, active in the youth group, mission trips, my mom teaches Sunday School, my dad's a communion server, my mom's in the choir, we usher and serve communion. While there are certainly more visible, involved families--a large portion of our life's energy goes into that place. Even when things happen there we don't like (as will happen in any church situation)--we don't leave, we commit to being part of the change.

But getting to that place took a lot of energy. Maybe it's because we were a family--my parents worked on a generally 9-5 schedule, making them available for weekend and evening functions. They didn't get this involved in a church until they started having kids--it's a place for kids to grow up in (that's a whole other blog topic on what we go to church expecting to "receive"--but for another day). But I don't want to be someone who doesn't commit to a church significantly until I have children--that could be over 10 years!

But I see myself caught in a difficult place--I want to know people at church. I want to have the time to do that first.

But also I want to know that I've chosen the place I want to settle down and commit to sticking through difficult times, being part of the change again. But now, when I go to two congregations--and really have no friends in either--it's difficult to think I'm in a great place ot start making those decisions.

But then given my job--working nights, being gone weekends and long school breaks--will this ever happen? It speaks to larger issues of having trouble getting involved really anywhere or making new friends or even getting to know my housemates.
-But really my job effects my choice in church in more than a scheduling dillema. This is where I'd start to take issue with someone who is so thoroughly convinced that InterVarsity is not a church--it is a gathering, a body of believers. And I am appointed to help shepherd this part of God's flock. Or something like that.

And beyond that I'm heavily involved in a community--the community of my house--and the larger network of DC area community homes. I see that really as my church congregation if anything--I have leadership and contribution there--but it's not a formal organization, there's not a weekly meeting in a specific building.

It's somewhat like a relationship--you have to commit and see it through. At this stage it looks like a lot of time and alot of work--and when I can see some of the later stages (my church in southlake)--it's hard to remember what the beginning was like....

But still I have trouble when pondering how this fits in with my parachurch job and community living?

Please comment! email! anything!

Sharing Stories

2007-12-22T08:04:00.000-08:00

I'm back in Texas now, having ended my first semester as InterVarsity staff at Georgetown University.

Being at home so early in the holiday seasons, I've taken most of this past week to devote to visiting donors who helped get me "on the field" in DC.

I spend most of the day making candy and cookies to bring people people and then about 4:30pm set out in the car to visit people all around town!

It's been an awesome week--going around sharing stories of the semester.
I get to talk about the bible studies I'm a part of, how i've gotten to help out at the elementary school down the street, share the struggles of life transition, answer questions off of my blog or emails, have people pray for my spiritual development and ministry.

But actually my favorite part of the whole things has been hearing other people's stories.

I wonder sometimes if it's the title of my job as a "religious" profession that allows people the license to talk about God in a more explicit way than they would otherwise--some might say that's just the holy spirit working, opening up two people to hear his presence period.

But regardless, many people I visit take the time to tell me about how God's been impacting their live this year--how they've seen changes in their family, felt God move in dreams, been impacted by encounters in their neighborhood. I've heard about all kinds of mission work as well--an orphanage built in Cambodia, family mission trips to a racially divided town in the deep South.
I sit back sometimes and think that people might look at these visits and think--wait, weren't you supposed to get a "report"--almost financial accountability of what's been going on in the ministry all semester? Sure, I get a chance to do that some--but what really interests me is seeing how God's impacting the lives of people here in Dallas just as much as people in Washington DC.

They say it to us over and over again in InterVarsity training "fundraising is ministry....fundraising is ministry." Sounds like they're right.

Since I last wrote

2007-12-19T10:52:00.000-08:00

Since I last posted, I've done some traveling and made it back to Texas.

My last weekend in DC we had a Georgetown visioning retreat for InterVarsity.
The students looked at a lot of materials, prayed, and found a vision they would get behind for the coming semester. Current goals/vision includes focusing on prayer, increasing student involvment and leadership, and inviting more friends to fellowship events.
It was a very successful day and it is exciting to see them all be happy and energetic about this vision!

After that, I went to a WM alums party at Tom and Sara's apartment, great to reconnect with that crowd!

Sunday after church at St. Theresa's, my local Catholic parish (where the priest is on the board of Sojourners!), I got an interesting visit from some friends of the Catholic volunteers down the street. I classified them as "Christian anarcists"--because of all their anti-politics talk. They want to start a Catholic worker house that serves more as spiritual renewal for those people out "serving in the field" more.

Monday through Wednesday of last week I went to another installment of New Staff Training--this time on New Student populations. We talked about how to expand our InterVarsity chapters to include different kinds of students than we've included in the past.
My coworker and I focused on Catholic students and athletes.
My favorite exercise we talked about looking for "glimpses of the gospel" in the cultures and actions of our student populations. For instance, when talking about trying to include GLBT (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered) students in our fellowships--one staff person talked about admiring the group's willingness to be unashamed in their identity. This is something we would want Christian students to feel more about claiming their faith.

Thursday we had a spring break bible study planning meeting at our house, talking about several sections from Luke.
I left early to volunteer at International Justice Mission (www.ijm.org)'s annual benefit banquet. I got to bring 7 students and friends alongside me. During my time at William and Mary I was heavily involved in a campus chapter of IJM. It was a lot of fun to connect students to some of the people working for IJM and other justice-related careers. One of my students had never heard of IJM before! That was a lot of fun to see her discover it for the first time.

Friday was my last day on campus. Friday evening we had our staff Christmas party.

Early Saturday morning I flew back home to Texas.

Being home has been great.......
Got to attend Nikki's graduation and post-parties.
Lots of time to bake, visit donors and get moderate amounts of sleep. I've found some free-week offerings at local gyms I'm enjoying.

I'm also starting a 4-week "back from college" bible study with students from my home church. This past sunday's first study was well attended and people really enjoyed talking about Jonah 1 and whether they were running from God. Great time!

A December Visit

2007-12-06T11:58:00.000-08:00

I got to pop down to William and Mary for a whirlwind 36 hour visit this week.

When I work everyday of both last weekend and this one--well I decided it was ok to take my "weekend" in the middle of the week.
Beating the snow, I got down late Tuesday night.

With so many people at school, I feel like each visit I get to see either people I didn't see the time before or people I haven't visited yet all semester.
This time I got in the first professor visits all semester.

I also got to attend the alternative gift fair--one of my favorite things I got to particate with during my time at school.

Overallgood visit.

Each time helps me take a step back and realize what's going on at Georgetown IV by contrast....and how God's moving in my own life and heart. How much I'm changing--and both how similar and different college students can be from one place to the next.

Circle of Hope

2007-11-26T15:04:00.000-08:00

While visiting Philadelphia, I visited this church Circle of Hope. http://www.circleofhope.net/blog/

I'd heard of the church through New Monastic connections--it's a church many of the "simples" in the philadelphia area attend and a favorite in "Emergent" church circles as well.

Definitely an interesting, alternative service.

The music was generally hymn-based--though some songs were in other languages--something, when I sit back, I realize I've never seen done much in a church context. (FYI: It is an InterVarsity value that in order to express and understand God's love for people of "all cultures" that we embrace multicultural worship that honors that God is God of the whole earth and all its people).

Besides that though it gave the guise of a regular contemporary-type service that--sometimes painstakingly attempts to do.

However--there was no "talk" or sermon. I found this really refreshing.

Instead someone--who must've been a leader stood up and talked about how she was going to answer a question from the "question box," probably something they had at the back of the church.
The question was "Is it easier for "N" people to come to faith than "S" people?" This was referencing the Myer's Brigg's type indicator--N people, intuitive versus S, sensing refers to how we take in information. Usually we are dominate one or the other--or on some kind of continuum. N people are more drawn to theories, overarching ideas and connections where as S people are more drawn to concrete facts and details....or something like that.

She said the question had an assumption within it that faith was something intangible and whimsical--that only those who live in the world of theory would be able to grasp it.
She said that yes, we do often choose though how we relate to God, whether dominating in the S or N territory of our spiritual lives.

Following this we did two prayer exercises---one that allowed us to use our S side, another that allowed us to use our N side.
For the S side we prayed, considering everything that had taken place that day--thinking about when we'd felt most/least loved, grateful.
For the N side we prayed, the leader read a passage from Matthew 6 3 times through, we concentrated first on a word, then a feeling, then an invitation.

After this there was a time to "talk back"--and much to my surprise (I've seen the audience participation thing attempted many times in church with no response)--people really responded, questioned her logic and arguments. How exciting! It was great to see people so engaged with the subject!

This was a great church example to see and pushes me to continue to be very thoughtul about my own church placement--not just settling but really searching out the place God wants me to be.

Thanksgiving Break

2007-11-26T14:40:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile since I've done a general life update kind of blog entry.
Here's one.

Thanksgiving break was great. Tuesday evening I left campus earlier than any Tuesday this semester (our usual large group night has me at campus until almost 10:30/11 most weeks). I met up with a friend from elementary school who's now a bartender at the only mexican food happy hour joint near my end of DC. There I got to meet some great characters--a homeless man who sells the paper made by homeless of DC, the blind jazz singer Banana Cafe hires).

Next I got to spend the evening with a great Texas friend Nikki and her boyfriend. Along with her brother who I hadn't seen in at least a year! I'd heard about her boyfriend for a long time before and it was great to meet someone who exceeded expecations and thoughts I'd had before about him. Really great!

After spending the night at Nikki's UT housing spot, I took the train up to Philadelphia where WM roommate Janelle picked me up. We spent the afternoon hanging around Camden, NJ looking around her ministry with Urban Promise. I got to meet the old regional director of Mid Atlantic InterVarsity, dedicated administrative staff and talk to other interns--including one from Malawi!

Janelle and I took a longer-than usual (busyest travel day of the year!) trip up the NJ turnpike to her home in Little Falls, New Jersey.

While in Little Falls, we got to go into New York for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade (a 2nd for me--but this time 60 degrees outside! great day!). We went to a close family friend's 25th wedding anniversy celebration which was a wonderful celebration of family and loving life together. We also spent an afternoon with Rebecca, a girl who'd been in the small group Janelle and I co-lead for all 3 years we lead it.
Just spending time with Janelle's family was great--good to see where she gets much of herself from--from her sarcasm to attention to detail and the needs of others. Hospitality is something she's learned from those closest to her.

I ended off getting dropped off by Janelle in Philadelphia for a short visit with a couple of friends there.
My friend Sean is investment banking in the city center, it's great to experience city life with him! I also got to see my friend Evan from college who's doing Americorp's "City Year" program in Philadelphia this year. They begin each day doing cheers and jumping jacks outside the city hall area of town. A lot of fun to see him enjoying this position so much and embracing the multifaceted sides of this city!

Great break!

Communicating Values

2007-11-26T14:29:00.000-08:00

Lately I've been thinking alot about my time spent with students.

Much of my time as "campus staff" for InterVarsity is spent one-on-one with students, essentially talking. Talking, eating, listening, drinking coffee.

So either I have a very vibrant social life (which I wouldn't totally deny on some days)--or there's something else going on there--something a little deeper and possibly more spiritual than just hanging out.

But what is it? What exactly is my goal in this "relational" discipleship process?

Goal 1: build a relationship. Before any person--college student or not is going to share intimately of their personal life or spiritual being--the person inquiring needs to show genuine interest in them as a person. Interest in what their passions are, their past, their friends, their desires. There's a prerequisite of simply taking the time to listen to someone and befriend them.

But once it goes beyond this--often the waters become murky. With some wise guidance I've begun to think about the kinds of values I am imparting to others. Essentially thinking of these times with students as potential one-on-one teaching opportunities.
But what am I teaching?
I think we all teach lessons we don't always think too deeply about. I know in the past I've show people who've respected me in similar form to students now the importance of worrying about academics or obssessing about relationships, fearing the future, etc. Of course these weren't the lessons I really wanted to teach or communicate--but by talking about these things constantly--I showed what really mattered to me in life.

So this process is two-fold. One, searching, praying and seeking for what I really do value when it comes to the Christian life. Is grace something that I see as essential? I say it is. But do I live that way? Do I teach that? So discovering what values I find essential to a healthy Christian walk.

Then discovering ways to communicate these values to others. Probably this takes many formats--reading books related to the subjects (books about grace, social justice, whatever I know to be truly important), praying for growth in those areas, Asking students questions about these values--and learning to talk about what God's teaching me on each.

Maybe first I should choose a few values.....or even just one thing I'd hope students who spend time with me even after a semester would walk away having learned about being in relationship with God.

What's important to know/exercise as a Christian? open to thoughts and suggestions......

Commitment

2007-11-20T13:01:00.000-08:00

Our community House came together this weekend and put down some of our commitments to one another.

When we moved in almost 3-4 months ago now we all came in not knowing each other before. Each of us had different expectations and hopes about what living in Anacostia and together in an "intentional community" might look like.

Over time, it's been difficult to realize that we did have differing ideas.

To start to resolve this, in the tradition of monastic communities we began to formulate a rule of life. First this was going to be a rule of life that we created together. However, over time, it's appeared that before creating one together we should each sit back and pray to consider what we could commit to personally.

We each came to our community meeting Sunday bringing a list of the commitments we were making to ourselves, to God, to others in the community house and to the neighborhood.
Over our time sharing, some themes began to emerge. Our common rule of life and vision statements will likely come from the result of this.

Major values
A. Seeking to be students of the city & of poverty
1. Regularly discussing and educating ourselves about issues facing the city, our neighbors and those living in poverty.
2. prayer walking around the neighborhood
3. volunteering in organizations that help the city
4. church involvement
5. civic involvement
B. Being Good Neighbors especially our immediately surrounding neighbors
1. Regularly speaking to our neighbors, inviting them over when appropriate, asking about their lives and sharing about ours
2. Involvement at the local elementary school
3. Financial and business investment in the area: shopping at the local grocery, using the library
4. Caring for those who care for the area: building relationships with people who serve in full-time volunteer status in the neighborhood, Simple House volunteers who care for housing projects in the area or friends who work for after school programs or as teachers.
C. Bridge Building
1. Thursday night dinners where we invite friends from other parts of the DC area to our house
2. Area college student involvement in our house and neighborhood
3. Sharing what we're learning in the area with each other and friends
4. Valuing our outside of community relationships
5. bridging the economic and racial divisions in the city
D. Community Life and Intentional Spiritual Formation
1. Active involvement in each other's lifes
2. Being present at home together
3. Commual living-sharing our finances and property with each other
4. Daily morning prayer together
5. Sunday community nights: we eat, pray, share and study together
6. Daily personal devotional time, keeping that seprate and valued
7. Regular Sabbath-keeping by members
8. Submission of personal concerns to the community

Theology of Abundance versus Theology of Scarcity

2007-11-11T11:29:00.000-08:00

I've had this idea floating around in my head for weeks now.

I'm thinking about this idea that God is a God who gives richly, his gifts are abundant....more than we could ever ask or imagine.

However, we as people often get stuck in a scaricity mentality. Either we think we must hoard what we have or we start to believe in a world of competition rather than abundance.

Let me throw out an example. My home church.

My home church White's Chapel UMC in Southlake Texas is a large, hometown congregation. A few years ago another large church planted in town. I'm sure at the time many people were worried that the new church would "steal" all of our members.

But with a couple of years under out belts now--this has not happened at all. Both churches....I believe...have grown. Each have several thousand members.

God is a God of abundance. When we think there's a limited pool to draw from--God shows he si God of the whole universe, not just our plot of people.

With a theology of scarcity there is a belief that there is a finite level of resources and that if someone else gets some of those resources, than it means I have less. Everything is always a zero-sum game. This creates attitudes which allow us to justify accumulation and acquisition as a means of ensuring that we have enough. It also has led to believe that God rewards us for faith by blessing us with wealth and things.

In the economy of God everyone has all that they need, there is enough always to go around.

It is a theology of Abundance, which believes that God has given us all that we need. We are called to share all that we have in order to ensure that all have a share in God's Blessings. In the theology of the abundance we are called to recognize our unique blessings from God and find ways to give back that call us in to relationship with our brothers and sisters. In Matthew 25 we are told that whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers and sisters you do to me. It is clear that Christ calls us to a radical way of relating to the world through our time talents and treasures. We are clearly called to go beyond the law to a deeper sense of giving.

When we know that God gives richly, we want to give richly to others as well.
It's about trusting that when we give God will provide for us in big, more than sufficient type of ways.

look up the concept: theology of abundance versus theology of scarcity.
I'm not sure I've done it great justice here.

But I know I'm constantly finding myself falling into a theology of scarcity that's allowing me to see other ministries, people, charities as competition--and I know that's problematic!

Free School Breakfast

2007-11-08T19:02:00.000-08:00

About three weeks ago I started monitoring the breakfast period at the elementary school down the street--Orr Elementary (about a block away).

Most of the kids in the school get free breakfast every morning as part of the free lunch program by the federal government.
During that time period each day the teachers are going through professional development. So the only people monitoring the 200-300 kids from age 3-11 are a few aides. Most disciplinary action includes a lot of yelling, blowing of whistles, etc. Not a lot of positive reinforcement going around--but also the scene is wild--imagine even just a few kids chasing each other in a small room....chaos ensues.

One of my roommates--another IV staff at George Washington University takes a couple of students down to the school to volunteer one day a week. When they were getting to know the principal they asked if there were other volunteer needs. She spoke about how crazy the kids get during breakfast. And how much she would rather have the breakfast be a time for reading quietly rather than crazy running around/getting in trouble before the day even starts.....

So enter me--I can be free from 8am-8:45am most every morning. So at first I committed to two days a week. But starting this week I've been going more often because I really enjoy it.

So several incentives here......
A. We've had trouble getting to know kids in the neighborhood--our street has only older people on it. Elementary schools are local--so all these kids live near here. I've started to see them walking by on the street, they wave, etc.
B. Short time period--I'm not super into kids....but 45 minutes is a great amount of time. lots of activity, smiles, hugs.....and they're on their way.

So overall it's been a great experience, getting to know the kids, the school, the teachers (one's Teach for America program, a girl we're trying to get to know). At first I felt like the kids were stand offish. But by now a few weeks later.....they run up to me, I'm internalizing more names every day and I'm beginning to see them around the neighborhood too.

Weighty Matters

2007-11-01T07:18:00.000-07:00

I will be vague here. But just bear with me.

There are times--well often many times in any given day when I realize I need to be so much more a person of prayer than I am. Sometimes it's when I have an awkward conversation with a student, when I reaize that I'm just breezing by people on campus, not thinking about how their expressions really look.
But it also happens when I start to go into deeper relationship with people--that's when I remember I am not here to hang out, shoot the breeze, make friends.......I'm here to help students see God working amongst their lives. Someone shares something personal--or starts asking me really hard questions about how God intersects with life here. And--wow! I'm caught off gaurd. Time to start taking it seriously and remember what kind of responsibility comes with the opportunity sometimes to literally steward people's spiritual lives.

Georgetown Halloween

2007-11-01T07:10:00.000-07:00

I just spent a lovely night exploring Georgetown University and neighborhood on Halloween!

Exicting because there are a lot of things that go on here for Halloween--a special showing of the Exorcist (filmed in the area) and mobs of people walking "M" street in costume.

And I even got to spend the night on campus---awesome and fun!

Jim Meets Leadership Theory

2007-10-28T21:52:00.001-07:00

The character "Jim" from the Office: who is he? how does he fit in with Leadership models and culture, where are Christian fellowships missing students like him?

OK. So in August a fellow InterVarsity staff said that many students now want to be like the character Jim from the office--Jim isn't the boss, he doesn't make too many waves, he's an opinion leader and a generally funny and likeable guy. However is Jim a leader? What would need to change to empower Jim to be a leader?

This contrasts with another form of leadership, a more traditonal leadership model when in (at least dominant culture)....leaders are those who take risks in public, speak for groups, have a lot of self-initiative and change the direction of a group. That's probably an incomplete model....but in contrast to Jim, a way of seeing leaders as those who continue to "stick their neck out" and put themselves away from the crowd.

I believe many first year students are somewhat like Jim. When I visited last week at William and Mary several students talked about lacking the general motivation to overly involved in much of anything on campus---not only Christian organizations but also fun events or seemingly-interesting sounding campus lectures. They hear about them, they sound good---but then somehow they lacks the motivation. It seems much better to hang around where you are known, loved and well respected among dorm friends.

I think we all have times where we're like the character Jim. Many of my friends in college were like this. They valued time with one another over most everything else--organizational involvment, grades, "outside" relationships. I think this was a good lesson for me in commitment. Probably the Jims of the world--as I stretch the metaphor to oblivion--are very good husbands, fathers, friends?

This must be clarified---to be like Jim is not bad!!! The character of Jim represents a different kind of student, thus who will be a different kind of leader.

But what do we do with this person? InterVarsity and similar organizations have a strong focus on leadership development. But really--when we sit back and think critically about this type of leadership development--it's under the guise that almost anyone can be a leader.

So what kind of leader is the character Jim? Not just how he acts currently---but how could he be grown and molded into a more effective leader? Not one that would look like the boss of the group who was constantly sticking his neck out looking like a fool--but a leader that would be more true to Jim's personality? How do organizations first get someone like Jim involved (remember, he'd rather spend time with those he knows, trusts, cares for)...and retain his membership. What programming and focus makes him interested?

Where's the intersection here though? A friend of mine is doing a study on leadership development, in particular including a case study on a christian leadership conference. The theorized that maybe we have it all messed up--Christians go to leadership conferences really for reasons of personal development rather than for leadership skills. It makes them feel good--but also just focuses on making us all better individuals, more self-aware. It's all about the cultural fascination with the idea of the "self."

So we have: Jim....then traditional enterprenurial leader.
---are these a false dichotomy?
---two different people?
---part of a development continuum?
---do we culturally value or assert one over the other? In different situations?

Does Jim represent the "Bowling Alone" (famous book written recently) theory that Americans now would rather write a check to charity than participate in a bowling league?

SOOOO if everyone can be a leader....what kind of leader will Jim become?

A Prayer Place: Fall Conference 2007

2007-10-28T19:55:00.000-07:00

I just came back from our InterVarsity Fall Conference. We had about 150 students from various DC schools come together in the colorful hills of Virginia to hear a speaker talk about Christian living--yes, it sounds broad, but it was about that broad. But not to say that was bad--he just did a really great job of hitting all fascets of Christian life--personal, justice, DC issues, school work, relationships. He spoke for each of four sessions on different Biblical people--Daniel, Ester, Ezra, and Ezekiel.

I got a little push feeling from God a few weeks ago to contribute something to the weekend. Each InterVarsity staff person from the area attends the conference and between us we do a lot of the "putting together" of the details--one person volunteers to put on the coffee, another volunteers to gather books to sell, another organizes the worship team. As the new person, I didn't volunteer for anything.

But I felt like God was wanting me to put together a "prayer room" for the weekend. I've been really blessed by prayer rooms before both at the Urbana missions conference and Orientation for new staff put on by InterVarsity. In a prayer room--well mostly it's set aside as a guaranteed quiet place to meet God. Others have gone before and prayed a lot in the room.

However, it's also a place to set aside some other forms of prayer. I gathered pillows, blankets, art supplies and candles from several staff members for this portion. The candles allowed students to light a reminder of God--or several reminders of God even. Pillows and blankets allowed students to literally "rest" with God if necessary. I also gathered art supplies. Students could write out verses, make a clay model, or create a piece of art to God. Several wrote out bible verses or prayer--complete with visual reprentations. Crosses, crowns, birds, fires, hands, hearts.

We also put up some poster boards--one with "God is" and space to add on the names of God. One with Psalm 100 and space to add things we were thankful for. Another with a generic prayer request and space to add on post-it note names and places.

Overall, I was very pleased with the outcome. Many students--especially those who were less familiar with the idea of a "quiet time" or prayer I think really found sollace in the ability to "do" prayer rather than have their mind wander or sit confused. I hope to be able to put something like it together again.

Two way Street?

2007-10-23T12:35:00.000-07:00

The other day I let a student buy me coffee.

This isn't how these things are supposed to go--as part of my fundraising for InterVarsity, I have an expense account which I can use to take students out for coffee, lunch, buy snacks for our evening meetings, etc. Essentially, I'm supposed to be giving towards them in many ways--food, time, my love, thoughts and care.

But when she offered--I accepted. Why? Because I think I'm needing to learn some lessons about reciprocity, especially in relationships where I often want to just be the giver, rather than the receiver.

This applies to my life on many levels. On campus, I'm struggling a lot with finding that line of vulnerability/friendship/divulgance with students I didn't ever have a peer relationship with--at a school unfamiliar to me. How much do I share with them? How can I expect them to share with me when I won't talk about myself? Of course, those who know me, know I'm probably more likely to fall into saying too much rather than too little on this front.
But maybe I'm not being as open as I could be on campus, open to being blessed by students and letting them do for me.

However, when I was doing my honors thesis research I think God did a lot of work on me about receiving gifts from others. While I expected to go and listen, research and learn from each community--I never expected to be treated so well, cared for and given hospitality to the extent i was. I learned to humbly allow others to serve me much more than I had before.

But it also applies in my neighborhood. When I sit back and take a hard look at myself and my motivations. I see that often I am much more comfortable with a charity relationship with those in poverty. I give, they receive, we understand our roles and everyone goes home relatively unchanged. However, I think I'm missing something there. Before I can hope to sincerly give to others around me, especially where i live where racial and economic divisions are pronounced--I need to become familiar with a friendship, two-way relationship with those around me. What that would look like? I'm not quite sure yet. But probably rather than dolling out money or volunteer hours--it would mean asking to borrow things from neighbors, telling them my stories. Essentially the way that relatonships naturally develop.....or something like that.

Getting a Car?

2007-10-23T12:23:00.000-07:00

Lately--at the prompting of friends, coworkers and close advisors I've been seriously considering acquiring a car.
I got back from a weekend to Williamsburg where a good friend lent me his car for the weekend. Not only was I able to stay much longer than usual--I also had the freedom of leaving at 8:30pm Friday night, and arriving in Williamsburg in almost 2 hours! During the weekend I got to see some missionary friends from Louisiana in Richmond--without the car, this wouldn't have happened.

This is something that's left me very conflicted....let me explain.

Reasons in the pro-column:
-It would ease my commute back home late nights from campus from about 1.5 hours to about 20 minutes. This would be safer sometimes--but also just improve general quality of life. Getting home at 10:30pm is much more pleasant than 12am in terms of my sleep.
-But also the sheer blessing that a car can be to others--I find often the only thing I ever need to ask others for is a ride. With a car, I could be very giving with the car--allowing students to borrow it, giving people rides to target, carrying supplies to campus, moving things from the house.

However, many reasons some together that convict me about not getting a car...
--Cost. I find it to be an issue of stewardship right now with my resources. Having a car would likely raise my monthly expenses by at least 33%--currently I have that money to spend. I probably would still end up taking the metro to work most days so that money would not necessarily all be rechannelled.
--Having my own vehicle--like the other 3 vehicles our hosue already has, would in some ways only allow me to be even more independent and evade community, getting to come and go as I please.
--parking. In georgetown, parking near campus I'd literally have to move the car every 2 hours to avoid getting a parking ticket--on a day-to-day basis this is simply not practical.
--I moved to the city to avoid having a car--at the cost of higher rent, inconvenient parking.
--Environmental issues--I am concerned about the witness of just adding another carbon dioxide producing box to the system--shouldn't I be instead buying into these systems like zipcar or things like that?
--This weekend I got to borrow a car--there are many instances, where I could enter into similar car sharing arrangements with others. This would keep us likely more dependent on others and would better utilize a resource that every single person doesn't necessarily have to own for themselves.

Just some of the thoughts swimming in my head, please add an other thoughts in the pro or con box.

Quote on Proximity and Stereotyping

2007-10-16T11:19:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot about race. It's something I'd normally not want to mention on this forum--despite my life experiences and readings, etc that have equipped me to be more comfortable talking about race....I still feel that American desire to ignore the issues, be embarassed to talk about it--or try to convince myself it "doesn't really matter anymore." However, I know this is a lie.

I've been reading a blook, "Blink" about how we should often trust our first instinct on decisions, learn to understand our snapshot thinking and hone it. Part of honing it is recognizing when our first thought is being shapped by stereotypes and judgment rather than skilled information intake.

This quote made me think about some of my aims living where I live....

"Our first impressions are generated by our experiences and our environment, which means that we can change our first impressions--we can alter the way we thin-slice--by changing the experiences that comprise those impressions.

If you are a white person who would like to treat black poeple as equals in every way--who would like to have a set of associations with black s that are as positive as those that you have with whites--it requres more than a simple commitment to equality. It requires that you change your life so that you are exposed to minorities on a regular basis and become comfortable with them and familiar with the best of their culture, so that when you want to meet, hire, date,or talk with a member of a minority, you aren't betrayed by your hesitation and discomfort.

Taking rapid cognition seriously--acknowledging the incredible power, for good and ill, that first impressions play in our lives--requires that we take active steps to manage and control those impressions."
-Malcolm Gladwell, p. 98

I love you THIS much

2007-10-10T16:25:00.001-07:00

This week all the first three-year InterVarsity staff in our region (PA, Delaware, DC, Maryland) came together for a 2.5 day conference/training time. It’s called New Staff Training.

As with many InterVarsity staff events, we began with personal reflection time. At first this practice appeared a little quick to me—getting serious and spiritual from the beginning instead of waiting until the end when people’s lives had been changed by messages, ideas, etc. But now, we enter the time here hopefully centered in God and—for many of us this kind of reflection time acts as our time to do “our business” with God before engaging any other topic. Normally they give us an idea/passage to prompt us….and then give us about 1.5 hours alone with the Lord.

Today we were given 1 Thessalonians 1 which is a chapter where Paul writes to the Thessalonians about how much he loves and values them—and he gets specific. He values their works prompted by faith, labor from love, things like that.

We were then give the prompt to consider who in our lives would talk about us this way. Mentors? Spiritual guides from early in our lives? Who would pray for us in this way—thank God for us? What would they say about us?

For me, several names came up right away—a woman who’d worked at our church at home, the staff worker at William and Mary and Bangkok, a girl who’d mentored me through college. People who had watched me grow, prayed for me and I knew took a lot of joy in me. On a different plane, I’d also put my parents into this.

We were then supposed to think---wow, well these “human encouragers”—what they were/are thinking and praying about us this way was possible because they saw us through God’s eyes. What if God felt this way about us? What if God took that kind of joy in us or gave thanks for us similarly?

I had a difficult time entertaining that thought—it was hard to place myself into the shoes of those who had cared for me. Instead, I found it much easier to think on those people who I had watched grow and learn from God. I found it much easier to understand and identify with the emotions and desires I had for their lives than to consider how others thought that way of me.

During my time at William and Mary I was given several special relationships—people who I got to closely watch God work in their lives, develop them as people and transform their character. When I think of them still—I well-up with love and excitement. I love them with a love that I can’t understand, a love that supersedes what I probably thought possible. I smile when they come to mind.

I started listing the characteristics of how I felt about these people……
-deeply involved in their lives
-loved, cared for them, sought ways to serve them, cried with and for them
-believed in their potential
-strong desire for them to meet others I love…..and to understand/experience things that bring me joy or I’m particularly passionate about
-prioritizing their relationship over others
-eagerly listening to their thoughts and reflections
-patiently waited for them, waiting when pushed away, when meeting stubbornness
-keeping no list of wrongs/short list mentality—not holding any kind of grudge
-unchanging in my feelings, love not held in their performance, negative actions didn’t change that I loved them
-fight for their good, defend them when they’re not there
-searching out opportunities for their betterment
-willingness to go out of my way/look like a fool to demonstrate my love for them

And it hit me—hard. God had given me a bit of a glimpse into how he felt about these individuals, how He loved them very deeply. Possibly how a parent loves a child. And when I reflect that this isn’t exactly how God loves these people either---it’s only a very, small, small slice. My love is imperfect, often self-serving and ignorant of these people’s real needs. But God’s love is flawless and unchanging.

So step back……and consider that all these characteristics are instead a list of how God loves and cares for me. What if God felt these emotions about me? And not just when I did really “good” or had a sinless moment—but instead all the time—when I messed up, was really stubborn, or said hateful things to HIM?

Wow. Pretty radical, crazy love that is.

How does it change a person to be loved with that kind of love?

The Spiritual Discipline of Picking up Trash

2007-10-07T05:08:00.000-07:00

Yesterday several Georgetown students came into my neighborhood to do a trash clean up.

At first I'd tried to be fancy--I called all the formal area Watershed societies and tried to set up something official, something where they would send out a staff member to share information with us. Hopefully then we'd also get a very neat project--something where we could feel accomplished at the end and really help change the place.

But in the end all the societies were booked for the date I needed to choose--and I felt God leading me again and again to simply go out and pick up trash on the street.

Several reasons--it's simple. It's also very needed--there is often---as we found trash bags full of litter lining just one of our neighborhood streets. I think it's also a lesson in humility. For one---we're cleaning up a mess we didn't make. One person reflected that this happens at Georgetown all the time--someone else cleans up our mess that they didn't make!

But one of the most significant things I find about picking up trash is that it's completely overwhelming. You can never be done. And if you are---well in two days the problem will look just like it does now again. I think it's a great lesson for social activists. A good reminder--you can make a small dent in a social problem--hunger, poverty, homelessness.......but at the end of the day, the problem is still daunting, and will likely resurface when you stop paying attention.

I don't see this as a reason to lose hope--except hope in ourselves as saviors of the world and instead to reconsider our means of social activism and social change to reflect the reality of Christ's ability to be the only one to really change the world--even if through us sometimes.

Nikki!

2007-10-05T06:30:00.000-07:00

One of my best friends from middle school/high school/life has been "studying away" from UTexas Arlington this semester in Washington DC.

I'm sooo thankful to have her here. We've gotten to do a lot great things together--she's seen my house, I've seen her's. She came to my birthday party, we've been to a festival, and 2 concerts.

She's been the saving grace of my social life this semester.

Training Events

2007-10-02T20:58:00.000-07:00

The past two days we've been to InterVarsity area training events.

Monday all the area InterVarsity staff members (from DC, Baltimore, Northern Virginia area) came to Baltimore for speaker training. We were each supposed to come with a prepared talk ready to give, manuscript in hand.

It was great to have the ability to focus for a whole day--I find often in staff life that we're trying to balance the needs and intiatives of an entire group of people--the fellowship. Finding time to give a whole day to something like speaking seems otherwise impossible.

We also talked about important issues--how to communicate Biblical truth about God in a way that's memorable. When we were students, what did we remember? We talked about bumper sticker phrases and concepts that stick out to us ("friends plus"...."chest of drawers"...."spiritual bulimia"). These things conjure up ideas and images for us. Using these will help our students learn....and also doesn't place all the pressure on us. One of the most important issues we discussed was who are we trying to glorify? Us? or God? When we're glorifying God in a talk--we're less likely to have to be showy or worry about being funny, likeable, etc.

This was good. Tuesday was also a good day of staff training. We met in our "area teams"--for me this meant meeting at my boss in Maryland's house along with the other 11 DC-area staff (from George Washington University, University of Maryland, Howard University, NOVA, St. Mary's). We talked about how New Student Orientation had gone, hopes for changes to make in the future.
Next--as is the InterVarsity staff way--we did scripture study. This lasted until lunch time. We studied from Genesis about Jacob---when God forms a covenant with him about the land--and when Jacob wrestles with God.
The ultimate question we came to pray about was "where in our personal relationships with God are we wrestling?"....meaning, where are we in a struggle with God, wanting for something in our lives to change--demanding that God bless us. The exciting thing was that God honors Jacob in his stubbornness and wrestling, demanding of the blessing, still blessing him and making a promise to be with him and not leave him.
For many of us it related to personal issues with staying in the job, romantic relationships, or uncertainty about placement or calling. I think I answered that I felt like I was wrestling with God over most of my life right now--the transition and hoping that God will meet me in my struggle, show me blessing and help it to work out.

The afternoon was a bit different. We talked about plans for our fall conference coming up, divided up responsibilities. We talked about potential scripture passages to choose for the spring conference.

Then we just got some significant time to pray for our campuses--specific students, issues where we felt we were wrestling with God.

By the evening we were all back to our campuses for Tuesday evening large groups. It was great to have the time away though--to get some perspective on the movement at large--but also to refocus that it's all about God's work on campus, not our own.

A Prophet

2007-09-30T08:46:00.001-07:00

Last Thursday one of my friends hosted a dinner with his out of town friend---Stu, a claimed prophet.

I came in with little expectations and left probably feeling all things from surprise, healing, and skepticism.

He had a talent for holding a crowd and spoke to people individually and the group at-large with ease. He talked to one girl next to me about taking hold of the peace of God. I think he was talking about giving her advice to share with others--but he was also speaking to her. It as one of these instances where he would say "God has this to say to you...." Certainly more charismatic than my background.

I believe he opened with "what if I told you you never have to be stressed again?"

I came in tired and a little overworked from Georgetown. I did feel peace from God wash over me as he talked to the girl next to me about peace and letting God take care of problems in our lives.

Next he spoke to me directly. He said I could act as an agent of mercy and forgiveness at Georgetown--speaking the forgiveness of sins and acceptance of unconditional love of God directly into peoples lives. I do believe this would be one of the best things I could do on a campus like Georgetown--speak truth to people and have them feel and experience genuine forgiveness and acceptance. Displaying mercy.....

Besides speaking to some individuals he also talked alot about how God doesn't always have to work within a church building--he had many beliefs and lists about the components of true, good discipleship. I found this funny almost--I'd been praying that someone would help teach me how to disciple others--not just tell me to do it.
Here were his suggestions:
1) seeing the fruits of the spirit (peace, love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, selfcontrol)
2)freeing people from bondage--spiritual bondage, judgment, generational inequity
3)receive the love of God openly
4) Learn that God's love is based in his relationship with you--not in how you perform
*this reminds me of my old IV staff worker's motto Grace plus NOTHING equals right standing with God.

And once we're in this process of making disciples.....not just converts, numbers, members, where do we go next?
1) teach people to avoid things that "make void" the work of God: human tradition, attempts to earn grace, human wisdom
2) teach people kingdom finances: getting out fo debt, tithe, offering
3) basic knowledge of scriptures, teaching disciples to hear god themselves
4) teach a sense of vision for the nature of the church, the function of spiritual gifts in churches
5) teach how to be a servant to God, the people God loves, the people of God

And yet after this great session with this guy helping us experience the peace, presence and power of God......my roommate and I left and talked about being stressed and tired. Will we ever take hold of what God so readily holds out for us?

Men's Retreat

2007-09-29T18:09:00.000-07:00

Please pray for the men of our fellowship this weekend--14 went off to a retreat in Maryland.

This year several men of the group have stepped up to be intentional about gaining and retaining male fellowship/spiritual growth in InterVarsity. We are really thankful for their passion and desire to see God work in our group this year.

They are sharing testimonies tonight and talking about how to use their time in college for God and others tomorrow.

Bringing all things together

2007-09-25T11:35:00.000-07:00

Last week in the Ephesians Bible study I co-lead with a sophomore student we were talking about how God's plan is to bring together all things under the head of Jesus.....

Essentially we were talking about large scale reconciliation in the world.....but also reconciliation in relationships, etc.

Recently, I've been feeling very torn, pulled actually sometimes into several different directions--the needs of IV at campus, the girls in my house, Anacostia, looking for a church, DC area new monastic friends, other DC area friends, taking a fitness instructor course, getting oriented to the city, thinking of when to visit my brother and family, the list goes on.....

One of my big prayers over the past few weeks has been for some unity in my life, not this feeling that I'm needing to accomplish 50 different things in a day schedule that only allows time for 30. Overextension and the stress from that are a mark and characteristic of the overcommited culture of this city and the students I see at Georgetown daily. Especially because of this, I desire to display that stress and busyness as an attitude and reality are not the only way--that there can be peace and a way through the rubble of scheduling.

Some of the ways I've seen God beginning to pull some things together in my life.....
-seeing good friends of mine from college choose the church I think will be my out of Anacostia church.
-in our community visioning meeting, we're been talking about acting as a bridge to the rest of the city that holds a lot of stereotypes about our section of town. This pulls together home, Georgetown, and some of our other friends--and begins to alleviate some of the stress I've felt about not being as involved/known in the neighborhood as I'd like. If our purpose is possibly different, the perspective can change some too.
-seeing a lot of themes of catholicism in my life--Georgetown as a catholic school, coleading with a catholic student, probably attending a catholic church in our neighborhood, making friends with a catholic volunteer house down the street.
-having a couple of friends with flex daytime schedules. Hoping I can get together with them during some of these times to keep myself sane....and from working from 9am-midnight every day without stopping.....at least mentally taking a break.
-getting a bit more time in Anacostia weekly, allowing for me and a housemate to spend time together volunteering, making connections....and possibly some day bringing down students to join us!
-starting to feel loved and respected by students....never meant to be the goal, but it is filling some of the hole I feel from being gone from William and Mary.

Sabbath "doing"

2007-09-25T11:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday--after an intense week of long hours at Georgetown, planning the New student retreat--and then going on the retreat, returning home to a house meeting until 11pm Sunday evening......I needed some time "off."

I'd decided to take Monday as a sabbath day for awhile. I'd also decided to take the day to go bike to Mount Vernon--a trail about 20 miles south of the city.

But all of this left me struck with how often we have the desire to accomplish something. Even on my day off.....I needed to accomplish, 40 miles of biking or so. Still, there was the sense that at least I wasn't working on emails (the biggest part of a sabbath within this job), Bible study prep or fundraising.

But still I wonder, what good would a whole day of "nothing"--praying, restoring, being, have felt good to me? What about in the eyes of God--he gives his grace freely--and I sometimes think a sabbath where nothign formal is accomplished can help remind us that the Lord loves uis regardless of whether we are working 1 or 15 hours in a day, he chooses us not because of what we can do.

I still did get some good time away from email and some time to sit and think a bit, be humbled and in awe of creation and even the life I'm living here.

New Student Retreat: one down, one to go!

2007-09-25T11:20:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we took 8 freshman women and 4 upperclass women on a retreat to Charolettesville Virginia.
Overall, great time to get to know people and start to establish this as a core community for these freshman women.
We tried to get across a couple of key messages--and I think they stuck.
1: Jesus as LORD of our lives. Who is Jesus that we would drop everything, like Peter, to follow him? How was this man this amazing?
Beyond that, what does it mean to follow him? Does it mean attending more Bible studies or doing less "wrong" things? We suggested instead of even making Jesus first priority in our lives he should be the framework for our lives--where everything else comes from (used the chest of drawers illustration from Marty Purks at William and Mary--instead of having Jesus be a drawer of our lives--big or small, Jesus doesn't want to be compartmentalized but instead the framework within which we fit the rest of our lives--academics, relationships--into).

2: Acting as a missionary on campus--these freshman women have an amazing opportunity in college. They will spend the next few years living closely to people of all kinds of backgrounds and opinions. They can choose to love and engage those who are different--or separate themselves.
For this, my coworker created a large chart of how, in their times on campus, these girls could either "Radically Identify" like Jesus or be "radically different" like Jesus. Examples of when Jesus radically identified included when Jesus ate with sinners, wept over a loss, accepted people without judgment. Ways Jesus displayed being radically different in his time on earth included servanthood, loving "wastefully," displaying humility, and being more interested in other people than they may be in themselves.

We prayed that commitments would be made this weekend and bonds would be formed between these women that would last four years--or more.

We know from past experience that, in most cases, if a freshman can be convinced to come on the freshman retreat their involvement for the year--and often all four--is secured. It must be something about the willingness to leave with a group, put your trust in strangers, and how God speaks to people in these times we set apart.

Great conversations with women of all ages going on--also smores, ice cream sundaes and all other kinds of fun. Great time!

A "Typical" Day

2007-09-19T12:03:00.000-07:00

I realize that I maybe haven't explained fully what I do at Georgetown. The job with InterVarsity is so incredibly varied....I think maybe the best way to do this would be to describe my schedule from the past couple of days.

This Monday:
8-9am: Chapter prayer meeting, we gather and pray for the campus and each other in a chapel on campus
9am-12pm: sit in student center on computer, doing administration: emails, detail work, scheduling student meetings, work on talk for New Student retreat, planning bible study for small group/Ephesians, and scripture study for New Student retreat.
12pm-1pm: take a break to the gym, shower.
1pm-2:15pm: lunch with a junior transfer, we talk about her school before this and opportunities to get involved in social justice related things in the city and on campus
2:30-4pm: hang out with sophomore seeker Bible study leader, hear about her background and tell her about myself and why I'm on campus.
4pm-6pm: meet with other Georgetown campus staff to discuss details of upcoming New Student Retreat, logistics.
more detail work, eat dinner
7-8:30pm: join students walking to area church and attend service with them.
--home

Tuesday:
9:30am-10:30am: home, working on administrative details, emails, small group details
10:30-11:45: commute to Georgetown by bike, stop at Safeway on the way to buy snacks for post large group meeting
12-1:30pm: gym, take a break with a senior aerobics class, shower
1:30-4pm: meeting with co-leader of small group, catch up on life, plan for scripture study on Ephesians
4-5:30pm: emails, scheduling, printing passages for scripture study and new student retreat details
5:30-7pm: attend bible study lead by another intervarsity staff on Luke 6, discuss ways we identify and deny Christ on campus
7-8pm: eat dinner, set up for large group
8pm-10pm: attend large group meeting, includes worship songs, a speaker on prayer, announcements.....hang out afterwards, make meetings with students
commute home and work on details, scheduling for rest of the week.

**These were likely busier than usual days....but a good sense of what I do on a daily basis....meetings, planning, other details work

Pete, Feet and Fish to Eat

2007-09-15T20:44:00.000-07:00

This semester I am attending/shadowing a manuscript bible study at Georgetown that goes through the gospel of Luke.

In manuscript bible study we print off the passage, allowing people to mark up all over it--and sometimes remove the verse numbers and paragraphing of the text. We also us an inductive manner of study--we look to the text (and only the text +commentary, Bible dictionary) to "speak" to us rather than approaching the Bible already knowing what we're looking for (Bible passages on friendship? careers?).

This particular passage was from Luke 5:1-11. It was the story of Simon Peter coming to follow Jesus. In the scene, Jesus is teaching a crowd off the shore of a lake. After the teaching, he instructs Simon Peter to put out to deeper water to fish. Peter protests, saying he's been fishing all night and haven't caught anything--regardless he trusts Jesus enough to try. His nets come up overflowing.

Overwhelmed by the awe-someness of Jesus' prediction and power, Simon Peter falls to his knees and tells Jesus to "go away from him," reminicent of the times in our lives when next to God's perfect, holy nature....we find ourselves completely unworthy. We are put face to face with our inability to measure up to God's standards.

As Simon is lamenting over his sinfulness, Jesus tells him-- "do not be afraid." He then tells Simon Peter from now on he won't just be catching tons of tons of fish...but men.

The next line says they left everything and followed him.

WOW--seeing the amazing power of God (overflowing nets of fish).....Simon is first floored (go away from me Jesus!) then wants to drop his nets and follow.

When I was in high school I worked 3-4 years in the White's Chapel nursery teaching Sunday school to 2 year olds. Reading this passage this week distinctly brought to mind one children's book we had in the class--"Pete, Feet and Fish to Eat." It was essentially the story of Simon Peter's time with Jesus.

This book was actually quite inappropirate for the 2-year old set. Most kids couldn't sit through even a third of it and preferred the books about animals or those with only about 10 pages. I, however, absolutely loved this book. I cried everytime I got to the section that mirrors this passage from Luke.

In the children's story, Simon Peter is telling the story of the overflowing nets--and how seeing Christ's power left him bewildered with his sin and unworthiness. Simon Peter decribes lamenting his sin, being flat on his face before Christ........and then Jesus reenters the picture.

The line that always has me chocking up--"but he didn't care." Jesus didn't care that Simon Peter wasn't perfect and was a sinful man. Jesus wanted to use Simon Peter to tell other people about Jesus and to build his church.

It's amazing how grace can--and needs--to hit us over and over again in life. I think that's what that children's story was to me over and over again--I still cry everytime I read that line. "But he didn't care." Jesus doesn't care how awful I think I am or how completely beyond all hope I am--he stands above me, trying to welcome me in regardless, constantly even.

This message of love, acceptance and radical grace is something I want to share. Next weekend at our new student retreat as I lead a scripture study on this same passage from Luke, I plan to close reading "Pete Feet and Fish to Eat"--or at least a portion of it....hopefully 19-year olds have a longer attention span than toddlers.

My Birthday

2007-09-14T12:40:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was my 23rd birthday. Starting to get to that age where it's no longer super exciting in terms of new opportunities per year....I have cheaper car insurance to look forward to I presume.....

Regardless, I had a wonderful day. At my house in the morning during our daily morning prayer the girls prayed, thanking God for my 23 years of life--how nice! I of course received a traditional singing birthday call from my mother right at 8am on the dot...followed by similar calls from brother and dad later in the day. I got about a bazillion facebook messages.

Last night was great though. About 15 of my friends living the area gathered together to celebrate with me. Almost all were come very different social circles--the girls I live with, people from other DC communities, family, friends from high school, friends from college, coworkers. So many new people.....I had people wearing nametags!

I love the idea of having all the people I love and know well all in one space. My roommate Laura would talk about this often as a dream situation--everyone she loves, all together, getting to know each other. Of course likely the only situation we'll all experience like this will probably be a wedding--or a funeral I guess? But with people scattered across the US and the world....it always seems unlikely.

It was also a great birthday for being in a new place. I remember 4 years ago having my first birthday away from home. My freshman hall came together and really cared for me--throwing me a surprise party and everything! This showed me I did have a community of people who loved me and cared for me......even if it was a really new place....and unfamiliar all the while.

Similarly.....though DC doesn't really feel like home....being surrounded with people who know me and care for me......from as long ago as my birth or middle school......somehow it all just felt right.

Visiting the Homeland

2007-09-14T12:29:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I had the opportunity to go back to Williamsburg, Virginia where I went to school.

I had a great time visiting friends....and remembering what it's like to really "belong" in a place. With all this transition and "newness" in my life here in DC, Williamsburg and the people there really felt like home.

Many of my good friend were out of town for the weekend which gave me ample time to hang out with my younger brother, currently a freshman. We did many freshman things--ate at the caf, went out to the fraternity parties, and hung out on his hall until 4am. He's having a great time and has some good friends. It will be a good place for him.

We even took an adventerous visit to New Town by bike....we went out for dinner for pizza followed by a movie (will's favorite activity)--Shoot 'em Up. The craziest part--the ride back....apparently there are no street lamps in Williamsburg.....yikes....biking in the dark. We'll reconsider before doing that again!

Besides some wonderful time pre-planned before with friends, I also had a great opportunity to run into people on campus. I heard about one friend's awesome summer mission experience and her difficulty adjusting back to the WM community since then. I ran into one friend who'd just broken up with someone--and I had time to stop and listen. I got to spend a lot of time with the WM InterVarsity staff worker who gave me some of the "secrets of the trade" I'd never heard before.....as well as some really key advice and goals to set out for myself over the next couple of weeks. I heard the college president share about his journey of faith....followed by an adventure to ask him for a ride to DC. Only a visit 4 days long would afford these kinds of great experiences.

Before I left a group of friends gathered to pray over me.....for my ministry with InterVarsity and for my time in DC. I felt loved and accepted.....and "sent." Thank you everyone.

Cool Christians: Where did we go wrong?

2007-09-09T19:55:00.001-07:00

Lately I've been thinking about the kinds of social definitions and hierarchies we set up for ourselves. Especially in terms of popularity--there's a human desire to always be looking around---who's cooler than me? who am I cooler than? It's horribly unfortunate when this kind of mentality happens with Christian people--but especially when it takes place within the body of Christ itself.

In one of the lesser known Don Miller books he talks about how we all live with a lifeboat mentality--we're constantly trying to order ourselves against others (who deserves to get in the lifeboat?). I have been struck recently by how much close friends of mine (and myself) go to great lengths to describe how they are a "cool kind of Christian."

There's the whole postmodern Christianity thing. It's about showing that we're not like those kinds of Christians who were traditional, rigid, conservative. It's also the socially-aware Christian.....I'm not like those kinds of Christians who don't get justice or who think global warming is bunk or focus too much on personal salvation. It happens with the partying Christians....I'm not like those kinds of Christians who won't be in the presence of alcohol, who maybe struggle to hold a conversation, or who just aren't "fun" or popular.

We're constantly trying to show ourselves and others how we're the kinds of Christians others would like to be around. We really get the gospel. We should be the ones doing all the evangelism. We should be the ones taking over the churches, the fellowships. We should only trust those with similar opinions.

We find all kinds of social identifiers and labels for classifying who's in and who's out. We call ourselves and others like us the liberal/social-action minded/radically-obedience/"you-know"/different Christians. Those in mega-churches or with prudent behavioral choices or with seemingly prescribed theology need not apply.

I am ashamed by the depth of my judgmental nature and unwillingness to listen to and learn from those of the body of Christ who by human standards remain foreign to us.

***1 Corinthians 12:21 The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!"***

How I need to learn to value/listen to/learn from the parts of the body I've taught myself to despise and tell myself I don't need.

Going "Home"

2007-09-05T20:58:00.000-07:00

If you've seen Garden State.....and if you're a sentimentalist.....you remember the lines about how at one point in life you no longer have a place to call "home" between that time you leave your parent's home until you later go on to build a home of your own for your own family. During that period of time, I'd like to suggest, the idea of home becomes very transient--and sometimes easy to define.

This weekend--or rather for the next 5 days I'm going back to one place that has been a "home" to me for the past four years--Williamsburg Virginia.

I am excited to go for many reasons. For one--many of my good friends are there. After this crazy transitional time--it is good to rest in the company and place of many people who you love love you, trust you and want the very best for you. In some ways, it was my life in Williamsburg, the small group I got to be a part of there that led to my ministry with InterVarsity.....to revisit that place will help remind me of how God has moved in my life and through me...as a reminder that, yes, I can do this thing....loving people that is.

And of course--the traitor I am, I am thrilled to get to see little brother Will thriving in his new college environment as well.

I'm buzzing with excitment...pray I'll be a blessing.....and that I won't get caught up in wishing I was there this year instead.

Biking to work

2007-09-04T10:27:00.000-07:00

As of Sunday I've been biking across Washington from Anacostia to Georgetown. I figure the whole route is about 7-8 miles, but I'm not sure. It takes about an hour each way, sometimes less. This is really joyous because riding the bus was taking upwards of almost 1.5 hours each way.
Besides just the physical exercise of having to bike--there are huge hills in Georgetown and Capitol Hill....well, never noticed that incline before.....I also get a unique chance to see most of the major sights of the city--twice a day even. I pass by the monuments, the capitol, Watergate hotel, the Anacostia and Potomac Rivers. I also feel the physical distance and economic contrast between the area where I work (Georgetown, possibly the wealthiest section of the city) and Anacostia, the lowest-income area of the district.
And besides riding on Pennsylvania Avenue up to the capitol....it's all on bike paths! So, much to my parent's relief....it's safe! I'll be in need probably of an updated bike sometime...but for now it's even been a money savings (no transportation costs!)....I could go on and on about the virtues of biking in the city.

An Answer to Prayer--frozen yogurt?

2007-08-31T16:15:00.000-07:00

So today on campus--having taken my usual really long walk from the bus to campus....I was dead tired. I had all of these things I was carrying.....and I needed to take those things across campus.

I prayed one of those prayers you always feel kind of guilty praying--like you're testing God. I said God--send me a student I know to come take these things from me so I don't have to walk across campus right now.

And of course--he did! Not only did I run into one of my students who was walking across campus right where the baked goods needed to be--but also she had already gotten me frozen yogurt from the dinning hall(my favorite, vanilla soft serve, hint hint).

So God not only meets needs--he also exceeds our expectations. And with the loving care that only a good friend would have. I didn't just need a resting break--I'd thrive with some good frozen yogurt.

Dumpster Diving

2007-08-31T16:12:00.000-07:00

Last night....myself and a few friends went dumpster diving. If you are unfamiliar with the term, I suggest doing a google search. Essentially we went behind several establishments and recovered/redeemed...whatever flowery term you want to choose....leftover food that had been thrown out. Most were posted to expire today.
Great experience! For one--well the adventure is great....two, legally, we're pretty sure it's ok. But the best is the feeling of surprise....what will you get? a chocolate cake? broccoli? apple pie--4 apple pies? All of the above of course! We kept a lot of bread because that keeps very well in the freezer. I had enough muffins to feed the table of interested students today on campus.
It's a great way to make the best of otherwise unused resources--and especially to get the kind of "junk food" I'd never allow myself to buy otherwise!

Creepy Outsider

2007-08-28T16:23:00.001-07:00

So yea. IV staff sounds just so cool. And even from the student perspective--I liked the "staff," these people seemed to have it together, conversed and interacted with non-christians well and the like.
But geez is it hard. For one, it's just simply weird when you think about it that I'm a college graduate--not even from Georgetown....waltzing onto campus every day. Maybe it feels weird because I know that most of the people looking back at me don't know I don;t go to school here.

It seems to easy to fall into the pattern of only knowing intervarsity students. What other legitimacy do I have to be here? Am I supposed to go along as though I'm a freshman again, making friends and getting involved......in my off time? Then only to later "spring" on people that.......oh yea, I'm not actually in college......I just hang out here alot.....um, yea I do get paid....well........

Also what's dawning on me a bit is how much this is throwing me into Christian culture in a way I've never really experienced before as well. In my experience, I was often the person who semi-affiliated with InterVarsity, went to a lot of things....but in some ways prided myself on my semi-diaffiliation and ability to be present in multiple communities on campus....never too deep in the Christian one. Here--well, IV is my job. Identifying with it--well that's kind of inherent.

Today when we were doing surveys on campus......(WM IV has done surveys for years, I've never directly participated, mostly as an Orientation Aide, but still).....and guess who was the one going up to people asking them to fill out a survey asking them whether they believed in God? What did they think was the greatest moral issue? Did their belief in God affect the way they lived? Would they like to be contacted about a Bible Study. Yes it works, people do sign up....however, its just not my usual position. I get a high voice....and start apologizing for what I'm doing--"It will only take a few minutes"...."Umm...it's about beliefs on campus"...."No, you don't have to give your name."

What about this idea that we're offering people "living water"--that Jesus isn't some kind of excusable, throw-away toy.....but the most thirst-quencing, life-giving, exciting thing.....well ever?!? Is that lost in this? I don't think so--but when I act like I'm embarassed to be doing it--well yes, it is.

It will be a challenge to be in many ways representing the institution in this job (must I?). I'm not sure how I'll adjust to this new kind of paradigm. I also don't think I need to feel sucked in or like I've suddenly started in some way "working for the man." How will I be true to myself? my God? My general tendency to draw closer to the non-core group people? What will this look like? Will I get bored?

A prayer for sleep....all too appropriate

2007-08-26T20:44:00.000-07:00

Nighttime can be a time of worries....list making......I know this is true of myself and my mother especially......a prayer I found from the book of common prayer:

"Be present, most merciful God, and protect us through the silent hours of this night, so that we who are wearied by the changes and chances of this world, may take rest in Your abiding changelessness. Through Christ our Lord. Amen."

Growing up is hard to do

2007-08-26T18:43:00.000-07:00

My parents visited me here this past weekend.....new city, new friends, new job.......new everything.

It was a mixed bag. For one, it was wonderful to see them. This past month has been all things hard, stressful, stretching and uncertain.....between moving here without a place to live, moving in with strangers, and not really starting my job until this weekend......it's not been a smooth transition. Don't get me wrong--its an amazing blessing to literally walk into a community of people here, a job I'm very excited about and a life full of a lot of potential.

I was very thankful to have my mother's shoulder to cry on, literally and express genuine emotions. So many people do not have honest relationships with their families--and I am thankful for how my parents take me as I am and don't make me feel like I have to "try" too hard ever.

Regardless, being an overachiever about life in general, I do try to do things right for them. At this--well I didn't quite live up to par. I got us thoroughly lost a few times, coupled with my bad city/tourist driving....left us all a little frazzled at the end of the day. I was disappointed things didn't quite work out right--couldn't get dinner together with all the housemates and couldn't walk around downtown Washington.

It is difficult to communicate often the honesty of the emotions I am feeling in so many of these situations so far--coupled with the realistic potential and hope I see. I know currently they are anxious and empathetic on behalf of me--I am thankful for this but also pray that I will be able to move us all into an active hope and trust that this will all come together. My job will start. I will be able to become better friends with the girls I'm living with and others. We will find some way to interact with the neighborhood.

But for now, I am thankful to have them around as a reminder that I don't always have to be put together or "on top of everything"--sometimes it's ok to fall apart, cry, complain and just plain not know what to do.

Anacostia, a general description of my impressions so far

2007-08-20T06:48:00.000-07:00

Anacostia is the name of the neighborhood here "East of the River" as we say. The District is a small area with 2 rivers cutting from the bottom. To the west bellow the river is Virginia, to the east, the area is still in the district--it's just the part no one goes to. The sewage treatment plant is there, an army base is there.....and well the poor people are there too. But it's actually starting to gentrify quite abit. Whether I'll feel great purpose in being here in 10 years.....well we'd have to see. Anacosita could become prime real estate.

But for now its an all-black neighborhood (though i've heard rumors of another white family/group), mostly low income. There are problems with drugs, prostitution, teenage pregnancy, poor nutrition......but from where we are and what I've seen so far, honestly its a bit difficult to tell, that that's the case. Funny in some ways, knowing its here mostly by the plethora of non-profit organizations doting every street corner--but also probably some ingrained prejudice in me that somehow knows that an all-black neighborhood is probably ridden with social problems.

There are also two general sections of the neighborhood--the more business/busy area of town where more of the non-profits are, the businesses, and also more of the violence and crime. Of course, being so new to town, I'm probably missing things taking place right in front of my eyes as well. But where we are living is actually pretty quiet and residential. Most of the people on our block are elderly or have grown children--some own their homes or at least have lived here for 10years+. It is a stable area. Our neighbors are friendly--but we also don't have best friends just yet either.

The other day when I went on a historic walking tour of Anacostia the tour guide was talking about economic development in the area and how people in the neighborhood--as residents, living daily lives, want more business and retail in the area--and less nonprofit organizations. She said, for her, seeing all the nonprofit organizations gave the idea that her neighborhood was only a charity case to others, not worthy of sitdown restaurants or a coffee shop. I was really struck by this point of hers....and now living here myself....I'd have to say, a part of me agrees--with hestiance, trying to understand the implications of that opinion, but interested nonetheless.

I also went to a play in the business section of Anacostia the other day about violence against women. It was a more diverse crowd than I'd seen in the neighborhood so far, white and black people attended. My gut reaction sometimes is to think things like the arts and money coming in is bad--but then I also have to wonder what kind of progress am I really hoping for around here anyway?

Song Dedication

2007-08-19T21:20:00.000-07:00

So my college friends are a little weird. We call ourselves WMHHA (William and Mary Head Hunters Association).....we have a weekly TTT (totally tubular Thursday)....a few videos to our name....and a yearly CD. On each CD each member of our group gets a song dedicated to them--to encompass "who they are."

Looking at this year's selection the cd-people made for me....I'm struck by how I changed over my time in college.

My freshman year Tore gave me the song: Spindoctor's "little miss can't be wrong"
sophomore year, don't know what happened
but somewhere in there I made a significant shift in my life....
junior year: I got Bob Marley's "Redemption Song"
senior year: "World's on Fire" by Sarah McLachlan

You can see.......I went from well........something else to social causes person...an interesting shift to see how my friends picked up on it as well.

A long time Stewing

2007-08-17T09:05:00.000-07:00

About a month ago I read "Is God to Blame?" a book about suffering in the world and how we often believe/say/act as though God has placed difficult circumstances in our lives to "teach us something" or it's all part of his ultimate plan.....it's just that this one part of this ultimate plan is horrible to endure (death, natural disaster, divorce).

In some ways this book adds to the plethora of writing on the predestination/free will debate; however, it doesn't present itself as mostly trying to challenge predestination as much as challenging comments that would state God would purposely cause suffering and destruction.

For awhile, having strongly adhered to presdestination-like thinking, this book has really started to change a lot of the way I think and approach people in the world.....or at least serving as the catalyst for some of the things I've been learning over the past couple of years.

It seems easy, well at least acceptable when life doesn't go well, a relationship isn't working, an event isn't coming together....to state "well it must not be what God wants." As though we have this idea of God's plan and purpose as a large mosaic that every problem must be God's design. This is often posed to me by others as "you must be pushing God"....obviously what you're doing isn't God's will.

This book challenges the idea that we could ever really know God's will.....as though its a zero-sum game.....if something works out, bam, we're in God's will.......if it seemingly isn't working....well, of course we must be not doing what God wants. Instead the author suggests that God's will is massive, encompassing the entirety of human existence and history....for us to assume any kind of understand of that, why God made a person die for instance, is crazy.

Theological thinking of this sort doesn't come easy for me....and well, of course turning over things about God and faith you believed to be true and reconsidering them can be even more difficult, willingness to change a worldview even.

So if we're to drop this kind of fatalistic, blueprint worldview that "God causes problems because he wants to, we can't understand the great plan of God" kind of thinking....where are we to turn?

This author suggests understanding God and his purposes to resemble more of a battle-mentality. To imagine that God is out fighting for and looking for the good of those who love him. God WILL work all together for the good of those who love him....doesn't mean he necessarily caused the problem in life, but he's out to fix it and make it right. God is against, not behind, all the evil in the world. Under the blueprint worldview we learn to accept evil things as coming from God.

The author cites several instances when Jesus challenges the blueprint worldview of those around him. Jesus' ministry shows that God's will is not uniformly being carried out in the world "on it's own power"--he must intervene and heal someone, give someone back their dignity. He shows we shouldn't accept infirmies and afflictions as coming from the hand of God.

Jesus instead opperates under the warfare worldview, seeking to go out and do the father's will in the world, to literally bring the kingdom to earth. God will work on the behalf of those who love him.

There are huge implications for social action and social justice in this, instead of excusing the passivity of the church or individuals to get involved in a cause or in helping someone in trouble because "God will take care of it"--we should ACT on behalf of the oppressed, the poor, the widow. God desperately wants for their best, we should too. We are the Lord's coworkers in this battle against those who oppose him.

It also has implications for prayer. Some people believe prayer is only done to change ourselves,not change the will of God--what if this was true? Why would Jesus then say that with prayer we can move mountains? Why would Jesus then teach us to ask God for things? This shows us an urgency instead in prayer.

I haven't totally digested the portion about individual salvation--it is difficult to believe there is anything at all we can do to make a holy God "choose" us. This isn't what the author suggests, I'm just still a bit fuzz on what his arugment in this section actually is.

But this book has changed a lot of how I've viewed the world in the past month--when the house here wasn't coming together, when I was nervous about moving in--well to assume it was God obviously telling us no......just couldn't be. Sometimes good things require a wait. And conversly we could say that maybe Satan was working to not bring us together as a community here. It is difficult to fully extend and attempt to divine God's will in this situation as well. But regardless, I continue to be challenged by this book.

New in the Neighborhood

2007-08-14T05:34:00.000-07:00

I've just spent my 4th night here east of the river in Fairlawn/Anacostia. So far I've felt relatively isolated and incapable.

It's kind of a weird thing--this version of urban "ministry." We don't have any major plans for programs, outreach events, open meals, or after school programs. Instead we want to explore just being good neighbors and loving those we come across. Sounds really nice, but what does that actually look like?

Well, I'm finding without set programs and the confines of scheduled events, it's not very easy to meet people. Now, I'm not saying I think we're going about things incorrectly and instead we need to "start" something--I just think this way of doing things is probably messier and takes a bit more time.

It is more time-consuming to build relationships than just have a giver/receiver relationship built by charities and service opportunities. There is no set beginning or end to a relationship--whereas an after school program or event gives us a schedule within which to begin and end our time together. When you're neighbors.....well you live next to each other all the time.

But still at this point, being home by myself most days....I'm finding it difficult to interact. Maybe I should sit outside more? Walk around? maybe. I'm still not over the unsettled feeling of always having people look at me when I walk around or get on a bus--the only white person in a given group.

Moved in!

2007-08-05T21:09:00.000-07:00

In the past week....my computer's died...so I've been very slow on all my outside communication!

We moved in a lot of our things to our new home in Washington DC. It's in neighborhood called Fairlawn east of the Anacostia River. It's on a very busy/residential street with a lot of traffic, we got to say hello to a lot of the surrounding people today.

pictures and stories to follow soon.

Reading: Gandhi

2007-07-25T10:36:00.000-07:00

This quote from Gandhi's autobiography has struck me recently.... (reminds me of many things Christians say about making vows as well).

The importance of vows grew upon me more clearly than ever before.

I realized that a vow, far from closing the door to real freedom, opened it. Up to this time I had not met with success because the will had been lacking, because I had had no faith in myself, no faith in the grace of God, and therefore, my mind had been tossed on the boisterous sea of doubt. I realized that in refusing to take a vow man was drawn into temptation, and that to be bound by a vow was like a passage from libertinism to a real monogamous marriage. 'I believe in effort, I do not want to bind myself with vows,' is the mentality of weakness and betrays a subtle desire for the thing to be avoided. Or where can be the difficulty in making a final decision ? I vow to flee from the serpent which I know will bite me, I do not simply make an effort to flee from him. I know that mere effort may mean certain death. Mere effort means ignorance of the certain fact that the serpent is bound to kill me. The fact, therefore, that I could rest content with an effort only, means that I have not yet clearly realized the necessity of definite action.'But supposing my views are changed in the future, how can I bind myself by a vow ? ' Such a doubt often deters us. But that doubt also betrays a lack of clear perception that a particular thing must be renounced.

Recent Events

2007-07-25T10:12:00.000-07:00

So I'm still stinking at keeping up with this blogging thing!

But of late here's what I've been up to....

Last week, left for DC for good,
Spent a great night with Cat Esguerra in the heart of DC!
Headed straight up to New Jersey for Laura and Chris' wedding.

The wedding: It was beautiful, absolutely beautiful. Laura and Chris as so great....the minister went on and on about how they "got it"--and they do. What wonderful people and I can't be any happier for them and their new life together. What a blessing that we were all able to be there to share it---fulfilling laura's dreams (I hope) of having all the people she loves come together. I got to know some of her home friends--like Becky! awesome.

Next it was onto Camden, NJ with Janelle for some great time between Urban Promise and Camden House in South Camden. I got to visit my good friend Sean as he started a new job in Philadelphia quite a bit. We all went to Sacred Heart catholic church for Sunday services for a great service, I love how warm and inviting the place is.

I got to touch base with the folks of Camden House and spent some of Monday with the interns--the son of people I know from another community and several of his friends. And I got to see one of the hosue residents I've met.....well I think 3 times now! Small world!
We had a great discussion about community life, post-college aspirations and families. I was enriched meeting these people.

Monday afternoon I ran into several WM people who were working at Urban Promise for the summer--Julia, Sam, and Kelly. It was interesting to hear how different summer experiences can be from a short spring break spent in the city. I had dinner with another William and Mary alum--Mike Errion visiting at the same time! amazing! It was great to see the city "from the other side" with him.

Philadelphia was also great....yea great, great, great. But it was fun to see where Sean's living and working and spend some time getting to know his neighborhood....and walk all the way to the liberty bell! It will be a good place for him to live for the next couple of years.

Now--after a whirlwind week....I'm back in Washington, finishing up fundraising and trying to get life together here. I had dinner with family in Vienna last night---tons of fun!

Back in the city today I attended a conference on Empowering Women in the Developing world....ran into Cosmo's brother associated with Students Helping Honduras....and several Georgetown students/alums.

Currently....well my computer died at least for theday.....but I'm in the William and Mary alumni office....ironically only a few buildings away from the conference......it's a wonderful home-away-from-home.....and voila! They gave me plans to do even two things tomorrow night! Lots of fun!

A Song I've Liked Recently

2007-07-15T17:20:00.000-07:00

Awakening, Sara Groves

Dress down your pretty faith. Give me something real.
Leave out the thee and thou and speak to me now.
Speak to my pain and confusion.
Speak through my fears and my pride.
Speak to the part of me that knows I'm something deep down inside.

I know that I am not perfect, but compare me to most,
In a world of hurt and a world of anger I think I'm holding my own.
And I know that you said there is more to life.
And I know I am not satisfied.
But there are mornings I wake up and I'm just thankful to be alive.

I've known now, for quite a while, that I am not whole.
I've remembered the body and the mind, But disected my soul.
Now something inside is awakening,Like a dream I once had and forgot.
And it's something I'm scared of And something I don't want to stop.

And I woke up this morning and realized that Jesus is not a portait.
Where stained glass windows or hymns or the tradition that surrounds us.
And I thought it would be hard to believe in
But it's not hard at all. To believe I've sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God.

And He's not asking me to change in my joy for martyrdom
He's asking to take my place.
To stand in the gap that I have formed
With His real, and His sweet, and His real amazing grace.
And it's not just a sign or a sacrament.
It's not just a metaphor for love.
The blood is real and it's not just a symbol of your faith.

So leave out the thee and thou and speak now.

Revisiting: Christian Hippies, a year later

2007-07-12T20:29:00.000-07:00

I've avoided blogging recently--whether it's because I'm afraid of who's looking now or once I'm out of habit--I get further and further from being able to form my words into concise entries.....well for my own good, I need to keep this going.

I've waited a week on this one--not my style.

Last week I went to visit some of my New Monastic friends in Louisiana. I had sent them my final paper about a month before. It was a wonderful time to connect not only with good friends who are dealing with the same questions as mine--but also to see some reflections off of what I'd found over my year of studying the movement.

A year is a long time, I found. The community's had some difficult times--but when I think about my past year--well my life hasn't been all roses either. What they pointed out to me as they "aired their dirt"--this isn't how the church works. I have to agree. How often do we as church people sweep the difficult things under the rug and choose instead to talk about pleasant things? What about church politics? difficulties? These are also ignored. It's such a shame....often God's power is best seen in these messy situations--our depravity mixed with the awesome-ness of an almighty God makes for....well good news that needs to be shared.

Also, we got to discuss some of my conclusions of my research--one main criticism I continue to come up against is the closed nature of the New Monastic movement towards those who are potentially interested in joining in similar community work. There are many reasons for this--dealing with the 'fans" takes away from time spent in the neighborhood, and many communities that leave the institutional church in order to do their community work (some would say they've left the institutional church to show the rest of us how to be the church).
However, it was great to be able to discuss how we--as fellow venturers within this moving of the Holy spirit might better help those who are potentially interested in joining in community life and ventures find their way. For some of us this might mean remaining in churches that we otherwise would not in order to let ourselves be used there--for others this could be finding ways to incorporate volunteers on a more scheduled basis. But it's about providing the first stepping stone for people.

It's exciting to see how even our topic of conversations evolved over the time of the year--we're discussing different things now as we live out this "thing" together.

2007-07-07T19:39:00.000-07:00

Check out this video on the neighborhood I'm moving to soon. It's about the environmental disaster the area river is--plus the violence in the neighborhood.

http://www.pbs.org/moyers/journal/07062007/profile2.html

Searching for Sabbath

2007-07-03T21:14:00.000-07:00

During InterVarsity Orientation Training we got a 24-hour period of off-time. It was designated as a "Sabbath" period.

In true InterVarsity fashion, they gave us a handout with some scripture on it and the reasoning behind why taking a rest/sabbath period (likening to when God rested on the 7th day after creation) is good for staff work....and some suggestions for things to do.

In true me fashion, I of course heeded the suggestion. I ended up seeing 2 sets of friends that came into town. Physically I was still pretty exhausted....and started to doubt whether I really was as extroverted as I thought....or if I just needed a good nap and unscheduled time.

By the next day, I took the middle of the day by myself at least to get everything done I've needed to do.....but did I really take a Sabbath? What counts? Is it "taking time off"? More about reconnecting with God? (odd, because some devotional books suggest taking a day off from the "work" of their reading/activities....which seems counter-intuitive to this idea of reconnecting with God). But maybe this Sabbath rest is more about abiding in the presence of God?

What about Sabbath for an extrovert? Is it inherently more social? However, maybe I'm then presupposing that Sabbath always has to include retreat.

I've had a lot of trouble being home finding real rest. There's a strong pressure to always be working, always getting something done. Trying to get funding to 100%.....leaves me often feeling like I'm wasting any time that could be better spent towards that end. During the day I have more free time often than in the evenings when I have meetings or need to make phone calls. Before, having been a work-now-play-later kind of person....all day I feel somewhat guilty for putting off my major work until evening.

It's something I'm going to have to really learn. Any suggestions welcome. How to Sabbath? What the heck to do as Sabbath? Napping or sitting in front of the TV or facebook seem like a waste of time. However, all of these by-yourself activities feel really lonely often to me too. Yet, I just feel exhausted sometimes. Sometimes I think it is just allowing myself the mental vacation from thinking about InterVarsity 24/7.

Proud to work for this organization

2007-06-24T21:26:00.000-07:00

Almost everytime I find out something about InterVarsity at the national level (life in the trenches, on college campuses can be far from the national picture), I am incredibly impressed and feel nothing but God's grace that I've found such a wonderful organization to work for.

For one, the commitment to missions. A couple of days ago I had a long conversation with the founder of the Global Urban Trek (the kind of trip I went on to Bangkok) about my formal 2-year commitment to urban poverty and staff work. He sees a strong potential and possibility in my ability to be influencial in both places. It was exciting to hear from someone I admire like him.

Tonight, however, we discussed InterVarsity's Multiethnic History.

Disclaimer: a Biblical view of Multiethnicity comes out of Revelation 7:9 where John describes the multitude of heaven singing out from every tribe and nation...this shows that we retain our unique cultural and lingual identity in heaven! God created diversity! So if heaven's going to be looking like a mosaic of many kinds of people, we on earth need to be getting ready for that kind of heaven.

Back to InterVarsity's multiethnic ministries. When InterVarsity came to America in the 1940s they were the first evangelical ministry to stand up for and integrate black students into their ministry. At one point during InterVarity's history, almost all the campus staff threatened to quit if the board of InterVarsity would not hire a black man as regular campus staff--to think, threatening the life of the organization. That's a kind of history I'd like to be a part of.

There is a commitment in the organization to building minority leadership and staff. We celebrated all minority Regional Directors (my Regional Director is an African-American man I believe, never met him) and national minority staff. InterVarsity, seeing smaller numbers of minority staff getting involved in high-level leadership, started holding leadership seminars/institutes for minority staff to promote considering leadership. I think this is exciting because it is one thing to say "we think having people in our group that are minorities is good" is one thing....but it's another to put weight behind that statement. InterVarsity has decided to aid minority staff in succeeding on staff, making multiethnic ministry a possibility, not just a nice idea.

All staff agree to a percentage of national overhead being self-taxed in order to create money to give to minority staff who are struggling with funding.

Urban projects are also a significant training ground for students of all ethnic backgrounds to work and live together for a summer, discovering ethnic identity and social justice issues/implications in a multiethnic community. These remain one of the most intense intermingling of students of different racial backgrounds.

InterVarsity press has published more books on racial identity and race-related topics than any other Evangelical press (including big-names like Zondervan).

I'm excited to work for this organization!

Some thoughts on Giving

2007-06-20T08:32:00.001-07:00

I'm here at Orientation for New Staff for my new job with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. We're in Madison, Wisconsin until next Wednesday night. The first 3-4 days of the program are devoted to fund development.

This is a topic many of us are eager to learn more about because we've been spending most of our time on fundraising. It is good to have another booster and refocusing around issues of funding and giving.

One topic that has stuck out to me over and over again is the idea of partnership in giving. This is the idea that donors are a part of the ministry--not just the means to getting us there (on campus).

When donors are a part of the ministry, it works both ways. Not only are our donors able to give to us monetarily and spiritually, providing blessing for us and teaching us to be dependent on God and trust in something other than ourselves to provide for our needs.

Also, this includes the idea that we can minister to our donors as well. We should be concerned for the spiritual development and growth not only of students on campus but also of the donors and supporters of our ministry. One donor spoke about how donors also have "unfinished business with God" and we should be open to being a part of what God wants to do in their lives.

It is not just about asking--but inviting donors into being in need before God. Giving, especially giving money taps into a lot of taboo things in our culture (asking for money, talking about money). Our relationship with money is often very tied to our relationship with God (some people I met talk about the "Big 3": sex, money, power).

Today we studied Philippians. Who knew that Philippians was actually a donor letter Paul wrote to the church in Philippi? (yes, Paul the tent maker also received donations in some occasions as well). Paul demonstrates this kind of spiritual concern for this donors. He talks about how he is not really in need of the money maybe in the way the donors may think ("I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances"). Paul primarily discusses ways that he is looking to be a part of the spiritual development of the giver--("he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ").

This plays into a lot of our insecurities. For me, thinking about the spiritual development of donors is a great conflict--seeing as almost all my supporters will be older than me. It is difficult to not think that spiritual development accompanies physical development (that all older people must be more spiritually mature than younger people). But maybe more on that later.

6/18/2007: Wendell Berry: Alarmist or Prophet?

2007-06-18T12:58:00.001-07:00

I recently relented and finally picked up a copy of “Sex, Economy, Freedom, and Community,” a collection of essays by Kentucky farmer/essayist Wendell Berry.

One of the communities I visited last summer showed a lot of respect for Berry and his general philosophy. They respected his attention to issues of environment and creation, all-sides Christian approach, and desire to “live locally.”

Berry is an avid enthusiast of the local life. As a farmer, he believes in reestablishing the ties that connect people to production—connect people to where their food and products originate—and where their waste ends up. In this way, if all of a community understood and practiced an understanding of being tied to a local place—our “environmental (he finds the term itself absurd, too global in scope)” would be greatly improved. He largely believes Christians cannot, in good faith, participate in the “industrial economy”—but that it is also very dangerous to ignore this idea of economy, believing faith to only be about the thought life or beliefs.

His desire to focus on the local life and connecting people to production sometimes leads me to believe he’s just asking for the “good old days” when communities were not corrupted, people lived and farmed on family land, and families were intact. Possibly he is a bit extreme in believing reestablishing ties to nature would un-do so much of this wrong. Of course, I don’t believe his philosophy is that simple.

However, I am wary of what appear to be “one-dimensional”—just personal solutions to problems. If we all change the way we run our household economies—if we all change the way we approach enemies—that that will solve these larger problems (I would say global, but the man also rejects the notion of thinking globally as absurd).

It’s oddly the same question and suspicion I have about the community I visited. They believed strongly in secession from the economy and creation of sustainable local economies of Christians living out on the margins, separate from life. Am a disbelieving God by thinking this is simply impractical? Or wondering why they cannot look at changing laws?

It is questions like these that make me wary of the Christian Anarchists. However, there is something largely enticing and romantic about this notion of rejecting all other influences except God and radically separating out—even if it is on an urban corner. Maybe it feels pure—closer to what might be the way of God.

A BERRY QUOTE: “The complicity of Christian priests, preachers, and missionaries in the cultural destruction and the economic exploitation of the primary peoples of the Western Hemisphere, as of traditional cultures around the world, is notorious. Throughout the five hundred years since Columbus’s first landfall in the Bahamas, the evangelist has walked beside the conqueror and the merchant, too often blandly assuming that their causes were the same. Christian organizations, to this day, remain largely indifferent to the rape and plunder of the world and of its traditional cultures. It is hardly too much to say that most Christian organizations are as happily indifferent to the ecological, cultural, and religious implications of industrial economics as are most industrial organizations. The certified Christian seems just as likely as anyone else to join the military-industrial conspiracy to murder Creation.”

6/13/2007: Nutrient Deficiency in the House?

2007-06-18T12:57:00.000-07:00

So like any college student home for a long summer with less than normal social interaction—I am always in search of new ways to occupy my time. Also as a certified multi-tasker I have a difficulty doing just one thing at once—I’ve heard it’s a woman thing.

So in the midst of all my InterVarsity thank you notes and regular communication, I went to the Southlake library and looked for a movie to check out.

One problem—I don’t like movies. But I do like watching TV programs—especially on DVD format—no commercials, no waiting a week. Great especially for those series that don’t have any definite plot line from episode to episode as well. Shows like CSI fit this format well—so does HOUSE my recent TV program of choice.

In one week I managed to watch two entire seasons of the show—approximately 24 or more episodes? I’m not really sure. But it’s taken a small toll on my psyche.

It’s a doctor’s diagnostics show. He gets cases of what they believe to be one ailment—only to discover another much more exciting reason for the person’s hospitalization. This has left me thinking disaster will strike at any moment. When someone sneezes—do they really have a strange tropical disease? Or—as common in the show—are they hiding some pregnancy or drug addiction from those around them?

So to set the stage, here comes me feeling rather weak this past week. I started thinking up all the odd things that could be wrong with me. I also started investigating the ins and outs of a vegetarian diet and its effects on nutrient levels.

After googling “light headed” and “vegetarian” I found the likely culprit—an Iron deficiency. I went to the store and bought a multivitamin. But I can’t help but wonder if it’s actually some other crazy problem with my body instead…..

Chance meeting

2007-06-01T21:22:00.000-07:00

So living this far out away from William and Mary, I rarely get to see people from school during breaks. Actually, in the past I have only been able to see people when I traveled to their areas to meet them.

Yesterday, on their drive back from Big Bend National Park in west Texas my friends Eric and Chris came within 35 minutes of my home!

It was really great to see these guys, even for only a short dinner! They seemed to be enjoying all that Texas had to offer--including an internal border patrol.......? Funny for Chris who's a British citizen.

Made for a good Friday evening activity. Thanks guys!

Why is calling so hard?

2007-05-29T07:30:00.001-07:00

I've never really liked talking on the phone--sure, when I was in middle school I talked to friends for hours on the phone or we got together and called boys from our 6th grade class.....but by this point in my life its not one of my favorite pasttimes.

This upcoming job coupled with graduating is requiring me to make many more phone calls than any other time in my recent life. Somehow I get kind of nervous before I dial--even if I'm just calling a friend to talk. I put it off all day long. I have this daunting list of "to dos"--that in reality are only 3 phone calls. Some total all of 5 minutes, others maybe 45. What's with that?

Last Semester of College

2007-05-28T08:50:00.000-07:00

Getting on the plane this last time (minus my two emergency home visits this month), I pulled out my calendar and journal and began my semester "list of events"

Some highlights:
-studying for the LSAT, getting the same score 8-9 times
-Wren Cross explosion, speaking for an audience, the Religious Committee
-braving the Performance Art Ensemble Class
-becoming good friends with a freshman girl
-stopped eating meat, went off meal plan
-Laura home more--and in my classes!
-somewhat successfully completed a speed-reading class
-interviewed and hired for InterVarsity, meet new DC people each time
-IJM: Nik acting wonderfully as the new president
-following Rebecca around as she planned for spring break service trips
-spring break cruise to bahamas
-running a safezone training for Christians
-Senior class gift events
-sober mug nights
-coming home for two funerals, realizing I have a lot of love and friends in my life
-Laura's bachelorette party
-finishing an honors thesis
-Queen of England comes to WM

Thoughts/important verses:
-learning to balance the need for community and sharing with over-indulging or bragging
-learning to be excited and hopeful about the future, grateful I have opportunities
-understanding the limits and temptations of worldly power and recognition
"coming out of Babylon," beware of the Philistines in our lives

-1 John 4:15-18--there is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
-Psalm 119: 32--I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free.
-2 Corinthians 10:5--we demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up agains the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
-Eccel. 5:7-wisdom and knowledge are nothing compared to standing in awe of God.

Back!

2007-05-28T08:49:00.000-07:00

After a 2 month hiatus, I am hoping to keep this blog going this summer--and beyond.
After this summer, I will be joining InterVarsity Christian Fellowship as campus staff at Georgetown University in Washington DC. I hope to keep this site up-to-date for friends to keep in touch with what's going on in the DC area.

Praying for Shoes

2007-03-27T16:06:00.000-07:00

Ever prayed for something just odd?

I don't do it often, probably not often enough actually.

A few months ago, I started praying about my shoes. I have this pair of shoes I just "had to have" when I was 14. They cost well over $100 at the time. Now I don't wear them, mostly because they weigh way too much to literally "tote" around campus--about 10 pounds total.

I started praying that God would give me something to do with these shoes. I know I shouldn't own them anymore. But I also wasn't satisfied just sending them off with the collection box--I wanted to believe....for once, that if I asked, God would show up.....and give me something to do with these shoes.

I was at first thinking along the lines of the relational tithe....I'd meet someone who really needed shoes....and instead of throwing off my cheapest shoes, well I'd pick the most expensive pair I've ever owned. Maybe this was a bit extreme. I remember an instance in Bangkok where a young boy's flip flops broke......I felt overwhelmed to offer him my own shoes. He declined....but for a second, I had to panic......my only pair of sandals for the summer.....well, gone. Not really that crazy.

But then the other day the campus crusade people started talking about doing a Badmitton tournament. I couldn't go--I'll be out of town. But the fundraiser is "Shoes for Souls"--some kind of ministry, somewhere. Probably like Williamsburg Community Chapel's collection of eye glasses.

Regardless........here's my chance, goodbye Doc Martens.

Vegetarianism: some thoughts

2007-03-16T21:09:00.000-07:00

Wendell Berry, a Christian ethicist and Kentucky farmer writes often on the industrial economy and Christian's responsibility to the earth.

He remarks city people often ask him "what city people can do?"
He answers.... [quotation from here forward]

"Eat responsibilty," I have usually answered. Of course, I have tried to explain what I meant by that, but afterwards I have invariably felt that there were more to be said that I had been able to say. Now I would like to attempt a better explanation.
I begin with the proposition that eating is an agricultural act. Eating ends the annual drama of the food economy that begins with planting and birth. Most eaters, however, are no longer aware that this is true. They think of food as an agricultural product, perhaps, but they do not think of themselves as "consumers." If they think beyond that, they recognize that they are passive consumers. They buy what they want--or what they have been persuaded to want--within the limits of what they can get.

Most urban shoppers would tell you that food is produced on farms. But most of them do not know what farms, or what kinds of farms, or where farms are, or what knowledge or skills are involved in farming.

The specialization of production induces specialization of consumption. Patrons of the entertainment industry, for example, entertain themselves less and less and have become more and more passively dependent on commerical suppliers. This is certainly true also of patrons of the food industry, who have tended more and more to be mere consumers--passive, uncritical, and dependent. Indeed, this sort of consumption may be said to be one of the chief goals of industrial production.

The trap is the ideal of industrialism: a walled city surrounded by valves that let merchandise in but no consciousness out. How does one escape this trap? Only voluntarily, the same way that one went in: by resorting one's conscioueness of what is involved in eating; by reclaiming responsibility for one's own part in the food economy. Eaters, that is, must understand that eating takes place inescapably in the world, that is inescapably an agricultural act, and that how we eat determins, to a considerable extend, how the world is used.

[end quote]

Cruising USA?

2007-03-16T20:51:00.000-07:00

For spring break I took a cruise with 11 of my friends to the Bahamas.
We had a good time, getting to hang out on the beach, eat tons of food (there's 3-4 course meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner....plus ice cream/pizza 24 hours a day), and lay around....and for me, read tons. It was a good option for togetherness that didn't require a lot of planning or extra effort.

Cruises are oddities for many reasons. In some ways its like getting Las Vegas or Atlantic City stuck on a boat, casinos, alcohol, and tons of food all at your finger tips....ohh and all the crazy shows. The 80s show, the best. There was sushi, ice cream, oatmeal, cake, fruit, and pizza all the time.

The crew on the cruise comes from all over the world--so say their name tags. Sometimes we wondered if there was a correlation between what kinds of jobs people on the cruise had and their nationalities. I wondered about the ethics of their labor practices, people living on a boat for several months at a time, something to investigate. We wondered about what they thought of us---indulgent, glutenous Americans, all "being served" by them....to our heart's desires, ordering sometimes 5 and 6 things at breakfast or dinner. Did they think we were all greedy, soon to be fat people? I think it'd be a hard job. And that's just the service jobs. Those of the people in the entertainment parts of the ship---it'd be hard to act that happy all the time. However, the crazed karyokee girl seemed to enjoy her life making a spectacle of herself fairly well.

It was an interesting experience for many reasons, and for the sake of sounding/knowing I'm a horrible snob, I won't divulge too far into that train of thought.

But don't get me wrong, it was a great vacation experience--just led me to consider the system at work as well.

Fear and the Future

2007-03-10T16:21:00.000-08:00

One of my good friends recently told me that fear is rooted in selfishness. The more I consider this, the more I agree. Often its a selfishness that says I think where I am and what I'm doing is better than what God has for my future. And that's selfish....and just plain stupid too.

This was part of thinking about how to face the future as an adventure, a next step and not a reason or an excuse to look back with regret or weepy eyes.

What if I faced every day of my future like my road trip this summer....excited to meet new people, and not letting who I've "left behind" fill my mind and keep me from enjoying life and new experiences.

However, there's a flip side to all of this. I recognize that this kind of mentality leaves us very very good at being where we are, with people around us. Is this the way things are supposed to be? Is that how God intended for us, to fill up the relationships around us?

But then Jesus had friends he saw and then thought of while he was gone (Lazarus)...and Paul, well he wrote to people often....I guess from prison. And of course, different times.

But really, now how in this modern world with all the conveniences of communication, are we supposed to face relationships? keep up with friends? How many of us have over 600 facebook friends.....and that's just poeple who are our own age.....

what do you do with that? How do you maintain relationships? Do you pick....say 10 and hope those are the ones that work......or create a rotating "call list"......I don't know.

I like to be where I am.....but there are people who are near and dear to me who are not constantly in front of my face, I've learned to communicate long-distance with my family well....but friends, I've been pretty awful. hmmm

Dreams are nothing next to standing in Awe

2007-02-19T16:10:00.003-08:00

For in a multitude of dreams there is futility and worthlessness, and ruin in a flood of words. But reverently fear God revere and worship Him, knowing that He is.
-Ecclesiasties 5:7

2/19/2007: Fighting for the Win?

2007-02-19T16:10:00.002-08:00

Sometimes I wonder how Christians can ever justify a political "fight" or stance. It seems contrary to the nature of Christians to be crusading or promoting for any cause of any kind.

I fear, being someone easily excited about politics and debate, that I can begin purusing the win, over pursuing God or something of his greater character.

I think the greatest danger in pursuing the win has to do with the inevitable beating-the other side portion of winning. To win, someone must lose. It is disheartening to see people starting to mark up tallies, deciding who's coming up "better" than the other, or who holds the upper hand. When we focus on beating someone else, for whatever reason, we cease to love them. We cease to see them as children of God, only as another pawn in a cause.

We see people plotting other's demise, Christian people plotting the demise of other Christians (is the hand revolting on the foot, cutting its own disordered body apart). It hurts. I'm not proposing that Jesus was always a pacifist, though, maybe he was--just not in a lie-down-and-get-hurt kind of way.

pray for unity of the body.

2/17/2007: Morning Stillness

2007-02-19T16:10:00.001-08:00

Something beautiful I’ve started practicing this year, having my own kitchen and apartment, I enjoy long mornings sitting by myself, doing devotions and enjoying the quiet of the morning. I’m not normally someone who likes spending time by myself, but this morning time has become precious to me. It’s nice to live as those this is my home, able to eat and read the Bible in the morning in pajamas, relaxing into the day instead of having to rush to take a shower first thing as I’ve done every other year in college.

I guess its just one of those parts of learning what you like in life and who you want to become.

2/16/07: Back on that Train....

2007-02-19T16:10:00.000-08:00

I love the freedom of public transportation, the freedom to spend the time doing something else or enjoying watching the world and scenery go by—instead of driving and needing to concentrate. Of course, it leads to contemplation. And thanks to Amtrak, there are plugs for computers—so a place to catalogue thoughts. I head to Washington, DC again. This time for the “real thing” interview. We’ll see. Another one of those things I’m a bit apprehensive to discuss and divulge into in front of an internet audience (what of 1, 2….haha who knows?).

My perfect vision of a partying, freeing second semester senior year has yet to take root. This is starting to concern me a bit. Last weekend I took the LSAT, of course that was a lot of time and preparation. Then after that it was time take care of everything I hadn’t done instead of the LSAT—honors thesis, namely and a midterm and lecture to read for.

But of course, the life of all other organizations rolls on as well—this coming week after 3 days out of town, I come back to a long evening showing Invisible Children, a Honors Presentation in front of my advisors and friends, and culminating in Mortar Board’s selection evening (I hear to expect to stay for 5 hours….wow). Well at least my academic work isn’t taking up too much of my time. Of course, minus that measly thesis….

Well there’s the laundry list of life. The emotions and real stuff of life leaves me holding the hard emotions at arm’s length. I feel like my closest relationships are really starting to make sense and come to the point of honesty and love I’ve looked for all my life—roommates, other close friends….and its some sick joke that I’ll be so far from these people in 3 month’s time. I don’t have the emotional strength to start withdrawing now, which is good.

Its so hard to remember that God has timing for everything. There’s a time for me to become really close to my roommate this semester—after we’ve known each other for 3.5 other years…..and that’s ok. That’s hard for me to grasp. I want to believe that we should’ve gotten it together a long time ago—but to realize maybe this was God’s timing for our lives. That’s hard to comprehend. And sometimes hurts, why do I get her this close for a year—and not, well 10 or 20? Why does she have to move West? Just to take one example.

And not to even mention, the 3 or 4 close friends of mine who are abroad/living away this semester. Why now? What will happen in the future.

I think I have such a hard time believing that I will find and experience these good of friendships ever again in the future, that God has a plan for new sets of inspiring, loving, supportive people for the rest of my life. That’s hard to believe in the moment when I love these people and would be perfectly content taking them with me for the rest of my lives.

But, to discount how thankful I should feel for all the love and support in my life---well that’d just be silly. God is good. I am so thankful for the relationships in my life—but also for the new relationships coming up even this semester. I’ve gotten to know this lovely freshman girl who lights up my life.

LSAT over!

2007-02-13T07:03:00.001-08:00

Took my first official LSAT Saturday, thank the Lord its over. Could be much ado about nothing...but really, who knows?

When it comes to law school, UTexas and Rutgers somehow are the only ones that come to mind....interesting combination....and I might have a chance of getting in too!

Well, let it be known this is not the immediate plan for my life though.

Other life highlights....
--Some more cross-related action going on with the BOV on campus and some zealous activists on either side....can't really talk about that here, but its become a big part of my life
--attempting to get back into writing this thesis again after several more weeks of neglect
--attending Peace Hill, liking getting to know all kinds of people there--and seeing great people like Allison back in town!
--Great dinner with 2 girls interested in New Monasticism--one I've known since a freshman seminar on God and the Protest Novel...and another kindred spirit who transfered last year....we had our last 2 good talks before this in dorm kitchens....funny that.

Life is good, senior year is much busier than I ever expected....or really wanted it to be. Hopefully after this weekend's interview (IV in DC)...I can settle down a little and chill out more. However, looking back, I've definitely had more crazy semesters than this.

LSAT over!

2007-02-13T07:03:00.000-08:00

I am Growing....

2007-02-01T11:50:00.000-08:00

Sometimes its amazing to just sit back and consider the person we've become.

To consider what we've learned about life, love, and relating to those around us. I'm amazed by God's ability to emotionally mature us, baby step after baby step.

I am so blessed. My life is so full and there are so many amazing people with amazing talents and love in it. Thank you Jesus!